Dirk Diggler's Relationship, Dating, & Advice Thread-Ruffdog fails

[BIG PIZZLE]

Leaving a party early does tend to make you seem cooler than you actually are. Especially if you have a pretext.

[Bill Paxton]

that's where the difficult part comes in. you gotta sell to A's friend your lack of interest in B so that doesn't even come up. if you screw it up, game over. you'll lose A and B.

why is B and A's friend together? are they friends? bad mojo from the start. if things don't get iffy until a few drinks in, then excuse yourself under some lame work/school pretext and leave. you'll leave them stumped.

Well im having a shindig, and A's friend is my friend's girlfriend and B is my guest. Didn't plan it that way, just kinda happened.

[}{arlequin]

everybody at your place + unable to leave = you're fucked

[BIG PIZZLE]

Dont talk to either of them. Or just be really aloof towars them. If you could pull that off, and if they are even the slighest bit into you, you will be getting blumpkins by the end of the month.

[Bill Paxton]

Yeah, i am well aware that none of this bodes well. But the idea of just not going for B at all just doesn't sit well. Shes way too hot to not at least test the waters

[Jericho]

Tell your boy to keep his bitch away from you. Have him wing for you, unless he shouldn't be in on this either

[Candycane]

I think you have plenty of game and don't need any advice in the first place.

[BIG PIZZLE]

Thanks mom.

[Bill Paxton]

Tell your boy to keep his bitch away from you. Have him wing for you, unless he shouldn't be in on this either

My boy is pussy whipped so hes pretty much useless. My only hope is that the turnout is big so i can just avoid A's friend the whole time

[Candycane]

Thanks mom.


You're welcome sonny, come and fuck me now.

[BIG PIZZLE]

Kinda creepy mom. Go make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

[Candycane]

Kinda creepy mom. Go make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.


My little lying son with no eyes, I've already made it, it's in my asshole.

[BIG PIZZLE]

Seriously, still creepy.

[Candycane]

mmmmm.

[Titus_Pullo]

What is going on here? Symbolic Logic meets dating?

[BIG PIZZLE]

It's clear that CC wants to adopt me.

[Titus_Pullo]

I'll draw up the papers. I'm going to need some crayons.

[Jericho]

I think Pizzle has some in his fisher Price doctor kit

[Candycane]

It's clear that CC wants to adopt me.


I'm totally into breastfeeding in public. You'd be all drawing up legal papers to prevent me and I'd just be stuffing your mouth full of milk.

[The Dude]

Where's SiG? Isn't he Dirk Diggler?

obviously

Well im having a shindig, and A's friend is my friend's girlfriend and B is my guest. Didn't plan it that way, just kinda happened.

everybody at your place + unable to leave = you're fucked

i was going to say, cancel, don't put yourself in the situation, but then you went and did something stupid like invited them to your place.


you need to go skiing for the weekend

[The Dude]

honestly though, man the fuck up. if you are trying to make it work with girl a, then keep your dick in your pants. if you're unsure and want a crack at b then im/email whatever you feel like a and tell her you're a pussy and can't make it work

[Bill Paxton]

honestly though, man the fuck up. if you are trying to make it work with girl a, then keep your dick in your pants. if you're unsure and want a crack at b then im/email whatever you feel like a and tell her you're a pussy and can't make it work

Well if it were that simple i wouldn't be conflicted about it. I know if I pass up B and wait for A and it doesn't work out with A i'll regret it and most likely lost my shot at B, and vice versa.

[Jericho]

Well if it were that simple i wouldn't be conflicted about it. I know if I pass up B and wait for A and it doesn't work out with A i'll regret it and most likely lost my shot at B, and vice versa.
Shit Happens. Rock and Roll.

[The Dude]

Well if it were that simple i wouldn't be conflicted about it. I know if I pass up B and wait for A and it doesn't work out with A i'll regret it and most likely lost my shot at B, and vice versa.

in the long run, its not going to work out with either of them, so don't worry about it

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

I already said that. He didn't listen.

So I shit under his pillows.

[The Dude]

ok ok ok, there is only one true answer:

you have to get b and a's friend drunk enough to have a threesome so that a's friend will keep her mouth shut no matter what happens, or at least until a gets back and you have a chance to screw it up

[Jericho]

I don't have the faith in Dunnybunny to pull that off

[}{arlequin]

here's a novel idea... why not try honesty?

sure, it requires you to make a choice, but if it's the right one, and you come clean, the payoff should be tenfold. personally, i'd go w/ the one that i invested the time in to chat/im/text whatever. you definitely know more ab each other and yet still seem compatible. that's worth more than an unknown floozy B type, even if she's hot.

