The Dude Talk thread

[Satan]

I just farted and it smelled like peanuts

[WET HOT MESS]

Oh you're so manly.

[Mustard]

Sometimes, when the weekend passes and I don't shower, my balls smell like the fresh field dressing of an elk.

[Kerjack]

I like flavored water.

[Mustard]

I like flavored water.
GTFO

[Satan]

I like flavored water.
The only water we talk about in here has barley and hops in it.

[Mustard]

The only water we talk about in here has barley and hops in it.
I'm asuming liquor is ok too.

[Jericho]

My balls are so big that it makes my weiner look small

[Mustard]

Salma Hayek has some great tits.

[Kerjack]

I sometimes piss in the shower. I also almost always double condition.

[Mustard]

Everybody pisses in the shower.

If you say you don't, you're a bald faced liar.

[Candycane]

My balls are so big that it makes my weiner look small


Not a good pick up line, just a little FYI.

[Archetype]

Everybody pisses in the shower.

If you say you don't, you're a bald faced liar.
I like to drink coke while I'm pissing. At the gym.

[Satan]

I once pounded a beer while I was taking a piss.

[Mustard]

I like to drink coke while I'm pissing. At the gym.I like to do coke while I'm getting a blowjob?

'Course... those two things haven't coincided yet in my life, but I'm still sure I'd like it.

[Kerjack]

I've drank a (flavored) water while pissing in the shower.

[Kerjack]

Also eaten a granola bar in there.

[mongo]

that christian bale is one fine piece of arse!

[Satan]

I've drank a (flavored) water while pissing in the shower.
I'm about to revoke your man card. Go play in the chick's thread.

[Archetype]

I like to do coke while I'm getting a blowjob?

'Course... those two things haven't coincided yet in my life, but I'm still sure I'd like it.
I bet they have while you're giving one, hiyyoooo!

[mongo]

me and my ****** beatin' stick. that's manly, right?

http://i44.tinypic.com/2qxnfb8.jpg

[WET HOT MESS]

Your glasses look so stupid.

[Jericho]

Not a good pick up line, just a little FYI.
It's aiiiight. I'm charming as hell

[mongo]

so do your itty bitty titties.

[Archetype]

me and my ****** beatin' stick. that's manly, right?

http://i44.tinypic.com/2qxnfb8.jpg
You're supposed to use wood when you beat *******.

[Kerjack]

I'm about to revoke your man card. Go play in the chick's thread.


I have 3 sets of toilet bowels out in a shed for the express purpose of blowing up?

[Mustard]

I bet they have while you're giving one, hiyyoooo!
ZING!
me and my ****** beatin' stick. that's manly, right?

http://i44.tinypic.com/2qxnfb8.jpg
Shit son... I got you trumped. Not only do I have a Louisville Slugger TPX 2 feet from me, 3 feet from me is a REAL man's club. 5 feet and 9 pounds of lumber only a giant can swing. I'm halfway tempted to take a picture of it with my cellphone, have Sprint charge me 8 thousand dollars per KB to upload, and upload it to GMF.

[mongo]

You're supposed to use wood when you beat *******.

you happy now, biggot?

http://i44.tinypic.com/991mi9.jpg

[Satan]

you happy now, biggot?

http://i44.tinypic.com/991mi9.jpgnow do one with white sheets

[Archetype]

you happy now, biggot?

http://i44.tinypic.com/991mi9.jpg
Much better. I hope you smile like that too.

[Kerjack]

I don't want to alarm anyone but that ugly bug is carrying a baseball bat.

[Mustard]

I don't want to alarm anyone but that ugly bug is carrying a baseball bat.
Kinda looks like he has two? Wait, "ugly bug?" Are you a toddler or something?

[WET HOT MESS]

so do your itty bitty titties.
I like my wall! Regardless of what you think.

[mongo]

I like my wall!

you should marry a tennis player, he could practice on it.

[Mustard]

I like my wall! Regardless of what you think.
Just get pregnant, problem solved.

