Taxes! Bend Over People!

[Claydon]

So, I am starting our tax returns at the moment, and I thought start a thread for we Americans (fuck off euros) to bitch or celebrate our tax returns. Some of you will break even, some of you will get refunds, others like myself will be writing out big checks to our fine government(s).

Let it begin!

[Genius]

I'M ONE OF 3% OF AMERICANS STILL OWED PART OF MY STIMULUS. I'M FUCKING RICH, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

[Da Raider]

I never got any money from the Bush Tax Cuts.

And I sure as hell aint getting any money back from California. Let the raping commence!

[Claydon]

I never got any money from the Bush Tax Cuts.

And I sure as hell aint getting any money back from California. Let the raping commence!

You can expect $13 more per week from obama! <3

A buddy of mine got one of those california IOUs.

[Da Raider]

You can expect $13 more per week from obama! <3

A buddy of mine got one of those california IOUs.

I have never received $ back from the State. Only the Fed. So I don't care about the IOUs. Which should be illegal and everyone who presents some stupid new bill that increases expenditures while we are broke should be fucking shot.

PS - Fuck Able Maldanado

[Claydon]

So, here is what I do not get, do I file a joint return with the wife because we married in august, or do we file single?

[Da Raider]

So, here is what I do not get, do I file a joint return with the wife because we married in august, or do we file single?

you have the option.

[Claydon]

you have the option.

yah.... so for 2009 do we have to file a joint return and therefore be considered 'rich'... i fear we may be bitch slapped by the amt.

[Face]

I'll be getting a refund, I know that much for certain

[Claydon]

GTFO CANADIAN SWINE!

[hatepoppy]

so like, i got my buddy a 10k tax return he just got last week.

he was grateful, to say the least.

[Face]

GTFO CANADIAN SWINE!
I will do no such thing

[Da Raider]

yah.... so for 2009 do we have to file a joint return and therefore be considered 'rich'... i fear we may be bitch slapped by the amt.

Married filing joint

or

Married filing seperate

[Claydon]

so like, i got my buddy a 10k tax return he just got last week.

he was grateful, to say the least.

10 grand? does he have kids or something? He needs to look closely at his witholdings, who the fuck wants to give the government a free loan!?

not me!

[hatepoppy]

10 grand? does he have kids or something? He needs to look closely at his witholdings, who the fuck wants to give the government a free loan!?

not me!
hey buttard, ever hear of a refundable tax credit?

he only worked full time for half the yr, made about 35k, and put in about 3500.

[Da Raider]

hey buttard, ever hear of a refundable tax credit?

he only worked full time for half the yr, made about 35k, and put in about 3500.

can I write off my shit stained underwear?

[hatepoppy]

can I write off my shit stained underwear?
do you dance in them for monetary compensation?

and besides, a write off is soooo not as cool as a refundable credit.

[Claydon]

can I write off my shit stained underwear?

after some of the campaign weirdos on youtube this last cycle, can i write off my gasoline costs? I mean, after all... the vast majority of what I burn is driving to and from work.

[Claydon]

and what is the advantage of filing jointly?

[Claydon]

i think crunch both the numbers and see what looks best in the end.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I'm pretty much done my taxes. I have to finalize everything this weekend. The gov't is gonna give me $7,500 b/c I bought a condo this year but I eventually have to give the money back. Also, it is now a horrible bitch to try and write money off that you gave to charity.

[The GWD]

The title should be "Taxes: where's Dufresne now?"

The best part of tax season is poor people dressed up as lady liberty and uncle sam in the freezing cold advertising.

[Claydon]

I'm pretty much done my taxes. I have to finalize everything this weekend. The gov't is gonna give me $7,500 b/c I bought a condo this year but I eventually have to give the money back. Also, it is now a horrible bitch to try and write money off that you gave to charity.

yah but that $7500 is interest free AND don't you have like 10 years to repay it? Furthermore, I thought that congress was going to say you did not have to pay it back if you stayed in that house for 4 years.

[Claydon]

fuckin-a


we owe several thousands....



WE'RE RICH BIOTCHES!

[Syndicate]

We're seeing this a lot at work so be warned. If you got a stimulus payment last year and you or whoever does your taxes leaves it out of your return or get the amount wrong by even a cent the IRS WILL delay your tax return hardcore. They haven't given a specific date yet but it'll be at least later April. Also, I know the IRS has put a hold on the following forms so if your return requires them be prepared for delays.