[}{arlequin]

so.... just one day after discussing the i'm-gonna-have-two-women-at-same-place type of situation, i've created the same shit for myself.

last night, before going out, friends came over and brought a chick w/ them (B). not knowing that later in the night i'm gonna end up w/ my hand down her pants, i said to her that if she didn't have any plans she'd be welcome to come by for the superbowl party. i have no idea what's on her mind, but unless it's just a one night thing for her b/c it's a party atmosphere, i'm expecting her to show up.

problem is, last week i invited another chick (A) that i used to sleep with, but now she wants back in and also may or may not show up. i can't get out of it since it's at my place, and lying about cancelling a superbowl party is just not feasible. i like yesterday's chick more than the other one, b/c even though she's built very nicely, and slutty, she's batshit crazy. while those can be fun, i've already had that.

i'm kinda hoping chick A just doesn't show up, but in case she wants to, i think i'm resigned to simply not answering her calls/texts until monday, claiming i forgot my phone at work.

it's weak but best that i can come up with. they're completely opposite personality wise, so them both being over is simply not an option.

[BIG PIZZLE]

This is why I never throw parties. Well this and the fact that I dont have any real fwends. :(

[Le Goat]

so.... just one day after discussing the i'm-gonna-have-two-women-at-same-place type of situation, i've created the same shit for myself.

last night, before going out, friends came over and brought a chick w/ them (B). not knowing that later in the night i'm gonna end up w/ my hand down her pants, i said to her that if she didn't have any plans she'd be welcome to come by for the superbowl party. i have no idea what's on her mind, but unless it's just a one night thing for her b/c it's a party atmosphere, i'm expecting her to show up.

problem is, last week i invited another chick (A) that i used to sleep with, but now she wants back in and also may or may not show up. i can't get out of it since it's at my place, and lying about cancelling a superbowl party is just not feasible. i like yesterday's chick more than the other one, b/c even though she's built very nicely, and slutty, she's batshit crazy. while those can be fun, i've already had that.

i'm kinda hoping chick A just doesn't show up, but in case she wants to, i think i'm resigned to simply not answering her calls/texts until monday, claiming i forgot my phone at work.

it's weak but best that i can come up with. they're completely opposite personality wise, so them both being over is simply not an option.

Fuck chick A, she had her chance. Let shit happen with chick B and if it doesnt, oh well, you gave it a shot and A might be around eventually.

[Bill Paxton]

So little update. Girl B ended up staying home sick and I ended up boning girl C, not really sure if Girl A's roommate is aware of this or not.

[}{arlequin]

best laid plans...?

[Bill Paxton]

It worked out pretty well, but i still wish girl B came. Maybe i'll hang out with her next weekend or something

[Jericho]

So little update. Girl B ended up staying home sick and I ended up boning girl C, not really sure if Girl A's roommate is aware of this or not.
Wait, wait....Who in the fuck was girl C?

[Bill Paxton]

Wait, wait....Who in the fuck was girl C?

one of my good friend's roommates. Not really super in to her, but when B didn't show I needed to try to sleep with someone.

[Jericho]

Yeeeah, I'm not sure if it's gonna work out with A or B, manslut

[}{arlequin]

yeah, for ultimate security, you gotta dip outside of your circle of friends, otherwise someone usually talks

[nuclearjew]

one of my good friend's roommates. Not really super in to her, but when B didn't show I needed to try to sleep with someone.
Paxton, choosing between three different women?

http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q158/dujac/big_love.jpg

[Face]

chloe sevigny is really unattractive

[Titus_Pullo]

The middle one had AIDS from fucking Tully.

[Bill Paxton]

Yeeeah, I'm not sure if it's gonna work out with A or B, manslut

Things will work out just fine, ya'll need to have a little bit of faith

[Face]

The middle one had AIDS from fucking Tully.
she deserved it

[ruffdog]

i'm a sexy beast

[Bill Paxton]

Ahh, well so im kind of an idiot. I mentioned that i hooked up with girl C. She ended up messaging me asking if i thought it was awkward when we hung out the other day (im good friends with her roommate and i was over their place drinking). I said no and then while a little drunk (i asked her if she regretted hooking up and told her i had a good time). No idea what came over me, and this was literally a few minutes ago so i haven't heard back het.