[WET HOT MESS]

It's too soon.

[WET HOT MESS]

you should marry a tennis player, he could practice on it.
You back to eating your tofu dick.

[Mustard]

It's never too soon for jello, or for preggo asian gangbangs.

[mongo]

Just get pregnant, problem solved.

apparently blind guys are tough to find in maryland.

[WET HOT MESS]

I'm not ready for it!

[Mustard]

apparently blind guys are tough to find in maryland.
What ever happened to just blinding a man with knives, or flashing mad Don King bush at just the right time?
I'm not ready for it!
Excuses, excuses... do you want big cans or not?

[WET HOT MESS]

Pregnancy only give temporarily massive boobage. And then it sags. IT SAGS. I has small perks, it's good enough.

[Mustard]

These are the prices you must pay to get up to the majors. Baseball players sacrifice more.

[mongo]

i prefer small tits. smaller than an "a" cup is sexy.

[Mustard]

i prefer small tits. smaller than an "a" cup is sexy.
That is essentially flat chested, aka a man, aka you're a fag.

[mongo]

but if they have an a cup or smaller, they are fit as hell 99% of the time. i like nice abs and a nice ass 100000x more than nice tits.

[Mustard]

Hey, I like tone womenz and nice derriers as much as the next guy, but I guess I just need a curvier figure to charge my chicken.

Ironic? You're fit and you prefer fit women. I'm not fit, and I would rather have a woman with some sexy curves.

[Satan]

That is essentially flat chested, aka a man, aka you're a fag.he likes them flat chested and he likes doing them in the ass over vag or mouth. Seems like he'd be just as happy with a dude.

[Claydon]

lets talk liquor gents, i dare not mention vino as all of your balls will shrivel up and retract into your groins.


so...bourbon? scotch? vodka? what is your favorite poison?

[WET HOT MESS]

GAY TALK THREAD!

[Satan]

lets talk liquor gents, i dare not mention vino as all of your balls will shrivel up and retract into your groins.


so...bourbon? scotch? vodka? what is your favorite poison?If you wanna talk manly drinking, try a liquid cocaine. That shit will tear you the fuck up.

[Mustard]

he likes them flat chested and he likes doing them in the ass over vag or mouth. Seems like he'd be just as happy with a dude.
Oh yeah... I forgot Tim's preference of anal over vag.

yeah, i stand by my first comment.

[Claydon]

GAY TALK THREAD!

GTFO

[Claydon]

If you wanna talk manly drinking, try a liquid cocaine. That shit will tear you the fuck up.

had that several years ago when my now brother in law turned 21. and yes..it did tear us apart.

[mongo]

seriously, who prefers vag over butthole? huh?

[Satan]

seriously, who prefers vag over butthole? huh?That'd be like choosing my favorite child. I like them both.

[Claydon]

seriously, who prefers vag over butthole? huh?

heterosexuals prefer the vag.....only fags crave the anus..... sort of like yourself.

[Mustard]

seriously, who prefers vag over butthole? huh?
I love the pussy. I crave pussy. Pussy and me are like this *crosses fingers*

Anus? Meh.

[Claydon]

anus is an exit

[mongo]

i crave asshole.

[Satan]

anus is an exit
you need to experiment more.

[WET HOT MESS]

i crave asshole.
I think I need to sig that.

[Claydon]

my favorite hard alcohol:

Patron Silver
Glenlivet 12
Glenlivet 15
Glenlivet 18
Macallan 12
Macallan 15
Macallan 18
Grey Goose Vodka
Belvedere Vodka

Cocktails:
Rob Roy
Manhattan
Vodka Martini dirty 2 olives
Cosmopolitan
Margarita

[mongo]

my favorite hard alcohol:
Cock

[Claydon]

you need to experiment more.

ive done it, however I have intimate knowledge what is within the intestinal track of people, and no way am i sticking my wee wee in there.

[Archetype]

Vodka's pretty gross in general.