Form 3468, Investment Credit
Form 5884-A, Credits for Affected Midwestern Disaster Area Employers
Form 6478, Alcohol and Cellulosic Biofuel Fuels Credit
Form 8820, Orphan Drug Credit
Form 8835, Renewable Electricity Production Credit
Form 8900, Qualified Railroad Track Maintenance Credit
Form 8909, Energy Efficient Appliance Credit

[Archetype]

yah but that $7500 is interest free AND don't you have like 10 years to repay it?
Yeah, but by then Pizz will be 79.

[Syndicate]

and what is the advantage of filing jointly?


If you file that way this year you may qualify for a Recovery Rebate.

See page 61. http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/i1040gi.pdf

[Syndicate]

Speaking taxes in general Kansas is the best this year for the record. The state basically went bankrupt and cannot afford to pay out state returns at all at this time. They have put a hold on all state returns indefinitely. I don't think we have any posters from Kansas that I can think of off hand, but either way I find it hilarious.

[hatepoppy]

yah but that $7500 is interest free AND don't you have like 10 years to repay it? Furthermore, I thought that congress was going to say you did not have to pay it back if you stayed in that house for 4 years.
effective 7/1/09 its up to 8k and repayment is waived if you dont resell within 36 months. those claiming it on their 08 taxes will still have to repay, in the form of a $500 increase in federal liability for the next 15 yrs.

as i understand.

[Phil Theehor]

We're getting back 11K between state and fed this year. None of which is stimulus, you leeching fucks (those who did, I mean).

[Claydon]

interesting, turbo tax spit out two 1040s...even though we are filing joint married.

ummmm.... does this mean we sign both the 1040s?!?! I thought there was suppose to be a signature section for both to sign.

hmmm

[Phil Theehor]

Go to a professional. Every year we've done it, we've received a greater increase in our return than the cost of the service. Plus, even if it's a push, you are giving your money to someone in your community who works for it, as opposed to Uncle Same, who will piss it away.

[Claydon]

doh!

found the problem!

[hatepoppy]

luser error.

[Syndicate]

This year I'm going to write off the 42" flatscreen that I bought because I have a computer connected to it, and I use it for "presentations" at work.

I.E. I watch porn and pirated movies on it.

Totally serious. That the great part about my job here at GMF. I can write off any computer/tech item I buy and say it's for use here at this job. 2 years ago I wrote off my $1,000+ 47" flatscreen jsut liek I am goign to do with the 42" this year.

[Genius]

I want the orphan drug credit. That sounds awesome.

[Genius]

AND I GOT MY MONEY FUCKAS I'MA GONNA GO BUY SOME SHIT!!!

[Claydon]

Done...and DONE!

I hope the single parents, and those irresponsible enough to lose everything because they were living high off of the hog for the last few years will enjoy my tax dollars (this includes auto companies, banks etc).

EAT COCK AND DIE YOU FUCKS!

[Syndicate]

Done...and DONE!

I hope the single parents, and those irresponsible enough to lose everything because they were living high off of the hog for the last few years will enjoy my tax dollars (this includes auto companies, banks etc).

EAT COCK AND DIE YOU FUCKS!

I'm good with my finances/investments and I'm fucking rich ******, but at least I'm not an ass about it DICK. This is why nobody likes you.

[Syndicate]

P.S. I can get you audited. I know your name courtesy of Mongo.

[Claydon]

I'm good with my finances/investments and I'm fucking rich ******, but at least I'm not an ass about it DICK. This is why nobody likes you.

you can get me audited?

you work for the man?

[Syndicate]

you can get me audited?

you work for the man?

Job #2 = Private company that acts as a proxy between Tax Preparers & The IRS. I has access.... I'm just kidding though. Not about you being a Dick, but about you getting audited. I COULD do it, but I value my job. You're not worth getting fired.

[Claydon]

Job #2 = Private company that acts as a proxy between Tax Preparers & The IRS. I has access.... I'm just kidding though. Not about you being a Dick, but about you getting audited. I COULD do it, but I value my job. You're not worth getting fired.

oh...one of those companies.


Your opinion of Turbo Tax?

[hatepoppy]

i hrrd h+r tax cut > turbo tax

[Claydon]

i hrrd h+r tax cut > turbo tax

why

[Syndicate]

oh...one of those companies.


Your opinion of Turbo Tax?