So now i think i might have made things incredibly awkward with C, and im still trying to figure out what to do with A and B. I really wish I wasn't an idiot when it came to this shit.

[Jericho]

You're done. You were given tons of advice and fucked some random slag in the end ignoring all of it. Game over, Matt. Game over

[Bill Paxton]

You're done. You were given tons of advice and fucked some random slag in the end ignoring all of it. Game over, Matt. Game over

Its not over! A isn't back for a few months. B is a tentative at best, and C can be my part time lover.

[Le Goat]

I DONT KNOW THE FUCKING ALPHABET

[Jericho]

Its not over! A isn't back for a few months. B is a tentative at best, and C can be my part time lover.
But you've proven that you're too horny to be faithful. Not A or B or C will work out in the end

[Bill Paxton]

Untrue, im very faithful when im actually in a relationship but since im not in a relationship i am too horny to remain faithful to one prospect

[Jericho]

Does A know you aren't in a relationship, because you seem to want to fuck girls without her ever finding out about it

[}{arlequin]

I said no and then while a little drunk (i asked her if she regretted hooking up and told her i had a good time).

So now i think i might have made things incredibly awkward with C
i would've said the same except i would've skipped the part ab having a good time. seems suggestive, esp if you don't want it.

other than that, i'm not sure why things would be 'incredibly awkward'. lots of one night stands start, finish, and continue not being awkward for the parties involved.

[janois]

Untrue, im very faithful when im actually in a relationship but since im not in a relationship i am too horny to remain faithful to one prospect
If you're not in a relationship, ain't shit to worry about A, B or C. Until you are in a relationship that you actually give a shit about, fuck it, go find a D E F and G.

[Bill Paxton]

I asked A out before she left the country, we basically wanted to keep and touch and then go out on a date when she got back. But she knows we're not a couple. I mean if she was making out with dudes i might be jealous but i couldnt really hold it against her

[Jericho]

I asked A out before she left the country, we basically wanted to keep and touch and then go out on a date when she got back. But she knows we're not a couple. I mean if she was making out with dudes i might be jealous but i couldnt really hold it against her
Then why are you so concerned about her finding out you're getting laid? Will she hold it against you?

[}{arlequin]

I mean if she was making out with dudes i might be jealous but i couldnt really hold it against her
but you're gonna hold it against YOURSELF?? kinda v-monologueish of you

[Bill Paxton]

Then why are you so concerned about her finding out you're getting laid? Will she hold it against you?


I dunno, its not really the image i want to convey. Shes a ridiculously sweet girl so i dont want to come off as a jackass.

[BIG PIZZLE]

News flash: You're a jackass. The sooner you come to grips with that, the easier it will be to act like a jackass.

[Bill Paxton]

but that wont help me get laid

[janois]

Jackasses get laid. Always have, always will.

[BIG PIZZLE]

but that wont help me get laid

Then you're not doing it right.

[ShitBreak]

So...if you aren't really getting a "lets make out" vibe from a chick, but then she texts you saying "i wanted to kiss you tonight, is that ok?".....does that mean I have lost my balls?

[Bizz]

Make a move. Wait until about half way through the date. Man up.

[ShitBreak]

Fuck it. I'll see her at a funeral tomorrow. I'm gonna wreck her behind the casket.

[}{arlequin]

she 'wanted to'? as in, past tense? so the date is over? or is she a dumbass or you mistranscribed her text?

[mongo]

there is no casket in the world large enough to hide your ass.

[Le Goat]

Fuck it. I'll see her at a funeral tomorrow. I'm gonna wreck her behind the casket.
hhahhaahahahahahahaah... you finally sending your balls off proper?

[Jericho]

there is no casket in the world large enough to hide your ass.
It's an Okie funeral,man. Sure there is

[ShitBreak]

she 'wanted to'? as in, past tense? so the date is over? or is she a dumbass or you mistranscribed her text?

It wasn't a date. We just have mutual friends and have hung out at parties every once in a while.

When we left at like 6 this morning, she sent me that text on my way home.

[ShitBreak]

It's an Okie funeral,man. Sure there is

It's an 11-month old's funeral. So i doubt the casket is that big.

[Le Goat]

It's an Okie funeral,man. Sure there is

I was at an Okie funeral Tuesday... :eek:

[The Dude]

way to take the party on down to zero

[}{arlequin]

It wasn't a date. We just have mutual friends and have hung out at parties every once in a while.

