Dirk Diggler's Relationship, Dating, & Advice Thread-Ruffdog fails

[}{arlequin]

fuck my life
http://forum.gorillamask.net/showthread.php?t=9766

[Gary_Busey]

So I like this girl, and I've found out that she really likes me. The problem is she is going to india for 4 months starting in december. I am wondering if I should ask her out now, or just be cool with her an wait until she gets back. Or maybe do something kinda cheesy like "hey when you get back do you want to go out sometime"?

Suggestions? Im seeing her again next weekend, so I need to think of something by then.
How about you have sex with her until she goes to India, then, have sex with a DIFFERENT girl. That's the key.

[Bill Paxton]

this sounds strangely familiar... are you sure she's not going to Ireland?

Only two girls i've gone out with have left me for ireland.

I have a pretty good feeling about this one because india is a shithole.

[Face]

well best of luck to you then

[Archangel]

There's a fair to middlin' chance that the missus and myself might break up before the year's over.

[mxlplkt]

What the hell did you do now?

[Limp]

She caught him sexin a pair of Jordans again.

[Limp]

I think it was Frank and Joe this time...

http://www.thejordanbrothers.net/images/flyer_willow_lake.jpg

[mxlplkt]

Do you get to take the picnic tables home as a valuable parting gift?

[Limp]

I took the parking, I have enough tables.

[Archangel]

What the hell did you do now?

I have trouble not being right, and she has trouble listening.


Bad combination.

We are working on it, though, and there may be still a chance.

[kid_vidrio]

I have trouble not being right, and she has trouble listening.

They all have selective hearing.
As Abe Lincoln used to say 'It doesn't hurt me at all, and it does Mary a world of good.'
My old man applied that to everything from entertaining to being right.
Until a guy can get over that aspect of a relationship, at least with regard to the modern 'equal footing' relationship, there is little chance of going the distance with anyone that isn't so meek that you wouldn't be in a relationship with her in the first place.

If you want the nookie, bite thy tongue. Any bird that lets you hang out as much as you do in an online forum must have some merit.

[Archangel]

Nah, it's not that she won't do the dishes or some such; it's that every type of criticism, no matter how constructive it may be, is automatically taken as an affront. Every time I tell her how something would be done better in a certain way (even when she fucking SEEKS OUT my advice), she, instead of EVER saying, "you know what? You've got a point there", instantly turns around and tells me about some obscure instance years ago when I did something remotely similar.

The thing is, she bloody well knows that I'm right.

I don't know, like, she has trouble finding a topic for her paper. I tell her that she works too much with secondary literature, and should instead focus on the actual work itself, because she accumulates too much knowledge without being able to focus it: Instead of acknowledging that that is some sound advice, she'd go off about how that's not true, gives me a million reasons why it's better her way, and that at any rate, I did the same thing on a paper two years ago. All very loudly. SICILIAN loudly.

And the next day, she takes all the secondary lit back to the library, and starts reading the book.


Drives me up the fucking wall. She has to fucking understand that I love her and want what's best for her, not try to force my will or even my personality on her.

It's the fucking justifying EVERYTHING that gets me the most, though. "Honey, why did you drop that glass?", in our home, is the beginning of an hour-long screaming match on how I have no right to criticise her for dropping something, and why she HAD to drop it.

[NOTKyle]

Has it always been that way, or was there a time when you guys put your conflicting personalities aside?

[redsox39]

Has it always been that way, or was there a time when you guys put your conflicting personalities aside?

Almost all relationships have the "let's just drop it and fuck stage"...the key is keeping that going...

This is the Key reason I have children...We argue a lot...

[feith]

i possibly have the lowest self esteem ever...
or i'm just insane, but basically if i don't maintain normalcy(sp?) with my boyfriend I start to convince myself that something is wrong and he’s going to break up with me.

Example:
He goes to school about and hour away from me, and I don’t have a car so every weekend I take the train after work to his apartment as well as ever Wednesday but I said I couldn’t come today because the Phillies might be clinching the Pennant tonight and I want to be in Philadelphia for it if it does. Which is complete legit reasoning. But I feel like he doesn’t really understand because he doesn’t even care for the Phillies and he’s been pretty short with me since I told him I wasn’t coming today, basically I’m ranting because I’m insane.

Any opinions?

[Tar Heel]

Nah, it's not that she won't do the dishes or some such; it's that every type of criticism, no matter how constructive it may be, is automatically taken as an affront. Every time I tell her how something would be done better in a certain way (even when she fucking SEEKS OUT my advice), she, instead of EVER saying, "you know what? You've got a point there", instantly turns around and tells me about some obscure instance years ago when I did something remotely similar.

The thing is, she bloody well knows that I'm right.

I don't know, like, she has trouble finding a topic for her paper. I tell her that she works too much with secondary literature, and should instead focus on the actual work itself, because she accumulates too much knowledge without being able to focus it: Instead of acknowledging that that is some sound advice, she'd go off about how that's not true, gives me a million reasons why it's better her way, and that at any rate, I did the same thing on a paper two years ago. All very loudly. SICILIAN loudly.

And the next day, she takes all the secondary lit back to the library, and starts reading the book.


Drives me up the fucking wall. She has to fucking understand that I love her and want what's best for her, not try to force my will or even my personality on her.

It's the fucking justifying EVERYTHING that gets me the most, though. "Honey, why did you drop that glass?", in our home, is the beginning of an hour-long screaming match on how I have no right to criticise her for dropping something, and why she HAD to drop it.

The Happiest marriages are the ones where the man can create the illusion of the woman being right most of the time.

[Tar Heel]

i possibly have the lowest self esteem ever...
or i'm just insane, but basically if i don't maintain normalcy(sp?) with my boyfriend I start to convince myself that something is wrong and he’s going to break up with me.

Example:
He goes to school about and hour away from me, and I don’t have a car so every weekend I take the train after work to his apartment as well as ever Wednesday but I said I couldn’t come today because the Phillies might be clinching the Pennant tonight and I want to be in Philadelphia for it if it does. Which is complete legit reasoning. But I feel like he doesn’t really understand because he doesn’t even care for the Phillies and he’s been pretty short with me since I told him I wasn’t coming today, basically I’m ranting because I’m insane.

Any opinions?

Break up with the loser. Come to NC. Let Tar Heel make everything right.

EDIT: But post your tits first.

[Candycane]

Nah, it's not that she won't do the dishes or some such; it's that every type of criticism, no matter how constructive it may be, is automatically taken as an affront. Every time I tell her how something would be done better in a certain way (even when she fucking SEEKS OUT my advice), she, instead of EVER saying, "you know what? You've got a point there", instantly turns around and tells me about some obscure instance years ago when I did something remotely similar.

The thing is, she bloody well knows that I'm right.

I don't know, like, she has trouble finding a topic for her paper. I tell her that she works too much with secondary literature, and should instead focus on the actual work itself, because she accumulates too much knowledge without being able to focus it: Instead of acknowledging that that is some sound advice, she'd go off about how that's not true, gives me a million reasons why it's better her way, and that at any rate, I did the same thing on a paper two years ago. All very loudly. SICILIAN loudly.

And the next day, she takes all the secondary lit back to the library, and starts reading the book.