[mongo]

we all have the knowledge of what your wife looks like, and no way are we sticking our wee wee in that.

[Satan]

ive done it, however I have intimate knowledge what is within the intestinal track of people, and no way am i sticking my wee wee in there.so use a rubber

[Mustard]

Vodka's pretty gross in general.
With that said, I hate gin more straight (who drinks gin straight anyway?) but gin martini is the only way to go.

[Archetype]

With that said, I hate gin more straight (who drinks gin straight anyway?) but gin martini is the only way to go.
Had a friend who drank gin and only gin back in High School. His reasoning? It tastes like bark.

[Claydon]

With that said, I hate gin more straight (who drinks gin straight anyway?) but gin martini is the only way to go.

my uncle use to drink gin on the rocks, makes me cringe to this day thinking about it.

[Claydon]

Had a friend who drank gin and only gin back in High School. His reasoning? It tastes like bark.

well, it is flavored with things like the fucking inedible berries from juniper trees.

[Satan]

If I drink something straight, its usually rum.

[Hodge]

I have a new spot on my wang. Here, take a look...

[mongo]

i like vodka on the rocks.

[Claydon]

If I drink something straight, its usually rum.

rums can be fucking awesome, however I really will only drink a puerto rican rum that my sisters boyfriend brings back with him and cannot be purchased in the US. That stuff is simply amazing.

[Hodge]

Rum that costs less than $30 CAN usually doesn't float my boat. That makes me sad because I love the expensive shit to death.

[Satan]

http://evilmonito.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/70410cane_bottleshot_clnt021105-407x547.jpg

[the creeps]

i will from time to time have patron on the rocks. but that is about it. i like it as shots or mixed. i'am not crazy about sipping booze.

[Hodge]

http://www.drinkon.com/Details/SP1111222/Detail/alt-img/goslings_700.jpg
http://spine.stevedinn.com/images/articles/2003/CaptainMorganPrivateStock.jpg
Mmmmm mmmmm,

[Claydon]

http://evilmonito.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/70410cane_bottleshot_clnt021105-407x547.jpg

nice choice.


so i pretty much have a fucking SHIT ton of liquor now. Several bottles of various vodkas, 4 bottles of patron (silver, orange and green), 5 bottles of various scotches, couple bottles of bourbon, couple bottles of vermouth, bottle of bitters, old fashion glasses, high ball glasses, ice bucket, martini glasses, martini pitcher, a couple of shakers and various other ingredients. bottom line...i think it is time i had a bar because basically all this stuff is taking up room in the pantry. Suggestions? Im still a renter.

[the creeps]

nice choice.


so i pretty much have a fucking SHIT ton of liquor now. Several bottles of various vodkas, 4 bottles of patron (silver, orange and green), 5 bottles of various scotches, couple bottles of bourbon, couple bottles of vermouth, bottle of bitters, old fashion glasses, high ball glasses, ice bucket, martini glasses, martini pitcher, a couple of shakers and various other ingredients. bottom line...i think it is time i had a bar because basically all this stuff is taking up room in the pantry. Suggestions? Im still a renter.
party at clay's ?

[Claydon]

party at clay's ?

yah right, most likely i would get socked in the face and a kick in the gut by you fags for my troubles.

[Mustard]

I'd rather party with my grandparents.

[mongo]

i'd rather party w/ kerjack.

[Claydon]

I'd rather party with my grandparents.

you wouldn't even fit through the front door, and none of my furniture has been super reinforced.

[Claydon]

i'd rather party w/ kerjack.

brokeback mountain fetish?

[Satan]

yah right, most likely i would get socked in the face and a kick in the gut by you fags for my troubles.
only after we drank all the booze.

[mongo]

yah right, most likely i would get socked in the face and a kick in the gut by you fags for my troubles.

at least you don't have to worry about us fucking your bitch!

[IdiotBrain]

I drank all kinds straight, it's the best way to enjoy a good liquor.