When we left at like 6 this morning, she sent me that text on my way home.
is this the same milf you mentioned in ot? if so, i'd kiss her as soon as i see her. act first, explain later. she'll think ab it throughout the entire date

[ShitBreak]

I just don't know if things are supposed to be any different since she has a kid.

[ShitBreak]

is this the same milf you mentioned in ot? if so, i'd kiss her as soon as i see her. act first, explain later. she'll think ab it throughout the entire date

I don't think so. I kinda liked this chick a while back, but hadn't seen her since Halloween.

[mongo]

mike, stfu and figure it out like a real man already. jesus fuck.

[Le Goat]

I just don't know if things are supposed to be any different since she has a kid.

facepalm.jpg

[Bizz]

I just don't know if things are supposed to be any different since she has a kid.

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c380/Fanchmaster/hotdog_hallway-1.jpg

[}{arlequin]

mike, stfu and figure it out like a real man already. jesus fuck.
this is fun too. like my very own remote control... human.


fuck sims!!

[ShitBreak]

At least she's not a fatty.

[}{arlequin]

only pics will determine that

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

failure

the only thing osumike is good at

[Jericho]

One of our awesome ps'ers needs to make an Obama-esque OSUMike FAIL av for him

[Bizz]

http://i40.tinypic.com/2d9wsnp.jpg

[Archangel]

One of our awesome ps'ers needs to make an Obama-esque OSUMike FAIL av for him

That's gonna hurt, you being his bro and all.

[Rover]

It wasn't a date. We just have mutual friends and have hung out at parties every once in a while.

When we left at like 6 this morning, she sent me that text on my way home.I just don't know if things are supposed to be any different since she has a kid.Well, the biggest thing that should be different, since she has a kid, is that she shouldn't be out partying it up until 6 in the morning.

[WET HOT MESS]

Oklahoma's got our finest selection of women.

[}{arlequin]

the smoking-while-pregnant pic comes to mind

[WET HOT MESS]

I got Bill Hicks narrating a generic scene from COPS where the woman's got her head runned in by her drunk husband shouting at the cops, "DON'T TAKE HIM. HEES A GUD MAN. HE DON MEAN NO HARM. I FELL AH-SLEEP ON THU DRIVEWAY UF OUR TRAILER AND HE DIN SEE ME."


Something to that effect. OSUmike in 10 years?

[Limp]

Well, the biggest thing that should be different, since she has a kid, is that she shouldn't be out partying it up until 6 in the morning.
Divorced and the kid is with the dad?

[Rover]

Divorced and the kid is with the dad?For the kid's sake, I hope so. There is nothing more sad and depressing than a mother out partying, while the baby stays at home with the grandparents. But, somehow, I think that's more likely the case.

[WET HOT MESS]

I love it. It gives comedians material to talk about. Plus it's stuff like that which keeps COPS going.

[Pax Britannia]

Plus it's stuff like that which keeps COPS going.

I thought that was black people?

[The GWD]

I love it. It gives comedians material to talk about. Plus it's stuff like that which keeps COPS going.

Except Bill Hicks. He's like, way dead.

[WET HOT MESS]

I'd make love to his dead body.

[The GWD]

Me too.

[WET HOT MESS]

Wanna smoke him like what they did in How High?

[The GWD]

As long as I'm Method Man.

[WET HOT MESS]

I don't care, as long as I'm black.

[Le Goat]

FOUND A PIC OF HER!!

http://jj.am/gallery/d/75547-1/Cutter.jpg

[WET HOT MESS]

Shit like that makes me weep. I wanna help her fix her look so badly. This whole emo/goth/faux punk shit isn't working.

[The GWD]

I don't know. I'd hit it.

[Da Raider]

FOUND A PIC OF HER!!

http://jj.am/gallery/d/75547-1/Cutter.jpg

I knew she looked familiar...

http://img104.imagevenue.com/loc430/th_05414_aughra_122_430lo.jpg (http://img104.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=05414_aughra_122_430lo.jpg)

[The GWD]

Major lol.

[Alcestis]

I don't know. I'd hit it.

With what, a solid wood baseball bat?

[ruffdog]

Valentines day ideas.
GO!

[mongo]

Valentines day ideas.
GO!

anal lube. /ideas

[Face]

fuck her best friend again

[ruffdog]

fuck her best friend again

wrong person.