Drives me up the fucking wall. She has to fucking understand that I love her and want what's best for her, not try to force my will or even my personality on her.

It's the fucking justifying EVERYTHING that gets me the most, though. "Honey, why did you drop that glass?", in our home, is the beginning of an hour-long screaming match on how I have no right to criticise her for dropping something, and why she HAD to drop it.


Just for 1 minute put yourself in her shoes, does it feel like maybe you are coming off as bossy? And seriously Paul, if that is your biggest problem and what you two argue about, be thankful and kiss her.

[Archangel]

Has it always been that way, or was there a time when you guys put your conflicting personalities aside?
Pretty much always; and it's not so much an issue of conflicting personalities as it's her putting on this ridiculous emancipated Prussian act when she, at heart, is a quintessential Italian woman.
She sees her mother being happy what she is, and yet, for some strange reason, wants to be somebody totally different. And it's just so fucking FAKE.
For example, she is an incredibly friendly, open, out-going person. I'm not: I bloody hate pretty much everybody, while everybody loves her. Now there's to be this tender for a doctorate programme; I want to get in, and the fact of the matter is that she is much better with people than she is with books, even though she's very well read. So when we get our MA's, she would be better off getting a job where she is around people, not locked up in some library for another three years. She knows that as well as I do.
But the second I suggest that, I'm denigrating her and insulting her intelligence as a woman in academia and all that shit. I mean, wtf.
The Happiest marriages are the ones where the man can create the illusion of the woman being right most of the time.
From your lips to God's ear, mate.

[}{arlequin]

Any opinions?
he's an idiot if he doesn't get it. forget your self esteem... seems like he is insecure b/c he won't get to see you. how about he gets his ass over to your area to hang out and watch the game instead?

btw,
d.c. is only one more hour of travel time for you. head south...

[Candycane]

Hey and feith it's hard if someone doesn't understand your passions, it's hard for him to get in your mindset. How long have you two been together?

[Archangel]

Just for 1 minute put yourself in her shoes, does it feel like maybe you are coming off as bossy? And seriously Paul, if that is your biggest problem and what you two argue about, be thankful and kiss her.

I am a pretty dominant personality. I am aware of that. But I dunno, maybe it's her being the younger sister: Even when I really try to be subtle, she always gets defensive. At most suggestions.

The problem is that she has to understand that I love her and would never say these things in order to oppress her, denigrate her, ridicule her, or whatever: The fact that she act as though I were, however, sheds a light on the whole thing which isn't pretty.

[Da Raider]

So I like this girl, and I've found out that she really likes me. The problem is she is going to india for 4 months starting in december. I am wondering if I should ask her out now, or just be cool with her an wait until she gets back. Or maybe do something kinda cheesy like "hey when you get back do you want to go out sometime"?

Suggestions? Im seeing her again next weekend, so I need to think of something by then.

If she's going back there for 4 months, there's a damn good chance that she's getting married (arrainged) to some guy she doesn't even know or barely knows. oh well. Too bad, so sad.

[Candycane]

I am a pretty dominant personality. I am aware of that. But I dunno, maybe it's her being the younger sister: Even when I really try to be subtle, she always gets defensive. At most suggestions.

The problem is that she has to understand that I love her and would never say these things in order to oppress her, denigrate her, ridicule her, or whatever: The fact that she act as though I were, however, sheds a light on the whole thing which isn't pretty.


From everything I know of you two, it seems like honestly a minor thing that you shouldn't get so upset about. neither one of you can truly change the core of who you are.You can change habits and quirks and routines but not the "Self" in you. I have found in my experiences that is is really hard to find that perfect home made chocolate chip cookie recipe. Sometimes you find a pretty good one and sometimes really horrible ones. But when you find the right amount of chips, brown sugar and butter ...that is the recipe you hold onto and put in a safe place for keeping forever.

[Archangel]

From everything I know of you two, it seems like honestly a minor thing that you shouldn't get so upset about. neither one of you can truly change the core of who you are.You can change habits and quirks and routines but not the "Self" in you. I have found in my experiences that is is really hard to find that perfect home made chocolate chip cookie recipe. Sometimes you find a pretty good one and sometimes really horrible ones. But when you find the right amount of chips, brown sugar and butter ...that is the recipe you hold onto and put in a safe place for keeping forever.

Yeah, but imagine that it's 99% perfect, but there's this barely perceptible aftertaste. Most of the time, you don't even notice it, but when you, say, eat too many of them, it makes you fucking gag.

It sounds like a small thing, but I'm honestly getting the feeling that I can't tell her anything anymore. Some people might put up with that, but the fact of the matter is that I'm a pretty clever bloke, and thus think that my ideas usually have some merit.

[Candycane]

Okay, sounds like you have your mind made up.

[Banon]

i possibly have the lowest self esteem ever...
or i'm just insane, but basically if i don't maintain normalcy(sp?) with my boyfriend I start to convince myself that something is wrong and he’s going to break up with me.

Example:
He goes to school about and hour away from me, and I don’t have a car so every weekend I take the train after work to his apartment as well as ever Wednesday but I said I couldn’t come today because the Phillies might be clinching the Pennant tonight and I want to be in Philadelphia for it if it does. Which is complete legit reasoning. But I feel like he doesn’t really understand because he doesn’t even care for the Phillies and he’s been pretty short with me since I told him I wasn’t coming today, basically I’m ranting because I’m insane.

Any opinions?


The major problem in relationships from my point of view is that women try to "maintain normalcy". Let shit go, stop worrying all the time and enjoy life. Be confident in who you are and the shit you like and fuck whoever has a problem with you or you wanting to be home for the Phillies game.

Oh and if you want to boost your self esteem post your tits.

[Archangel]

Okay, sounds like you have your mind made up.

I really don't, actually.


But, I mean, is wanting someone to say "you're right" every once in a while, and only when I'm actually am, really so much to ask?

[Da Raider]

I am a pretty dominant personality. I am aware of that. But I dunno, maybe it's her being the younger sister: Even when I really try to be subtle, she always gets defensive. At most suggestions.

The problem is that she has to understand that I love her and would never say these things in order to oppress her, denigrate her, ridicule her, or whatever: The fact that she act as though I were, however, sheds a light on the whole thing which isn't pretty.

PATIENCE - that is the key. You want to point out things to improve the situation, and you might very well be out of the goodness of your heart. But as you mentioned, between your always needing to be right and her natural reaction being getting defensive is a bad combination. I know, I've been there too. That's why you need to practice patience. Patience in pointing out that she did something wrong and that your way is better. Your analysis could be correct, but before you open your mouth, you need to think to yourself "Is it worth it to just blurt things out?". "Is there a better way to phrase what I am about to say?". "Does she really want my advice on how to improve things or is she just venting/wants to share her feeling with me?". Men, especially those with dominant personalities, we want to jump in, show that we know what the hell we are talking about and fix problems. We don't mean harm, but if our ladies take immediate offense, either we are going about it the wrong way, or they are extrememly defensive. Possibly, she's stubborn and has to come to these decisions on her own anyway, regardless of what you say. Either way, we lose. That is why I say to practice patience. You like to always be right? In reality you might nearly always be right. But at what cost?

[Candycane]

I really don't, actually.


