Where do you put your wang while you empty your bowels?

[Kerjack]

When you are on a standard bowl like such how do you manage the wang?
http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A3532/35326/300_35326.jpg


Its not like I'm King Kong Dong over here but I have to sit forward and hold it strait down while I piss as not to let it touch the underside of the lid or rest against the porcelain bowel. Then once done urinating I fold over some toilet paper a few times and set it on the front of the lid to rest my penis on while I lay the loaf.

Course this can be a problem when you all of a sudden feel the piss heading on its way out in the middle of a big one so you have to be quick to get the sucker back in the bowl.

[Skybase]

IBTP!

[redsox39]

I scoot all the way back...plus when you are having a bad one, it splatters on the back of the toilet. Marking your territory.

[The Batman]

I mean, wow.... wtf....

[CrazyCarl]

you have to be quick to get the sucker back in the bowel.
that sounds awkward

[Morfin]

I am absolutely flabbergasted. This inane poll was not started by RedSox.

[The Batman]

I am absolutely flabbergasted. This inane poll was not started by RedSox.

Honestly, I waiting to see that Sink started this poll.

[IdiotBrain]

pole?

[nuclearjew]

Honestly, I waiting to see that Sink started this poll.
How were you waiting? When you see the poll thread title, the thread starter's name is shown underneath.

Oh wait, are you retarded? If so, I apologize.

[Nature's Folly]

I let my dick just bounce round out there and if i have to pee, well that's what the wall in front of me is for.

[BIG PIZZLE]

When you are on a standard bowl like such how do you manage the wang?
http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A3532/35326/300_35326.jpg


Its not like I'm King Kong Dong over here but I have to sit forward and hold it strait down while I piss as not to let it touch the underside of the lid or rest against the porcelain bowel. Then once done urinating I fold over some toilet paper a few times and set it on the front of the lid to rest my penis on while I lay the loaf.

Course this can be a problem when you all of a sudden feel the piss heading on its way out in the middle of a big one so you have to be quick to get the sucker back in the bowl.


So you failed potty training?

[medlar]

Why would you want to know this. But wait, I will tell you...I never take a dump in a public toilet and at home my toilet is spotless so no worries.

[Le Goat]

I don't sit down. I hover

[BIG PIZZLE]

When I was little, I peed while taking a dump and my piss shot clean through the space between the seat and the bowl. I was absolutely horrified because I thought that my peen was not compatable with standard toilets.

[Morfin]

I don't sit down. I hoverThat's only cuz you wants the bigger PLOP.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I'm guessing that these are only available in California?

http://img.alibaba.com/photo/11434068/Toilet_Seat_Cover_Paper_Dispenser.jpg

[The GWD]

You'd guess wrong. I couldn't shit publicly without a seat cover. I'm too fat to hover.

[Mustard]

In mother russia, toilet sits on you and puts wang in you while it empties its bowels.

[Jericho]

When you are on a standard bowl like such how do you manage the wang?
http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A3532/35326/300_35326.jpg


Its not like I'm King Kong Dong over here but I have to sit forward and hold it strait down while I piss as not to let it touch the underside of the lid or rest against the porcelain bowel. Then once done urinating I fold over some toilet paper a few times and set it on the front of the lid to rest my penis on while I lay the loaf.

Course this can be a problem when you all of a sudden feel the piss heading on its way out in the middle of a big one so you have to be quick to get the sucker back in the bowl.
This is one of the goofiest things that I've ever heard. Does anyone else do this? Is this some common practice that I'm unaware of?

[Hoser]

This is one of the goofiest things that I've ever heard. Does anyone else do this? Is this some common practice that I'm unaware of?

He's from Montana, nuff said.

[fuldstændigamok]

He's from Montana, nuff said.

Yeah, well exactly, I thought that these people were still shitting in a hole by the end of their garden, that's why I'm surprised by this poll.

[fastjohnnybuell]

My cock never leaves my hand. Either does my balls.

[Hoser]

I take it "my hand" is code word for smuckers mouth.