Go

[ruffdog]

anal lube. /ideas

she don't like anal

go

[mongo]

she don't like anal

go

well then, it sounds like you she give her a "dear john" letter.

[Jericho]

You're ruffdog. Even Sig isn't going to help you

[Face]

she don't like anal

go
Oh come on, with your little pencil pecker I'm sure she wouldn't be the least bit bothered

[NOTKyle]

Take her out to dinner and get her a gift of some kind if you feel the need. I'm getting my girl a webcam because she's mentioned wanting one to talk to her GURRLFRENDDZ a couple times and taking her to the one nice italian place in a 50 mile radius.

[BIG PIZZLE]

Bake her a cake.

[ruffdog]

Take her out to dinner and get her a gift of some kind if you feel the need. I'm getting my girl a webcam because she's mentioned wanting one to talk to her GURRLFRENDDZ a couple times and taking her to the one nice italian place in a 50 mile radius.

what kind of gift? this girl has everything

[ruffdog]

Bake her a cake.

so we can do cake farts later?

[Face]

what kind of gift? this girl has everything
except a boyfriend who isn't a douchebag

[ruffdog]

except a boyfriend who isn't a douchebag

ok I gotta admit that was a good one

[NOTKyle]

what kind of gift? this girl has everything

Girls love it when they think you know them really well, when really you just heard them whine about something they wanted in the past. For christmas I got my girl a jewelry box, cause she has a lot of nice jewelry (her mom is president of a jewelry company in manhattan) and her panties melted.

[ruffdog]

my wallet is gonna get fucked in the ass

[The Dude]

You're ruffdog. Even Sig isn't going to help you

Sig won't, but Dirk must, its how it works

what kind of gift? this girl has everything

you get her something that she wouldn't get herself and/or that no one else would get her. could be something to do with an inside joke just between the two of you, doesn't have to be expensive, and most importantly, doesn't have to be homemade, it just has to show that you put some thought into it, and not thought like "oh its valentine's day, i have to get my gf something" thought along the lines of something only you (as her bf) would know to get her

[NOTKyle]

You're a little too late to use eBay, which is where I bought the jewelry box.

Don't forget to use a coupon!

[Limp]

my wallet is gonna get fucked in the ass
What is your wallet doing in your colon?

[ruffdog]

What is your wallet doing in your colon?

no no..the question is whats my dick doing in my wallet

[NOTKyle]

not thought like "oh its valentine's day, i have to get my gf something" thought along the lines of something only you (as her bf) would know to get her

Right. So not a stuffed animal holding a red heart that you clearly bought at CVS when getting a prescription filled, but maybe a stuffed animal of her favorite animal that you had to buy on Amazon.

[ruffdog]

anyone know a place where I can get like a 6 foot teddy bear or something

[ruffdog]

actually thats a good idea....a. huge fucking teddy bear...

[Limp]

anyone know a place where I can get like a 6 foot teddy bear or something
<--- this guy

[Face]

anyone know a place where I can get like a 6 foot teddy bear or something
I'll dress up like a bear if you let me fuck her in the ass

[ruffdog]

I'll dress up like a bear if you let me fuck her in the ass
you're more like 6'9 so no

[Jericho]

I'll dress up like a bear if you let me fuck her in the ass
rawr. BEARFACE!

[ruffdog]

i'm fucking serious,..I need to buy a 6 foot bear

[Face]

you're more like 6'9 so no
6'7"

[NOTKyle]

http://store.bigplush.com/StoreFrontProfiles/DeluxeSFItemDetail.aspx?sfid=114670&c=689611&i=167980106

[The Dude]

Right. So not a stuffed animal holding a red heart that you clearly bought at CVS when getting a prescription filled, but maybe a stuffed animal of her favorite animal that you had to buy on Amazon.

indeed. for example, christmas one year, the girl i was seeing at the time (college) was a meticulous note taker, and she would take different parts of her notes in different colors and then go back and study and make notes in other colors...etc, point is she had a few markers rolling around the bottom of her bag and would just use what she had on hand. so i went to an art supply store and got her a really nice set (probably 20 or so) of thin markers or pens (can't remember which) that came with a nice case.

when i gave her the present, she opened it and actually broke down in tears because she was so happy--because it was something no one else would think to get her.

i then got lots and lots of sex

[TylerDurden]

ah, i see where this is going. you get her a six-foot teddy bear holding a box of chocolates, a dozen roses, and anal beads. i like your style. if that doesn't work, get her an ambulance ride to the hospital.