But, I mean, is wanting someone to say "you're right" every once in a while, and only when I'm actually am, really so much to ask?


I personally think you're being silly and making too big of a deal about being "right", that's not what life, love and relationships are about. And for you to be right so much you should already know this.

[Archangel]

Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?


Yeah, that's pretty much the question here.

The funny thing is, the answer could be so much simpler for her if she dropped that stupid fucking bluestocking act.

[Candycane]

Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?


Yeah, that's pretty much the question here.

The funny thing is, the answer could be so much simpler for her if she dropped that stupid fucking bluestocking act.


Take one step outside the condo you call yourself and look how stubborn you're being.

[Archangel]

Take one step outside the condo you call yourself and look how stubborn you're being.

Maybe, but seriously, it feels like shit to basically not bother anymore to give the one you love a piece of advice, to be scared of her reactions to any type of criticism, or to dread what may come when you ask her for the reasons for what she's doing.

Stubborn or not, what do you suggest I do?

[feith]

candycane - 6 months ish i don't even know if it about 'understanding passions' its more because as a person I will close to always go out of my way to help other people or just to put a smile on someones face and lately I’ve been getting really fed up that everyone else in this world seems to not care about anyone but themselves and I think I’m taking it out on him because I’m closest to him, who knows..

tar heel – I’ll see what I can do

}{ - I only use septa trains and they don’t goto DC sorry!

Banon- I think that was the first time I ever saw you actually be nice and not sarcastic about something.
You’re the Best Banon! =)

[Banon]

Maybe, but seriously, it feels like shit to basically not bother anymore to give the one you love a piece of advice, to be scared of her reactions to any type of criticism, or to dread what may come when you ask her for the reasons for what she's doing.

Stubborn or not, what do you suggest I do?


watch the note book.

[}{arlequin]

}{ - I only use septa trains and they don’t goto DC sorry!


i still think you're too easy going w/ this person. if he wants it so bad, he should be the one going back and forth to get it, instead of you going there and practically 'delivering' the goods to him.

he's got himself a sweet deal

[Limp]

Arch and I have the same problem with our woman... lulz.

[Da Raider]

Maybe, but seriously, it feels like shit to basically not bother anymore to give the one you love a piece of advice, to be scared of her reactions to any type of criticism, or to dread what may come when you ask her for the reasons for what she's doing.

Stubborn or not, what do you suggest I do?

Being patient and resisting the urge to chime in with your two cents is not being scared of her reactions (it can be for some, but not for people like you or me). You have to realize the possibility that you are pointing out these things for selfish reasons; To show that you are right; To show that you know things. Being smart, well read, able to debate are all entirely desireable things, that being said, it you are using them for selfish reasons with the person you love, it doesn't matter. It's obvious that you cannot change your girl's ways. She's defensive and it appears stubborn, too. You can only work on yourself. It's not easy, but I came to the realization that I had to (make that still have to) work on it too. Like CC said, think about it from her perspective. Her perspective is not, "Oh, Paul just pointed out how I was doing something wrong. Now I know what is wrong, I'll correct it. Yeah!". It's more like "My man is attacking me and thinks everything that I do is wrong.".

It's not easy. It's hard. I fight it all the time. Again, like CC said, you can't change the "core" of you. But even little changes can do a world of good. Not out of fear or resentment, but out of maturation and development of your relationship. You proposed to this woman, I assume that she is worth it to you.

[Banon]

if baby jesus had a pussy I'd fuck him.

[Da Raider]

It easy to write what someone should be doing and what other's faults are. It's hard to realize what your own faults are, what you should be doing to improve them and most importantly, to actually follow thru on that. Trust me, I fail just as much (if not more) on the last one.

[Archangel]

Raider is one wise mother fucker.


Thanks, guys, it helped a lot.

[Archangel]

Hoever:

Like CC said, think about it from her perspective. Her perspective is not, "Oh, Paul just pointed out how I was doing something wrong. Now I know what is wrong, I'll correct it. Yeah!". It's more like "My man is attacking me and thinks everything that I do is wrong.".

Maybe I'm just too rational a human being, but why would a reasonable person think some daft shit like that?

[ShitBreak]

Raider just made Dr. Phil his bitch.

That was really good advice, because, unfortunately, after reading through this shit...I'm WAAAAY too much like Arch.

[Archangel]

I'm WAAAAY too much like Arch.

Dude.


I'm emo enough as it fucking is. That's just harsh, to kick a man when he's down like that.

[ShitBreak]

Dude.


I'm emo enough as it fucking is. That's just harsh, to kick a man when he's down like that.

Yeah...try living with THAT one now.

[Archangel]

Thank God for the firearms ban in Germany.

[The Dude]

Arch:

I would agree with raider on a lot of points as far as your own motives for pointing out various things.

One of the examples you used though, the one about dropping the glass in particular, while i realize was an example is a perfect example of when to keep your mouth shut. nobody means to drop a glass, so its really stupid and ultimately selfish and belittling to ask someone why they dropped the glass.

I'll take CC's and raider's points a step further and use some what of a hybrid...rather than pointing out her faults or giving constructive criticism that involves her making a change (even if its a necessary and positive one), look to phrase things in a way that makes it a team effort, a common goal that you can both work toward so that it doesn't seem as if "I'm perfect and you are the one that needs to change."

I certainly don't think that's how the conversations go, but the other key element is that perception is reality. Regardless of how rational or logical you think your advice/criticism may be, as CC said, you have to think about how she percieves it, not how you intend it to come across.

The biggest fundamental flaw from what you described is that the confrontations (and discussion) only happen in the moment. The situation is exacerbated by the fact that you two are clearly not on the same page. 95% of all relationship issues arise when the participants aren't on the same page. This is easily solved by having clear, direct, open communication. When you're on the same page, there's rarely conflict.

My advice would be to sit down at a time when you are both happy and in a pleasant mood and have an open dialogue and get to the same page. It's very important that no one take an accusatory tone and that there is no finger pointing or assigning of blame. You need to (if she is what you want) make it absolutely clear that you are 100% commited and want to do everything that you can to contribute to a healthy relationship. Then talk about things that you can both do together so that it really is a bilateral partnership, that one person doesn't feel the brunt of the responsibility for making things work, and that you both ultimately can get to where you want to be knowing that you did it together. At the end of the day, use it as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship not destroy it.

Remember, perception is reality.


-Dirk

[Archangel]

Yeah, that example with the glass was really stupid, now that I think about it. Still, excellent stuff there. Thanks, man.

[Tar Heel]

My bitch loves it when I butt rape her after an argument.

[Banon]

she sounds like a hot whore.

[Tar Heel]

Yeah. She has huge tits and a self lubricating rectal cavity.

[Banon]

does she have a twin sister?

[Archangel]

My bitch loves it when I butt rape her after an argument.

Mine doesn't. :(

[The Dude]

a little more...

I struggled for a long time with being "happy" because I was always dwelling on stuff that already happened. I would brood, stew, and be pissed at someone (or myself) because either they fucked up or I did and I couldn't let it go. For a long time it was always about "being right" and ultimately assigning blame to someone (including myself) and then I wouldn't mentally let go of it.