Gotta love Gentleman Jack, and Single Barrel, but I've even been known to drink Jack straight. Johnny, Jim, Jose.... you name it, I like it raw.

Nothing beats a good Scotch on the rocks, though.

Gotta love a good scotch and water, too.

http://www.victorycigarbar.com/dewars-bottles.jpg

[Claydon]

I drank all kinds straight, it's the best way to enjoy a good liquor.

Gotta love Gentleman Jack, and Single Barrel, but I've even been known to drink Jack straight. Johnny, Jim, Jose.... you name it, I like it raw.

Nothing beats a good Scotch on the rocks, though.

Gotta love a good scotch and water, too.

http://www.victorycigarbar.com/dewars-bottles.jpg

i use dewars white for my rob roys

[TylerDurden]

i'd run me one of these if i could...
http://www.trendpimp.com/images/articles/history-of-jaegermeister-1.jpg

[Kerjack]

i'd rather party w/ kerjack.

brokeback mountain fetish?

Screw you guys!


Although if I ever go down to CA I might have to see if Claydon wants to meet me in San Diego and square off (http://www.barnstorming.com/documents/52.html).

Short Article (http://www.sandiego.org/article/Visitors/468)

[papillon]

My liquor cabinet has 1 fucking bottle of scotch in it -- Johnny Red. When I'm done, I buy another 40oz. My fridge has 1 kind of beer in it -- Labatt's Blue.

[ruffdog]

I have a bottle of jose cuervo, two 40s of baileys (dont ask), 40 of smirnoff, around 20-30 bottles of wine (i dont drink wine - pops keeps giving them to me), and some home made rakija (got from a friend) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakia (pear) and a 40 of crown, and a almost empty bottle of hpnotiq

[Claydon]

Screw you guys!


Although if I ever go down to CA I might have to see if Claydon wants to meet me in San Diego and square off (http://www.barnstorming.com/documents/52.html).

Short Article (http://www.sandiego.org/article/Visitors/468)

you sir, would die almost instantly!

[fastjohnnybuell]

yah right, most likely i would get socked in the face and a kick in the gut by you fags for my troubles.


I'd worry more about your anus.

[internetcox]

Christine McCallum a Massachusetts middle school teacher accused of having sex with student over 300 times. They started having sex when the student was 13 years old and continued till he was 16. The relationship would come to unravel when the school teacher became jealous with the 16 year old talking to girls his own age.

Jealous Teacher Arrested (sex with student 300 times) (http://webcastr.com/videos/news/allegedly-obsessed-sex-teacher-arrested.html)

http://www.oliverwillis.com/news/img/ZZ661ABCB6.jpg (http://webcastr.com/videos/news/allegedly-obsessed-sex-teacher-arrested.html)

[Will-Kill]

What a bitch, he could of been asking the girl to join in on the fun.

[Nature's Folly]

Christine McCallum a Massachusetts middle school teacher accused of having sex with student over 300 times. They started having sex when the student was 13 years old and continued till he was 16. The relationship would come to unravel when the school teacher became jealous with the 16 year old talking to girls his own age.

Jealous Teacher Arrested (sex with student 300 times) (http://webcastr.com/videos/news/allegedly-obsessed-sex-teacher-arrested.html)

http://www.oliverwillis.com/news/img/ZZ661ABCB6.jpg (http://webcastr.com/videos/news/allegedly-obsessed-sex-teacher-arrested.html)

Can someone just change his name to webcastr and be done with it...this is getting sad.

[internetcox]

http://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/christine-a-mccallum-1.jpg

http://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/christine-a-mccallum-2.jpg



Bent over:
http://wizbangblog.com/images/2009/01/christine-mccallum.JPG

[mongo]

i hope your death is slow and painful, internetcox.

[TTT]

wow, I know I've been gone a long time when TIM is posting in the "dude talk" thread.

[Jericho]

That is mongo

[Blue]

You have been gone a long time, TiM isn't who you think he is.