[mongo]

i'm fucking serious,..I need to buy a 6 foot bear

oh the irony!

http://i44.tinypic.com/1zmpdg7.png

[}{arlequin]

I'll dress up like a bear if you let me fuck her in the ass
care bear stare?

[WET HOT MESS]

Valentines day ideas.
GO!
Are you still seeing that 18 year old?

[mongo]

what does tinypic have against pedobear? that's what i want to know.

[Archangel]

Take her out to dinner and get her a gift of some kind if you feel the need. I'm getting my girl a webcam because she's mentioned wanting one to talk to her GURRLFRENDDZ a couple times and taking her to the one nice italian place in a 50 mile radius.

That does not sound like New York.

[NOTKyle]

That does not sound like New York.

By 50 I probably meant 20, but upstate new york is a shitty place to be.

[Archangel]

By 50 I probably meant 20, but upstate new york is a shitty place to be.

Ah, never been outside the city limits, myself. Unless you count a cab ride from Newark.

[The Dude]

so...i just completely put myself out there regarding a girl. i feel so naked and vulnerable right now.

SOMEONE HOLD ME!

[ElemenoP]

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!

[WET HOT MESS]

Everyone... awwwwww

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

so...i just completely put myself out there regarding a girl. i feel so naked and vulnerable right now.

SOMEONE HOLD ME!


It's a strange feeling for people like us. I've reached out to a couple girls in my life. I even reached out to a girl I had never met once that didn't end well. The wrenching in my gut is unexplainable. It's so out of character to really connect to someone.

[}{arlequin]

so...i just completely put myself out there regarding a girl. i feel so naked and vulnerable right now.

SOMEONE HOLD ME!
i guess soon you'll find out whether she liked your pulled pork or not

[Bill Paxton]

Emo thread, fags.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

I'm not emo. I'm a whore. I won't be reaching out to anyone anytime soon.

[The Dude]

It's a strange feeling for people like us. I've reached out to a couple girls in my life. I even reached out to a girl I had never met once that didn't end well. The wrenching in my gut is unexplainable. It's so out of character to really connect to someone.


strange indeed.

i mean, it went pretty well, but its just completely out of character for me. uncharted territory.

its not like trawling right before last call where i can just turn around and talk to someone else if i get a no.

[The Dude]

I'm not emo. I'm a whore. I won't be reaching out to anyone anytime soon.

i'm not emo, i'm just nekkid and vulnerable...(please don't take advantage of me)

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Actually I guess I am off my game. I wouldn't say emo, cause I've been tearing up the town, but there was a girl I really connected with in an awesome way, and it was just done in the blink of an eye. I've never been able to get myself to just call her. I think maybe it's why I busted into a quick relationship with a former booty call, and then have been running down my list hitting whatever's around. I think I'm just having sex instead of addressing the issue. Kinda like a bandaid on a gunshot.

[Hodge]

So all the cool people are in this thread anyways...
I went out on Tuesday, like everyone else, and one of my friends was there. Her and her friend sat down next to me, she sat really close, blah blah blah, nothing much of note there.
Then this guy she was talking to earlier shows up and her friend ditches her so she moves closer and closer to me so he gets the hint (he was really drunk and stupid, I quote "they used to think the Earth was flat, that's physics" me "That's geography").
Eventually the guy leaves and she spaces things out a bit.

I've been into her for awhile and I think it is mutual so I send her a text about hanging out sometime. She says could do, and hopefully we meet up this weekend cuz my roommate had mentioned the three of us going for a hike.

I texted her back the next day saying she misread me (I'm not looking to meet up at a social gathering with her obviously, tho I didn't state that exactly), how about a day/time?

I haven't heard back. I don't want to harass her but I do wanna know wtf?

Thoughts/opinions/ideas?

[Hodge]

Come on people help a brother out.
Should I text her and say wtf or explain myself?
Not looking to annoy her but after a time of flirting and both hinting we should hang out it's kind of dumb she dropped it.

[STDSkillz]

How long has it been since she hasn't texted you back? Since Wednesday?

[TylerDurden]

So all the cool people are in this thread anyways...
I went out on Tuesday, like everyone else, and one of my friends was there. Her and her friend sat down next to me, she sat really close, blah blah blah, nothing much of note there.
Then this guy she was talking to earlier shows up and her friend ditches her so she moves closer and closer to me so he gets the hint (he was really drunk and stupid, I quote "they used to think the Earth was flat, that's physics" me "That's geography").
Eventually the guy leaves and she spaces things out a bit.