The problem, obviously, is that there is not a person on earth who can change a single fucking thing that happened in the past...it already happened. What I had to do, and what has made me a far better person; more pleasant, less stressed, even to the point where I enjoy being me, is that I learned to not spend so much time and energy being pissed off and assigning blame.

When something happens (an issue comes up) rather than saying, "you fucking screwed up...again", look at things more pragmatically...meaning, "ok, we're here, it happened, how do we move forward to positive resolution?" I got so caught up worrying about being right and pointing the finger that I could never move past anything, and thus nothing ever got truly resolved in my mind.

The glass example works great here...rather than saying "Why did you drop the glass?" you should say "can I help you clean that up?" (The key there is the offer, not the act, though you certainly have to be willing if she accepts)

My "epiphany" (call it what you will) was about 3 years ago. One of the things that dwelling on the past does is to make you feel isolated and alone, like you're the only one who "gets it" or "understands the problem." Ultimately, that sort of thinking just makes the situation worse, especially when you are vocal about your finger pointing. You go from trying to resolve the issue to having the same argument that you've had 1000 times about who's fault it is.

Since I changed my thinking, I'm literally a new person. I'm much more pleasant to be around, much more social, and I'm not fucking depressed over things that I really have no control over.

By no means am I saying that people can't learn from mistakes nor am I advocating apathy. What I am saying though, is that the most important thing to do is not to spend time figuring out who fucked up, because figuring out who fucked up doesn't resolve anything; but to spend that time working together toward positive resolution.

Not only does that help to resolve things quickly instead of making them worse before they get better, but it also keeps whomever is actually at fault from feeling any worse than they already do.


You can't spend all your time and energy worrying about the small stuff that you really can't control anyway.

In the words of the immortal Sean Carter, "You gotta get...that...dirt off your shoulder"

-Dirk

[ruffdog]

can i borrow someones gun

[}{arlequin]

can i borrow someones gun
there are other girls in this world you know...

[ruffdog]

thats a lie and you know it!

[bones12]

The glass example works great here...rather than saying "Why did you drop the glass?" you should say "can I help you clean that up?" (The key there is the offer, not the act, though you certainly have to be willing if she accepts)

You're still implying she did something wrong (blame) by breaking the glass in that example.

You just go clean up the glass.

All of this boils down to: Men are born fixers, and women are born wanting to be listened to, and aren't exactly seeking mans advice even if it's phrased specifically, "I need some advice". What to do, what to do.

[}{arlequin]

thats a lie and you know it!
yeah yeah, i know... there will never be another one like her. she is was the best. no one can ever replace her. waaaah!!!

the truth is, until you're married, pretty much all of us are just a phone call away from being single. accept it and you'll be much happier b/c you won't have such a single-minded outlook

[ruffdog]

you just made the list

[Archangel]

Okay, good news, for us at least. We're not breaking up anytime soon. We've invested too much in this to let it go to shit over something that's relatively easily corrected.

[Limp]

You killed her didn't you?

[}{arlequin]

arch had to put on the apron

[Archangel]

Yeah, I'm posting from a storm drain; her Sicilian relatives are looking for me, with lupare locked and cocked.

[Archangel]

arch had to put on the apron

NEVAR

[NOTKyle]

Okay, good news, for us at least. We're not breaking up anytime soon. We've invested too much in this to let it go to shit over something that's relatively easily corrected.

That's good. I'm glad you're not getting a divorce, at your age you'd never find a new love partner.

[Archangel]

WE'RE NOT MARRIED YET.


But yeah, at damn near 30, who the fuck wants you anymore? Unless you're rich, that is.

Which I'm not.

[Limp]

Rich is pretty sexy... but I thought he was more my age...

[NOTKyle]

Not with that attitude.

[Archangel]

Not with that attitude.

Or, I could murder my parents, and be reasonably wealthy.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Crap... night before last I had a long talk with a girl who was interested in me but in a long term relationship with a dude, and I made it clear to her that she wasn't what I'm looking for, and that she should try and work it out with him or find someone else that could make her happy.

Well I get a text tonight saying she broke up with her boyfriend and was wanting to know exactly what it is I'm looking for so she can be it.

Ain't life a bitch.

[Gary_Busey]

Crap... night before last I had a long talk with a girl who was interested in me but in a long term relationship with a dude, and I made it clear to her that she wasn't what I'm looking for, and that she should try and work it out with him or find someone else that could make her happy.

Well I get a text tonight saying she broke up with her boyfriend and was wanting to know exactly what it is I'm looking for so she can be it.

Ain't life a bitch.
To answer her question, 'whore'.

[White.Rabbit]

fuck her until she's crippled then laugh in her dumb face and kick her ass outcha house

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

You were abused as a child weren't you?

[Le Goat]

god i hope so

[White.Rabbit]

You were abused as a child weren't you?
and what if I said yes?

[Le Goat]

and what if I said yes?

DETAILS

[White.Rabbit]

I wasn't abused. I just had a fucked up childhood. It wasn't so much abuse as it was neglect.

[Le Goat]

So you got raped by either an Uncle or ballplayer at school... hmm...

[White.Rabbit]

ew.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

You all are very helpful.

[Jericho]

You all are very helpful.
Dude, you already said you aren't into her, and judging by the text you got and the rash decision she made, I'm guessing she's really a bit unstable to boot. Move on,man. This one......is not good for you

[Bill Paxton]

So im going to the going away party of the girl I really like tonight. Shes going out of the country for 4-6 months.

I need to make some sort of move and i dont want to wait until she gets back.

[Jericho]

So im going to the going away party of the girl I really like tonight. Shes going out of the country for 4-6 months.

I need to make some sort of move and i dont want to wait until she gets back.
Sounds like Dick in a Box time for one lucky lady

[Bill Paxton]

Sounds like Dick in a Box time for one lucky lady

Now to find a box thats big enough...

[Menace2Sobriety]

Crap... night before last I had a long talk with a girl who was interested in me but in a long term relationship with a dude, and I made it clear to her that she wasn't what I'm looking for, and that she should try and work it out with him or find someone else that could make her happy.

Well I get a text tonight saying she broke up with her boyfriend and was wanting to know exactly what it is I'm looking for so she can be it.

Ain't life a bitch.So what's the play here?

[Menace2Sobriety]

Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?


Yeah, that's pretty much the question here.

The funny thing is, the answer could be so much simpler for her if she dropped that stupid fucking bluestocking act.
Tragically, I will never be happy backing down from that kind of position. That's the way it is.

[Archangel]

I know what you mean.

[Rover]

Crap... night before last I had a long talk with a girl who was interested in me but in a long term relationship with a dude, and I made it clear to her that she wasn't what I'm looking for, and that she should try and work it out with him or find someone else that could make her happy.

Well I get a text tonight saying she broke up with her boyfriend and was wanting to know exactly what it is I'm looking for so she can be it.

Ain't life a bitch.Are you sure she broke up with her boyfriend? Bitches can be sneaky like that. Also, if you aren't into her, you aren't into her. It's not your problem she's thrown her life into chaos over you. She sounds unstable, or 14. Which might be the same thing.

[Bill Paxton]

So im going to the going away party of the girl I really like tonight. Shes going out of the country for 4-6 months.

I need to make some sort of move and i dont want to wait until she gets back.