[TTT]

oh...whoops. Sorry, new TIM. I would never wish "old TiM" upon anyone like that.

[Jericho]

You've been gone awhile,man. Our bromance has fizzled

[Blue]

Yeah but Claydon's still a homo.

[TTT]

absence makes the GMF heart grow...lamer?

[Satan]

Jericho, TT...all we need is SiG and we'd have a full blown naked weapons reunion.

[NOTKyle]

All I remember about TT is that time he ate alot of burritos.

Or something.

MEAT IN FLOUR YUM YUM YUM

[Mustard]

Did somebody say burritos?

[TTT]

oh man...so many beans...

[Mustard]

no me gusta frijoles.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I gotta pee.

[Mustard]

I don't believe you.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I just peed.

[Claibo]

thats what R Kelley said...

[BIG PIZZLE]

So, I've been shopping for a BBQ and this is what I've found.

http://www.outdoorchef.com/images/intelli/gaskugelgrill_mittel/city_grill_420.jpg
Too small and kind of expensive for the size.

http://www.outdoorchef.com/images/intelli/gaskugelgrill_mittel/roma_570mx2.jpg
A little too big and too expensive.

http://www.outdoorchef.com/images/intelli/gaskugelgrill_mittel/ascona_570_blue.jpg
Just right but not available in the US.

[Kerjack]

Just received a Christmas gift from my buddy in Afghanistan, Old leather belt and brass belt buckle bearing the Hammer & Sickle from when Russia invaded .

[Gary_Busey]

When you have too much time/money on your hands.


Neatorama reader Trent Whatley sent these awesome photos of a BBQ grill made from a Chevy V8 engine block! This beast may not crank out 500 HP but it does produce 60,000 BTU!
Trent wrote:My neighbor Terry Bacon had all the torches and welders so he played a big role in that department. The idea has been rolling around in my head for a couple years but I just hadn’t found the time or all the parts to pull it off. I did some internet searching to see if anyone had already built one and that is how I found your site. There are some cars that have been turned into BBQ’s and some BBQ’s that are ran by an engine but I have yet to see an engine that has been made into a BBQ. It’s been an interesting turn of events in the making. When I pitched the idea to some of my friends, most thought I was a little off but after they saw it in working order they were impressed. It is still a work in progress with lots of add-on’s to come. Now that it has proved to be a functional unit it’s time to dress her up a bit. I took it to a local car show this weekend and I think my grill had more lookers than a lot of the cars there. It was definitely the hit of the 4th of July BBQ.
Fantastic! Thanks Trent!
Update 7/13/07: Visit Trent’s website here: V8-Grill (http://www.v8-grill.com/) - Thanks Gear Head!
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2007-07/chevy-v8-grill-1.jpg
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2007-07/chevy-v8-grill-2.jpg
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2007-07/chevy-v8-grill-3.jpg
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2007-07/chevy-v8-grill-4.jpg
Also check out: Neatorama’s Top 10 Coolest BBQ Grills (And Then Some!) (http://www.neatorama.com/2006/06/08/top-10-coolest-bbq-grills/)
Update 10/17/07: Trent just sent me this updated photo and a new blog (http://v8-grill.blogspot.com/) for the V8 Grill.
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2007-10/v8-grill-photos.jpg

[Hoser]

Kinda cool, but that lid would weight a ton.

[Claydon]

Kinda cool, but that lid would weight a ton.

[Pax Britannia]

So my girlfriend told me she loved me during sex last night. She hasnt said it before or since so my question is: Does it count if a women says she loves you when your making her cum?

[Candycane]

So my girlfriend told me she loved me during sex last night. She hasnt said it before or since so my question is: Does it count if a women says she loves you when your making her cum?


That's the only time it does count.

[Pax Britannia]

So there is great truth in orgasms?

[Candycane]

Yes, cumming is like a shot of sodium penthanol into your pussy.

[Pax Britannia]

So thats why Bond bangs all those girls....