I've been into her for awhile and I think it is mutual so I send her a text about hanging out sometime. She says could do, and hopefully we meet up this weekend cuz my roommate had mentioned the three of us going for a hike.

I texted her back the next day saying she misread me (I'm not looking to meet up at a social gathering with her obviously, tho I didn't state that exactly), how about a day/time?

I haven't heard back. I don't want to harass her but I do wanna know wtf?

Thoughts/opinions/ideas?

the best thing you can do at the moment is leave it be. she may be busy or forgot to respond. or she doesn't know how to respond. either way, whatever you do don't throw a "so you wanna blah blah blah this weekend or what?" if your plans this weekend are contingent around hanging out then wait until tomorrow and toss her a "didn't get a response from the other day. if you wanna hang out this weekend lemme know, otherwise i'll be blah blah blah." and then leave it alone.

if you press too hard you'll do more than ruin any chance you have at shacking up, you'll ruin a friendship.

in all honesty, you need to consider the worst-case scenario: you're the mayor of friendtown with a lifelong term. this chick may not be looking for that kind of shit with you. but have no fear... any chick that does not herself fuck you will lead you to a veritable watering hole of eligible ladies. and if she doesn't, why is she your friend?

EDIT: or better yet... take her up on the hiking thing. if all else fails and she won't hang out one-on-one then you still have an opportunity to resolve the burning question once and for all: is she fucking around with me or does she seriously like me. by putting things in public you take the pressure off of her, but still give yourself access to do some investigation. and it's not all about the physical shit either. doing an activity like hiking gives you a chance to stimulate her on various levels, and with luck, you'll be balls-deep by weekend's end.

[STDSkillz]

Tyler speaks the truf. Wait on it. She may be confused with things too.

[The Dude]

1) STOP FUCKING TEXTING (you text a booty call or a girl you are already in a relationship with, not a girl you are interested in)

2) STOP FUCKING TEXTING

3) Wait until the next time you guys run into each other and sarcastically say something about how its a good thing you didn't hold your breath

4) Put her on the spot, like "let's go __________ right now" (where filling in the blank is something for just the two of you to do, could be food, coffee, whatever, the point is that it is RIGHT NOW) (also, because you're clearly a moron, this step is something that you do in person)

[TylerDurden]

1) STOP FUCKING TEXTING (you text a booty call or a girl you are already in a relationship with, not a girl you are interested in)

2) STOP FUCKING TEXTING

3) Wait until the next time you guys run into each other and sarcastically say something about how its a good thing you didn't hold your breath

4) Put her on the spot, like "let's go __________ right now (where filling in the blank is something for just the two of you to do, could be food, coffee, whatever, the point is that it is RIGHT NOW)

also a good approach. but whichever approach you take, don't choose the one that's out of character for you. you'll freak her the fuck out. unless that's part of your mystique, in which case choose the opposite of what she thinks you would do.

[Hodge]

1) STOP FUCKING TEXTING (you text a booty call or a girl you are already in a relationship with, not a girl you are interested in)

2) STOP FUCKING TEXTING

3) Wait until the next time you guys run into each other and sarcastically say something about how its a good thing you didn't hold your breath

4) Put her on the spot, like "let's go __________ right now" (where filling in the blank is something for just the two of you to do, could be food, coffee, whatever, the point is that it is RIGHT NOW) (also, because you're clearly a moron, this step is something that you do in person)
QFT

Fuck.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

I've fucked most of my girl friends. Take it from me..... forget about it.

[Hodge]

How long has it been since she hasn't texted you back? Since Wednesday?
Yesterday. I've just got way too much fucking time on my hands.
the best thing you can do at the moment is leave it be. she may be busy or forgot to respond. or she doesn't know how to respond. either way, whatever you do don't throw a "so you wanna blah blah blah this weekend or what?" if your plans this weekend are contingent around hanging out then wait until tomorrow and toss her a "didn't get a response from the other day. if you wanna hang out this weekend lemme know, otherwise i'll be blah blah blah." and then leave it alone.

if you press too hard you'll do more than ruin any chance you have at shacking up, you'll ruin a friendship.

in all honesty, you need to consider the worst-case scenario: you're the mayor of friendtown with a lifelong term. this chick may not be looking for that kind of shit with you. but have no fear... any chick that does not herself fuck you will lead you to a veritable watering hole of eligible ladies. and if she doesn't, why is she your friend?