Asked her out, shes totally down. Now I just need to wait 4-6 months, and then BAM! Payoff!

[Face]

follow her to india, that'll totally get her into you!

[Bill Paxton]

follow her to india, that'll totally get her into you!

That would be a great surprise!

[Face]

when you get there, you should dress like the love guru, everyone will think you're totally clever and awesome

[Bill Paxton]

I am totally clever and awesome. I don't need the genius of Mike Myers to demonstrate that.

[Face]

oh no doubt, but every little bit helps

[NOTKyle]

Asked her out, shes totally down. Now I just need to wait 4-6 months, and then BAM! Payoff!

You're really going to regret this when in 4-6 months you find out this girls breath smells like curry and sweat 22 hours a day.

[Bill Paxton]

You're really going to regret this when in 4-6 months you find out this girls breath smells like curry and sweat 22 hours a day.


That'll go away eventually

[White.Rabbit]

curry bj...spicy.

[ruffdog]

I love my life

WUT WUT

[}{arlequin]

pics?

[ruffdog]

nah...you should have asked me like last week

we back together now lulz

[Face]

I give it a week before ruffy fucks it up

[Archangel]

Over/under?

[ruffdog]

we'll see

[mongo]

i wonder how many dudes she's fucked over the last week. i'm gonna guess 8.

[ruffdog]

0

[}{arlequin]

0
you've got some learning ahead of you

[ruffdog]

shaddapa u face

[}{arlequin]

so, give us the dirt. did you crawl back and she took you in? on her terms?

or she did she realize she can milk some more out of you in the meantime?

[ruffdog]

so, give us the dirt. did you crawl back and she took you in? on her terms?

or she did she realize she can milk some more out of you in the meantime?

took me a good 4 days of crawling back, yeah her terms (keep my dick in my pants around other girls)

[}{arlequin]

now she owns you. i suggest re-watching some chris rock standup to see how it's gonna pan out for you

[ruffdog]

damnit

[Blitz]

So I have this friend who is recently separated and she likes this guy who is going through a separation as well. He has told a friend of hers that he likes her as well. The problem is, he has not said anything to her and it's been over a month since they established their fondness for one another. They see each other regularly as they cross paths at work sometimes. They don't work together, but their jobs bring them together once in awhile. He constantly asks questions about her and has expressed interest on several occasions.

My guess is his situation, at home, is not quite finished or he just needs to grow a set of balls.

What's gives? Should she move on? Maybe she should approach him? Hmmm....sometimes it's better if a woman lets a man chase her though. Perhaps she should fondle his penis, through his pants, one day when they meet again at work. You know, see what happens.

What should she do? What's up with this guy?

[Gary_Busey]

She should probably do nothing and just wonder about it all the time, then forget about it and move on, then later find out he wanted her and think about what could have been.

[Philip Lombard]

Some guys are pretty dense when it comes to signals. Maybe he doesn't know she's interested. She should be more overt. Make physical contact. Maybe even casually suggest they should have drinks some time.

[Penguin Rick]

He seems kind of shy. Tell her to take control.

[Blitz]

Control. Mmmmmm...

[mongo]

There's a fair to middlin' chance that the missus and myself might break up before the year's over.

so, are ya single?

[Archangel]

No.

[mongo]

*takes a dozen roses back to the store to get refund*

[Face]

No.
damn, I lost a bet

[ShitBreak]

So...what's some good alternatives to the normal dinner-and-a-movie date?

[Pax Britannia]

Just go to a bar and get hammered.

[Jack Bauer]

Just go to a bar and get hammered.

then you can take her in the toliets and bang her senseless

[mongo]

So...what's some good alternatives to the normal dinner-and-a-movie date?

duct tape and rape.

[ShitBreak]

Honestly...i thought about it.

But everytime I hang with this girl, thats where we are at. The bar drinking, or at our buddies house drinking. I've still only hung with her for one night when we didn't drink a ton.

[Pax Britannia]

then you can take her in the toliets and bang her senseless

Thats how it's done in the British Isles.

[mongo]

Honestly...i thought about it.

But everytime I hang with this girl, thats where we are at. The bar drinking, or at our buddies house drinking. I've still only hung with her for one night when we didn't drink a ton.

and what the fuck is wrong w/ that? she's gonna have to be blitzed if she's gonna fuck your folds.

[Le Goat]

Thats how it's done in the British Isles.

Hooligans!

[ShitBreak]

and what the fuck is wrong w/ that? she's gonna have to be blitzed if she's gonna fuck your folds.

Even when you are being mean....doesn't mean you aren't being right.

[Jack Bauer]

Hooligans!

best way into a girls pants...get her pissed and ask her if the rag your holding smells like chloroform

[NOTKyle]

So...what's some good alternatives to the normal dinner-and-a-movie date?

The zoo. Ladies fucking love it when you take 'em to the zoo.

And it's educational!

[Banon]

Mike, the Banonster has no problems offering you solid advice but I must see this heiferrena you call a girlfriend before doing so.

[Pax Britannia]

Ro ro rohypnol
stick it in her drink
knees up, trousers down
put it in her stink

[ShitBreak]

The zoo. Ladies fucking love it when you take 'em to the zoo.

And it's educational!

This is interesting. Although I have not been to the zoo is at least 10 years.

[Le Goat]

Fucking ******* of Europe, I swear...

[Pax Britannia]

This is interesting. Although I have not been to the zoo is at least 10 years.

Are your afraid that zoo's may have changed in the past 10 years? Dont worry they dont let lions roam the parking lot.

Although you can lock eyes with the resident silver back gorilla ignoring the numerous caution signs warning you not to. Dont worry his spirit is too broken by his life time of imprisonment to break from his confines and batter you to death in front of the young lady.

[BIG PIZZLE]

So...what's some good alternatives to the normal dinner-and-a-movie date?

It depends on what the fuck there is to do in Oklahoma. Think about things that you want to do and then think about whether or not someone with a vagina would also be interested.

[NOTKyle]

This is interesting. Although I have not been to the zoo is at least 10 years.

I'm telling you it's perfect. If you guys are hitting it off you can chit chat forever because it can be quiet if you want it to be, and obviously there's more conversation than at a movie. And if things are awkward/aren't going well you can EASILY make small talk about monkey poop/rhino sex/elephant penis size.

Plus its affordable.

[Jericho]

Just point at the walrus and say "At least I'm not that"

[BIG PIZZLE]

Koo Koo kachoo!

[ShitBreak]

It depends on what the fuck there is to do in Oklahoma. Think about things that you want to do and then think about whether or not someone with a vagina would also be interested.

There isn't shit to do here. Well, there'd be more, but it's fucking cold. I think it's supposed to snow Wednesday...so there might not be a whole lot of options.

I'm thinking she comes over, we watch a funny movie, we get drunk, and then I eat her asshole.

[Limp]

"her" = "him" in Oklahomo?

[JT]

There isn't shit to do here. Well, there'd be more, but it's fucking cold. I think it's supposed to snow Wednesday...so there might not be a whole lot of options.

I'm thinking she comes over, we watch a funny movie, we get drunk, and then I eat her asshole.

You've never fucked her?

[BIG PIZZLE]

There isn't shit to do here. Well, there'd be more, but it's fucking cold. I think it's supposed to snow Wednesday...so there might not be a whole lot of options.