Decent program for simple... SIMPLE returns, but it's audit system is shit if you want to fuck the man in the slightest. TaxCut is WAY better for personal/individual returns. All in all though if you want the most for your money you are better off hitting up a pro just as long as you stay away from bank products. That is how they fuck you. A normal return will not cost you much to get prepared, but if they con you into getting a bank product you pay out the ass just to get your money a week earlier.

[Syndicate]

i hrrd h+r tax cut > turbo tax

Poppy is right like I already said.

[Claydon]

Decent program for simple... SIMPLE returns, but it's audit system is shit if you want to fuck the man in the slightest. TaxCut is WAY better for personal/individual returns. All in all though if you want the most for your money you are better off hitting up a pro just as long as you stay away from bank products. That is how they fuck you. A normal return will not cost you much to get prepared, but if they con you into getting a bank product you pay out the ass just to get your money a week earlier.

This year we basically have zero deductions which SUCKS. If we get a home this year and a few other things happen I will go to my dad's CPA. Not to be stereotyping here but...... there is a 'stein' in the accountants last name.


CHA CHING!

[Syndicate]

The reviews that these programs do on your return are called audits. A good audit system not only catches errors, but also makes suggestions that will improve/heighten your return. The Block's system is way better than Intuit's.

[VoxAngelikus]

I bought a house last year so I get that $7500, too. That brings my return over $14K. That could buy a lot of stuff. Like lottery tickets.

[Summer]

I claimed the home buyer credit too. I filed on January 19th, and got a letter in the mail that my return is being reviewed. Still haven't got refund. Bastards.

[redsox39]

yah but that $7500 is interest free AND don't you have like 10 years to repay it? Furthermore, I thought that congress was going to say you did not have to pay it back if you stayed in that house for 4 years.

Yeah, I bought my house on March 10th. March Fucking 10th. So I do not qualify for that kick ass loan.

[BIG PIZZLE]

$7,500 is gonna get me half a kitchen.

[ricko]

I'm getting money back, bitches...

[Oggie]

So, I'm claiming the Home Buyer Credit too and I desperately need the $10K I'm getting.
My question is, how long is it taking?
Summer, did you get yours yet?

How long are people waiting between filing and check in the mail?
Post!

[janois]

A co-workers dad is a tax guy. I gave him mine around the 10th and my refund was in my account on the 27th.

[Limp]

My $2,300 has been processed and will be in my account this week.

[Summer]

Oggie, No, I haven't got it yet. My refund was around 11,000. I got a letter from the IRS on Feb. 16th. It's a CP-05 notice that said aboslutely nothing except that they had 3 weeks from the date of the letter to either release my refund or request more information.

I am anticipating that on Monday, which will be 3 weeks from the date of the letter, that they will send me another vague notice requesting information that they already have access to.

Don't bother calling, the customer service people at the IRS are asinine and condescending, and are of no help whatsoever. One of them actually told me that I called them 2 weeks ago about this. I was like 'no shit'? You make detailed notes everytime I call, but can't even tell me why my refund is being delayed?

It's a joke. I did find out that the 'where's my fucking refund' feature on their website is updated tonight. I'm hoping that I might get some info then. If not, I'm calling them again Monday, even though I called them last week and they don't like repeating themselves.

[comicfan]

Glad to see Canadians are not the only ones who hate doing taxes..... hate it hate it hate it....

[ElemenoP]

I really like doing my taxes.

[comicfan]

I really like doing my taxes.

You would....

[ElemenoP]

What's that supposed to mean?

[comicfan]

nothing....

[ElemenoP]

Don't you have an emergency room to be in?

[comicfan]

CRAP!!! I knew I forgot to do something today...

[Genius]

So, I'm claiming the Home Buyer Credit too and I desperately need the $10K I'm getting.
My question is, how long is it taking?
Summer, did you get yours yet?

How long are people waiting between filing and check in the mail?
Post!
I got mine direct deposited and it took around 10 days.

In other tax news, as of this week I'm paying 13 less dollars a week to the federal government. I'M FUCKING RICH.

[Claydon]

I got mine direct deposited and it took around 10 days.

In other tax news, as of this week I'm paying 13 less dollars a week to the federal government. I'M FUCKING RICH.

in california that income goes to state income tax.

whoo hoo

[Hodge]

You bitches are gonna be socialist quicker than you think. Go Capitalism!

[Claydon]

You bitches are gonna be socialist quicker than you think. Go Capitalism!

tell me about it.

[Oggie]

Update: From electronic file to check in the mailbox, it took exactly three weeks.
Oggie's got ten grand in the bank!