[Poop Sailboat]

i kind of hold my junk down against my body, just to make sure it doesn't touch the seat

[BIG PIZZLE]

This is one of the goofiest things that I've ever heard. Does anyone else do this? Is this some common practice that I'm unaware of?

Rest assured, this is not normal. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

[White Rhino]

I'm guessing that these are only available in California?

http://img.alibaba.com/photo/11434068/Toilet_Seat_Cover_Paper_Dispenser.jpg
I have to use porta- shitters all the time, so those are a standard for me in Washington. When you have 20 contractors shitting in the same porta-potty, and half of them are some of the dirtiest fuckers on the planet, you have to take procations. My wife wouldn't believe me if I said, "I got the herps from a toilet seat."

[Satan]

Blumpkin ftw

[Jericho]

Rest assured, this is not normal. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Yeah, I just tried this and it made me feel worthless and stupid. Fuck you, kerjack. You weirdo

[Poop Sailboat]

Yeah, I just tried this and it made me feel worthless and stupid. Fuck you, kerjack. You weirdo
so while your wang was flopped on a toilet seat you thought of kerjack. homo.

[CrazyCarl]

Jericho's having a very gay day

[BIG PIZZLE]

Does anyone else play with their nipples while dropping a turd?

[Jericho]

Tis the season?

[Pox]

In Kerjack's moms mouth.

[medlar]

My nipples are too small to get a good grasp on.

[EVILution!]

I've put my dick in some dirty places; the toilet is the last of my worries.

[medlar]

So, you've tried?


I've tried every possible erogenous zone on me.

[Bill Paxton]

This is absurd, you all sound like pussies. Fucking toilet seat covers? Come the fuck on.

[Rumpleforeskin]

Sometimes, depending on the make and age of the toilet (age as in before low-flow toilets) my balls would dangle into the water, so I'd have to lean forward a bit and hold them up. I wish my ding-dong was long enough to hang into the poopy toilet water instead. :(

[Skybase]

Really. This entire topic is much less disturbing than most of the "ideas" that run through his head.

/cry

[Mustard]

This thread sucks more dick than Lisa Lampenelli at a..... place with lots of black people.

[Skybase]

This thread sucks more dick than Lisa Lampenelli at a..... place with lots of black people.

Where the fuck is Taters?

[Candycane]

I have to say this is the most disgusting poll to date. Also they should invent a weenie holder if it is that much of a problem. I suspect having poo splatter up on y our undercarriage is a small price to pay to be able to stand up and pee without it dribbling all over your panties and feet.

[Skybase]

I have to say this is the most disgusting poll to date. Also they should invent a weenie holder if it is that much of a problem. I suspect having poo splatter up on y our undercarriage is a small price to pay to be able to stand up and pee without it dribbling all over your panties and feet.

I've stopped wearing panties for just that reason.

[Kerjack]

I have to say this is the most disgusting poll to date. Also they should invent a weenie holder if it is that much of a problem.

I think that is why the elongated bowl was invented, although it doesn't always fix the problem considering how shallow some are in front it normally does.

[Skybase]

Maybe they should add a vagina?

[JT]

I put mine on the seat so it doesn't dip into the water.

I don't want turds touching my peen.

[banethejuggalo]

i do whatever, thats gangster

[Jericho]

Dude, quit bumping polls!

[Skybase]

Dude, quit bumping polls!

Jesus Fucking almighty Christ who art in heaving fucking looking down upon the mother fucking Goddamn world beneath his holier than fucking thou infested fucking feet!

( /agreed )

[Bastard]

All this time, I thought kerjack was a guy but apparently he pees sitting down and is infact a little girl.

[Kerjack]

Emptying your bowels while standing up doesn't make you a man, it makes your pants smell.

[Skybase]

All this time, I thought kerjack was a guy but apparently he pees sitting down and is infact a little girl.

you empty your bowels standing up?

Got Shit-socks?

[Shannon!MD!!!]

i dont have bowels :( or a penis :( maybe there could be a more shannon friendly poll.

[Satan]

two weeks later....this thread still sucks.

[Mustard]

Where do you tuck your vagina then?