I'm thinking she comes over, we watch a funny movie, we get drunk, and then I eat her asshole.

Dude, you suck.
Gize pls hlp

Let me put you up on some game..

Wahhh, I cant do that because I suck.

Fuck you, loser.

[ShitBreak]

No. This will be the first time we are actually like...alone. Plus, she is still kinda seeing a guy. So I'm in a situation that I'm not normally in.

[BIG PIZZLE]

You are perpetually in the situation of suck.

[JT]

All you do is drink when you hangout with her but you've never fucked her. That just does not compute.

[ShitBreak]

Well then fucking go, Pizz. Show me the way.

[Jericho]

No. This will be the first time we are actually like...alone. Plus, she is still kinda seeing a guy. So I'm in a situation that I'm not normally in.
What're you,11? Shut the fuck up and get out there and be somebody!

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Your dick goes in the wet hole.

Any way you get it in there short of rape is success.

Stop bitching and go sink a dick in a stinkhole.

[ShitBreak]

Fuck it. I'mma go old school on her.

Break out some nice booze, turn the fire on, and fucking pop in Purple Rain.

[Rover]

So...what's some good alternatives to the normal dinner-and-a-movie date?I like the zoo idea. Also, take her to shoot skeet or something else that involves shooting a gun. Girls like to shoot guns. It will make you seem manly. I'm assuming that being from OK you've got a gun rack in your truck.

Fuck it. I'mma go old school on her.

Break out some nice booze, turn the fire on, and fucking pop in Purple Rain.Never mind. Go with this idea. I'm sure you become her new gay best friend.

[ShitBreak]

I like the zoo idea. Also, take her to shoot skeet or something else that involves shooting a gun. Girls like to shoot guns. It will make you seem manly. I'm assuming that being from OK you've got a gun rack in your truck.


I don't own a truck, and the only guns I've shot are paint ball guns and BB-guns.

Fuck it. I'm just gonna pull the Naked Man. I'm out of options, and I need to get laid by something that actually doesn't weigh more than me.

[Banon]

I don't own a truck, and the only guns I've shot are paint ball guns and BB-guns.

Fuck it. I'm just gonna pull the Naked Man. I'm out of options, and I need to get laid by something that actually doesn't weigh more than me.


Buy some knee high rubber boots, put the sheeps back legs and your feet in the boots. Pull out your cock, stick it in the sheeps twat.

[The Dude]

So...what's some good alternatives to the normal dinner-and-a-movie date?

Ballet, Theatre, Symphony, aquari---oh wait...in Tulsa? shit man, i dunno...

[Jericho]

Rodeo!

[Jericho]

Cow tipping?

[mongo]

just ask her at the beginning of the night what you need to do to get in her pants. i've flat out asked girls if we're gonna fuck before the nights over a few times. it usually works.

[ShitBreak]

We'll go to the Oklahoma Aquarium!

[Candycane]

There isn't shit to do here. Well, there'd be more, but it's fucking cold. I think it's supposed to snow Wednesday...so there might not be a whole lot of options.

I'm thinking she comes over, we watch a funny movie, we get drunk, and then I eat her asshole.


What is wrong with the movies?

[BIG PIZZLE]

It's hard to stare at her tits when she's sitting right beside you. Plus if you pop a bone, you could take her eye out.

[ShitBreak]

Plus, first dates to the movies suck. It's like...let's get to know each other by not talking to each other at all for 2 hours.

[Candycane]

The movies are a great way to do some "heavy petting" .. dick in a box is the best classic trick in the book.

[mongo]

i have a tough time talking to a girl for the first time w/out a little sauce in my system. sober i only talk about school, video games, and baseball.

[Candycane]

I guess I missed the first date part. I guess just ask her where she likes to eat or what have you. A casual place is good for breaking the ice, but I'm not feeling the strong Vaginal force with you on the first date.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I enjoy getting groped at the movies but that's more of a post-sex situation. If a girl hasnt let you see her naked yet, chances are she wont reach into your pants during a movie.

[The GWD]

Plus, first dates to the movies suck. It's like...let's get to know each other by not talking to each other at all for 2 hours.

God, you're effeminate. The mission isn't so much "learn every boring facet of her life" so much as "Get in those fucking pants"

[Candycane]

Mike I also don't think you should drop any lines about you having a "webcast" just yet.

[BIG PIZZLE]

Mike is beyond reproach. 2 years from now we're going to be having the exact same conversations with this loser.

[mongo]

mike, you've already fucked this up. she isn't going to fuck you cause no matter what you do, you're still fat and you're trying too hard. just save the $20 you'd have spent on movie tickets and go buy some kleenex.

[Candycane]

Aww I think he'll do fine just don't seem to eager or too assholey either. I don't know if shes a good girl or a bitch. Bitches are hard to please. That's not the road you should travel.

[Gary_Busey]

This might sound dumb, but one of the best movie dates I had was when we watched a silent film. There was no dialogue so we could talk and stuff and still keep up with what was going on. Plus, I could make jokes. Sense of humor gets them into your bed every single time.

[The GWD]

This might sound dumb, but one of the best movie dates I had was when we watched a silent film. There was no dialogue so we could talk and stuff and still keep up with what was going on.

So the last time you went on a date was sometime in the 1920's.

[Gary_Busey]

So the last time you went on a date was sometime in the 1920's.
She's a film buff. We watched City Lights and drank a couple bottles of wine. It was fun.

[mongo]

why pay $20 to listen to the bitch talk? just buy a 12 pack and invite her over to your place.

[Candycane]

You're such a romantic Mongo poo.

[ShitBreak]

I think I might also keep my man-crushes on NPH and JT on lockdown for now too. Don't know if the chicks dig that.

[Titus_Pullo]

I went out on a date last weekend and she took me back to her place and asked me to touch her pussy.

I was too shy and said this. (http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/Beaky_Buzzard/ltbk_019.mp3)

[The Dude]

i just looked for shit to do in tulsa and its slim pickins' this time of year, i'd say go to one of the museums (gilcrease)...but your best bet is probably here: http://www.tulsafirearms.com/

[Will-Kill]

I went out on a date last weekend and she took me back to her place and asked me to touch her pussy.

I was too shy and said this. (http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/Beaky_Buzzard/ltbk_019.mp3)

Yea, play hard to get....make her want it more!

[BIG PIZZLE]

Women dont want museums or zoos and shit. They want an expensive dinner. Nothing gets a girl wetter than ordering an $80 salad on your tab.

[mongo]

Take her dildo shopping!

[Daydreamer]

Why take her shopping if he already has his own he wants her to shove up his ass?

[NOTKyle]

Women dont want museums or zoos and shit. They want an expensive dinner. Nothing gets a girl wetter than ordering an $80 salad on your tab.

Back the truck up bucko. There are establishments that sell $80 salads?

[NOTKyle]

Like, american dollars?

[}{arlequin]

Women dont want museums or zoos and shit. They want an expensive dinner. Nothing gets a girl wetter than ordering an $80 salad on your tab.
this, along w/ a choice few others all belong in the abbreviated book of pizz'isms. hyperbolised*, or not, it speaks the truth.