[Aegis]

Only way to tell for sure is to be fucking her in the ass and then ask for head. If she does it, she loves you.

[wacker]

Anyone know anything about fuses that are found in old houses? I think I just blew one but I am not 100% sure. A ceiling lamp type thing literally broke in half as well so I don't know if that is responsible or if its just a fuse.

[Kerjack]

Go out and check the fuse? Both old styles I'm familiar with are pretty easy to tell if they are blown.

[wacker]

I did that, what am I looking for? had no idea if it was blown or not.

[Kerjack]

Do they sort of look like this:
http://z.about.com/d/homerepair/1/5/m/2/-/-/fuse_box_intro2.jpg

or

http://www.tlc-direct.co.uk/Images/Products/size_3/MM604R.JPG

[wacker]

The first ones.

[Kerjack]

Look in the glass window, if they are blown the metal filament should have melted in two and may have visible burn marks around or covering the glass

[wacker]

Yeah, it looks blown. Thats what I thought happened but the lamp smoked and broke in half essentially so I didn't know if the wiring fucked up (if that is even possible) The landlord is supposed to stop by tomorrow anyway so he can sort it out.

Thanks.

[Kerjack]

Thank god for fuses then because you probably would have had a fire.

[wacker]

A fire wouldn't surprise me in this piece of shit house.

I went into the room turned on the light it flashed and went out so I went and replaced the bulb, turned the light back on and it flashed again and smoked and then fell apart. Fucking house.

[}{arlequin]

reading this page from the top had real promise until you two came along

[wacker]

If my house burned down you woudn't be saying that.

[Blue]

wanna bet?

[Pax Britannia]

I need some dude advice. A friend of mine has been dating his g/f for just over 3 months and they've already bought a place and moved in together. I've been with my g/f for about 6 months and we've never really discussed moving in together. When I suggested to my friend that he may be rushing into things he countered that I was just really slow with relationships. That got me thinking.

So my question is: Is it normal to move in with a girl after 3 months?

[Gary_Busey]

No, no and fucking hellll no.

[Blue]

I need some dude advice. A friend of mine has been dating his g/f for just over 3 months and they've already bought a place and moved in together. I've been with my g/f for about 6 months and we've never really discussed moving in together. When I suggested to my friend that he may be rushing into things he countered that I was just really slow with relationships. That got me thinking.

So my question is: Is it normal to move in with a girl after 3 months?

How old are you, do you want to settle down, can you handle sharing a place with someone, willing to split bills and chores...
It's all down to what you want and where you're at.

[Satan]

I think six months is a good number, less than that is too quick.

[Archangel]

Took me and the missus about a year.




...Goddamn, has it already been five years?

[Pax Britannia]

How old are you, do you want to settle down, can you handle sharing a place with someone, willing to split bills and chores...
It's all down to what you want and where you're at.

I'm 23 and she's 20. She lives with a roommate and I live alone. We're both quite independent people and we like our own space. I've been contemplating asking her to move in with me, it's just I dont feel the need to press the issue.

My friend thinks it's bizzare that we havent moved in yet. And whilst I think thats probably on the cards for the near future that doesnt change the fact that getting a place with someone after 3 months is folly right?

[Archangel]

Folly indeed. There's no way you know anyone that well after 12 weeks.

[Pax Britannia]

Well thanks for the advice guys, I feel better about my own position but now i'm even more worried for my friend.

[Archangel]

He's been hexed. Burn the witch.

[Pax Britannia]

I'm sure if we did burn her the flesh would merely burn away to reveal a chrome endoskeleton with piercing red eyes.

[Archangel]

I'm sure if we did burn her the flesh would merely brun away to reveal a chrome endoskeleton with piercing red eyes.

Your mate's dating Summer Glau/Kristanna Loken?

Fuck that, in that case, he waited three months too long.

[Pax Britannia]

If she was that insanely hot then I would understand his rashness.

[Archangel]

At first, I read "rashes", and that actually made some sense, too.