*yeah, i know

[Menace2Sobriety]

Just go here what are you an idiot http://www.brooksidetheplacetobe.com/rest_night.php

[Menace2Sobriety]

i should be charging you for this shit

http://www.10best.com/Tulsa,OK/Events/50811/Kool_&_The_Gang/event.html?dateRange=next7days

[ShitBreak]

Fuck all that shit. We're just gonna come to my place, get drunk, watch a movie, and then I'm gonna clean out her insides.

[}{arlequin]

and then I'm gonna clean out her insides.
toilet broken at her place?? that sux

[janois]

then I'm gonna clean out her insides.
iI3Yoqxn31U

[WigglingWii]

Fuck all that shit. We're just gonna come to my place, get drunk, watch a movie, and then I'm gonna clean out her insides.

She is lucky to be dating you.

[ShitBreak]

She is lucky to be dating you.

Damn straight.

[Limp]

I love when Mike tries to be all hardcore and just ends up looking like a bigger faggot.

[Gary_Busey]

Yeah, here's what's going to happen: They go to his place, he offers her a beer, they watch a movie, she sips on one or two beers, Mike has 10, after the movie she drives home, Mike masturbates using his fail tears as lube.

[ShitBreak]

You are totally wrong. I'm going to pick her up, so she CAN'T drive home.

I win.

[WigglingWii]

Yeah, here's what's going to happen: They go to his place, he offers her a beer, they watch a movie, she sips on one or two beers, Mike has 10, after the movie she drives home, Mike masturbates using his fail tears as lube.

Sounds about right.

[WET HOT MESS]

Yeah, here's what's going to happen: They go to his place, he offers her a beer, they watch a movie, she sips on one or two beers, Mike has 10, after the movie she drives home, Mike masturbates using his fail tears as lube.
Projecting are we?

[Gary_Busey]

Projecting are we?
You told me you'd stay that night!

[TylerDurden]

Plus, first dates to the movies suck. It's like...let's get to know each other by not talking to each other at all for 2 hours.

wtf. the movie part of the date is as much about getting to know you as the goddamned dinner with all of its talking. there's a fucking reason that bitch wants you go to go a chick/couples flick: she wants to observe you, to see if you're sensitive or whether you have anything in common (whether you'll laugh or comment about the same shit). for the guy it's your opportunity to be smooth with the first step: touching.

there's a reason you start habits like these starting out, and it's because they work. dinner -> movie -> fucking is a tried-and-true formula. c'mon, mike, you should know this shit by now. you been outta the game too long? the fatties have made you soft because they just want dick without making you try too hard.

Aww I think he'll do fine just don't seem to eager or too assholey either. I don't know if shes a good girl or a bitch. Bitches are hard to please. That's not the road you should travel.

and $20 for a dinner/movie is about the cheapest it's going to get to weed out the bitches. and don't forget: if this cunt lets you fuck her on the first date how many others has she let fuck her on the first date? for all you know you're sticking your dick in a sewer. your cock is likely to be fucking pissed at you by night's end, pack its bags, fall the fuck off and leave in the morning.

Fuck all that shit. We're just gonna come to my place, get drunk, watch a movie, and then I'm gonna clean out her insides.

wrong. she's going to get to your place, you're going to get drunk and start rambling about your life, and she's going to relegate your fucking ass to the friend zone.

jesus christ, this is going to be a fucking mess. do yourself a favor and go hoggin'. they're not going to make you try to hard because they need dick.

[janois]

WWTDD?

[ShitBreak]

No. My new years' resolution was no fatties. I'm sticking to it.

[Limp]

Durden speaks da truffiness.

[Limp]

No. My new years' resolution was no fatties. I'm sticking to it.
Say bye bye to masturbation then...

[TylerDurden]

No. My new years' resolution was no fatties. I'm sticking to it.

that was a dumb resolution, my friend. a more reasonable one would be to slim up and become lean. you should keep the fatties in your diet. they'll remind you of why the fuck you're failing in your (sex)life and drive you to better things.

keep goin' after the hotties, and mark my words: you'll be buried knee-fucking-deep in gross-ass comfort food to heal the rejection you're guaranteed to bring upon yourself.

[ShitBreak]

that was a dumb resolution, my friend. a more reasonable one would be to slim up and become lean. you should keep the fatties in your diet. they'll remind you of why the fuck you're failing in your (sex)life and drive you to better things.

keep goin' after the hotties, and mark my words: you'll be buried knee-fucking-deep in gross-ass comfort food to heal the rejection you're guaranteed to bring upon yourself.

Actually, it's the other way around.

If I'm going after hotties, it makes me want to fucking get to the gym everyday.

Getting fatties is what has caused me to be where I am right now. I had no motivation, because they didn't care, so neither did I.

[Limp]

Actually, it's the other way around.

If I'm going after hotties, it makes me want to fucking get to the gym everyday.

Getting fatties is what has caused me to be where I am right now. I had no motivation, because they didn't care, so neither did I.
Wrong... but this post shows what the REAL problem is.

You only do shit (in this case workout) if someone else cares. Man-the-fuck-up and do it for yourself.

[TylerDurden]

Actually, it's the other way around.

If I'm going after hotties, it makes me want to fucking get to the gym everyday.

Getting fatties is what has caused me to be where I am right now. I had no motivation, because they didn't care, so neither did I.

if you say so. i don't think the fatties enabled you, though.

[Limp]

Fatties make you lose weight... you end up doing all of the work and they eat all of your food when you're sleeping.

[TylerDurden]

Fatties make you lose weight... you end up doing all of the work and they eat all of your food when you're sleeping.

there it is. want them to stop eating your shit? start stocking your house with healthy food. it's like fatty repellent. ditch the soda, stock up on propel. once the fatties don't even want you anymore, you'll know you're on the right track.

[ShitBreak]

Yeah...i'm on the way to that.

I love how everyone's first "thing" they always say is to stop drinking soda. I haven't drank soda in like...a fucking year.

[Limp]

Stop knocking down boxes of twinkies and washing them down with half-half then.

[TylerDurden]

I love how everyone's first "thing" they always say is to stop drinking soda.

because it's the fastest, easiest way to see a fucking difference. stop drinking 2% or whole (if you drink it). start buying 1% or skim. and speaking of milk, drink some if you don't already. milk has been shown to aid in your metabolism, which is really what you want to improve. cardio is good, but acts as a multiplier when done in conjunction with muscle tearing and rebuilding (i.e. lifting weights, etc.).

work out in the morning before you've eaten anything. you've been asleep for eight hours (ideally) and your body will be done processing what you ate the night before. by working out when you wake up you're burning off actual crap from your body. this also acts to boost your metabolism, so anything you eat immediately afterwards is almost instantly consumed, used, and processed.

some people are put off by having to go to a gym. call it laziness, time consumption, whatever. you don't need a gym to get yourself in shape. i invested in a treadmill, rock a brisk run for two miles every morning, followed up immediately by a decent workout regimen, shit, shower, and shave, and then i'm off to work. the whole thing takes a half hour. i lost fifty pounds inside of three months doing this. but i also cut out the cigarettes, mcdonalds, soda, crap food and started eating healthier.

Stop knocking down boxes of twinkies and washing them down with half-half then.

this made me lulz. who the fuck does this? that's fucking disgusting.

[ShitBreak]

Well, I'm not working out in the morning. I have to be at work at 7:30 every morning, and I refuse to get up at 5am just to work out.

What I plan on doing, is since my gym is more or less on my way home from work...I'm just gonna take a gym bag with me to work every day, and stop at the gym on my way home. Just basically make it a daily routine. Add an "extra hour" to my work day.

Pretty simple shit. Like I've said before, just doing a better job watching what I ate, and going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week for 6 weeks had me lose 15 pounds. I'm sure I can top that this time around...especially if I stick with it.

[TylerDurden]

Well, I'm not working out in the morning. I have to be at work at 7:30 every morning, and I refuse to get up at 5am just to work out.

What I plan on doing, is since my gym is more or less on my way home from work...I'm just gonna take a gym bag with me to work every day, and stop at the gym on my way home. Just basically make it a daily routine. Add an "extra hour" to my work day.

Pretty simple shit. Like I've said before, just doing a better job watching what I ate, and going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week for 6 weeks had me lose 15 pounds. I'm sure I can top that this time around...especially if I stick with it.

as long as it works for you, rock the fuck out of it. in the mean time, stay away from the females. stick with your hand. she can be anybody you want and she won't say no.

[Bill Paxton]

So i've got plans to start seeing this girl when she gets back to the US this summer.. Im pretty excited about it as she is a really cool gal. Because of this I haven't really been looking for anyone else in the mean time and i've just been conversing with her via email, and IM.

However, this other girl that had a boyfriend for a while and is now single has been talking to me a lot lately kinda out of the blue and we're supposed to hang out this weekend. The problem is that girl A's friend is going to be there too. Now I want to see what happens with Girl B, but I don't want girl A's friend to either blow up my spot with Girl B, or tell Girl A about me mackin on girl B.

I realize i should have probably just waited for girl A to get back before persuing her, but now that i've started i feel like things could be a little awkward if I hit it off with Girl B. At the moment im not really sure who I like better so any advice is appreciated (though I am sure it will all be bad)

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Hedging bets only works in gamblng. Go for the one you like more and forget about the other. If you are luke warm I will spew you out of my mouth.

[Bill Paxton]

Hedging bets only works in gamblng. Go for the one you like more and forget about the other. If you are luke warm I will spew you out of my mouth.


Well thats the problem, i have no clue which one i like more. Its a dead heat at the moment.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Which one likes you more?

[Jericho]

Well thats the problem, i have no clue which one i like more. Its a dead heat at the moment.
It's the one in India or wherever, and you know it is, but you're tired of jerking off. I'm pretty warm, yes

[BIG PIZZLE]

I say you make them compete for your peen. All women secretly hate eachother.

[Bill Paxton]

Which one likes you more?

A - I know for a fact is in to me
B - I don't know for sure or not, but it definately seems like it, which is why i want to kind of test the waters before me and A actually start dating.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Honestly. It's not gonna work out. Find a new option a.

[Bill Paxton]

It's the one in India or wherever, and you know it is, but you're tired of jerking off. I'm pretty warm, yes

You are like...so far off...

[Bill Paxton]

Honestly. It's not gonna work out. Find a new option a.

Ok, im looking for advise that does work out. I will feel pretty bad if i do hit it off with B though and have to tell A the whole deal is off

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Been there buddy, save yourself the trouble....

[Bill Paxton]

Been there buddy, save yourself the trouble....

STOP BEING THE VOICE OF REASON! I WANT SOMEONE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IS GOING TO WORK OUT FINE IN MY FAVOR!

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Oh, well make sure girl a's friend gets blackout drunk and doesn't even remember being there.

[Jericho]

You are like...so far off...
Am I?

Am I?

[BIG PIZZLE]

If you really want to be realistic about this and figure out who you are supposed to be with, ask your self this one question, who has bigger tits?

[Bill Paxton]

If you really want to be realistic about this and figure out who you are supposed to be with, ask your self this one question, who has bigger tits?
The always helpful BIG PIZZLE everyone!

[}{arlequin]

I say you make them compete for your peen. All women secretly hate eachother.
secretly?


there is nothing more vicious than hearing one woman's critique of another

[BIG PIZZLE]

Honestly, if you're not going to try to fuck them both, choose the one that your more attracted to. And stop being such a girl.

[mongo]

Well thats the problem, i have no clue which one i like more. Its a dead heat at the moment.

this is why heads/tails where put on u.s. coins.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

I would have thought he knew to base women of the size of their tits. I'm pretty sure my dad taught me that when I was 5.

[Bill Paxton]

Honestly, if you're not going to try to fuck them both, choose the one that your more attracted to. And stop being such a girl.


Whats the point of having this thread if i can't bitch about my girly relationship problems

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

I thought it was here for me to laugh about how much other people don't get laid.

[BIG PIZZLE]

Whats the point of having this thread if i can't bitch about my girly relationship problems

What's the point of me posting here if I cant make fun of how big a queer you are?

[Jericho]

Where's SiG? Isn't he Dirk Diggler?

[}{arlequin]

just behave like a gentleman the whole time you're out w/ B and A's friend. i'd also mention to A that you'll be hanging out w/ her friend and it's gonna be fun but you're really just looking forward to her coming back so that you can finally get to spend time w/ *her* (A).

if A's friend reports how B was flirty w/ you but you behaved etc, this will all reflect well upon you in A's eyes. while B will think you're just a discriminating individual who isn't the get-drunk-n-screw fratboy type. win win.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I named a Cuban girl's boobs last night. I was so shocked that they didnt already have names.

[}{arlequin]

I named a Cuban girl's boobs last night. I was so shocked that they didnt already have names.
los generales???

[BIG PIZZLE]

Nicki and Vicki Titty. First, I went with Anna and Nicole but she wasnt feeling that.

[Jericho]

Nicki and Vicki Titty.
Someone watches Double Shot At Love

[}{arlequin]

First, I went with Anna and Nicole but she wasnt feeling that.
cuban girls don't wanna be associated w/ white trash

[BIG PIZZLE]

Someone watches Double Shot At Love

I tried, I couldnt handle it. Even with all that lesbian shit, that show is unbearable. Those girls are hot though. She was calling them her twins so it instantly popped into my head.

[Bill Paxton]

just behave like a gentleman the whole time you're out w/ B and A's friend. i'd also mention to A that you'll be hanging out w/ her friend and it's gonna be fun but you're really just looking forward to her coming back so that you can finally get to spend time w/ *her* (A).

if A's friend reports how B was flirty w/ you but you behaved etc, this will all reflect well upon you in A's eyes. while B will think you're just a discriminating individual who isn't the get-drunk-n-screw fratboy type. win win.

Well im also worried that if B is in to me, A's friend might say something like "ooo, you still talking to A, blah blah bla" and completely ruin any chance i have of finding out if B is in fact in to me.

[}{arlequin]

that's where the difficult part comes in. you gotta sell to A's friend your lack of interest in B so that doesn't even come up. if you screw it up, game over. you'll lose A and B.

why is B and A's friend together? are they friends? bad mojo from the start. if things don't get iffy until a few drinks in, then excuse yourself under some lame work/school pretext and leave. you'll leave them stumped.