EDIT: or better yet... take her up on the hiking thing. if all else fails and she won't hang out one-on-one then you still have an opportunity to resolve the burning question once and for all: is she fucking around with me or does she seriously like me. by putting things in public you take the pressure off of her, but still give yourself access to do some investigation. and it's not all about the physical shit either. doing an activity like hiking gives you a chance to stimulate her on various levels, and with luck, you'll be balls-deep by weekend's end.

I wouldn't say we've been long term friends. A few years I guess, but not the hang-out every weekend and I've been madly in love with her for years shit. If we see each other out she'll give me a nice chesty hug, chat for a bit, and we'll try to make uncommitted plans.

I'll give her a ring or text tomorrow about hiking and see what happens.

[TylerDurden]

I've fucked most of my girl friends. Take it from me..... forget about it.

i've had those experiences as well. didn't date, didn't flirt, none of that shit. typically they wanted to fuck me to get back at their cheating boyfriends, so me being the swell guy i am had to step up to the plate. after the experiences, i suddenly had females that wanted to date me despite me having no desire to tie myself down.

i'm no longer friends with any of them.

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

It ends up pissing off your other friends. You end up listening to way too many stupid remarks that are meant to be funny, but instead just piss you the fuck off. Everyone expects that any time you're with the friend you fuck her, or worse the girl herself expects you to fuck her whenever you hang out. Then she starts over criticizing any girl you hit on, and then flat out sabotages your chances with girls you'd like to date. It's a bad deal.

[Hodge]

It ends up pissing off your other friends. You end up listening to way too many stupid remarks that are meant to be funny, but instead just piss you the fuck off. Everyone expects that any time you're with the friend you fuck her, or worse the girl herself expects you to fuck her whenever you hang out. Then she starts over criticizing any girl you hit on, and then flat out sabotages your chances with girls you'd like to date. It's a bad deal.
QFT, again.

Well, that solves my other problem.

[ruffdog]

i'm tempted to cheat

help

[Datači]

How old is your current gf? 16?

[Datači]

Oh and do it.

[ruffdog]

18


asshole

[comicfan]

How long have you guys been dating?

[ruffdog]

almost a year

[Datači]

Is that still the same girl? You know, the 17yo one?

[comicfan]

Then you need to answer a bunch of questions for yourself:

Would you feel guilty if you did?
What would she do if she found out (and she will find out)?
Is the relationship important to you?
What is the motivation behind cheating?

[mongo]

pics of both girls or i can not help.

[ruffdog]

Then you need to answer a bunch of questions for yourself:

Would you feel guilty if you did?
What would she do if she found out (and she will find out)?
Is the relationship important to you?
What is the motivation behind cheating?

1 I would probably feel guilty about cheating on my gf.....unlike the other times with the past gf
2. she probably wont find out.
3 yeah but this other chick is smoking hot
4. i like pussy

[ruffdog]

pics of both girls or i can not help.

give me bj first

[comicfan]

So if she was to break up with you, would you be ok with it. Cause if not, then I would not bother tempting fates. And yes, all women seem to find out some way (do not ask me how... maybe they have their own internet system, like womenet which they communicate through or something, but out of 20 people I know who have cheated on their partner, all 20 have been found out).

[ruffdog]

i'll flip a coin

[ruffdog]

fuck ...tails.

ok 1 more time

[comicfan]

That works too.

[ruffdog]

damnit....0-2

ok fine I wont do it

[TylerDurden]

i'm tempted to cheat

help

why are you tempted to cheat?

if this chick is better looking than your current chick, then dump your current and trade up.

if she's not, then is it because she'll do crazy shit in the sack that your current gf won't?

if you answer yes then you can either tell your current gf to start being open minded, or dump your current gf and trade up.

if it's because you're not really into your current gf anymore, you need to ask yourself whether it's due to her or yourself. if it's due to her, get the fuck outta there FIRST, and then bang this newbie. if it's you, put this newbie on hold and ride it out for a few weeks with your current. if after that time you still want to hit the newb, break up with your current and do what you want.

but whatever you do, don't just cheat. break up with her first. no one likes to be cheated on, and unless she's a whore of babylon i doubt your current gf has done anything to warrant such nasty revenge.

[Candycane]

damnit....0-2

ok fine I wont do it


Is this that young girl you were dating last year?

[The Dude]

i'm tempted to cheat

help
i'm pretty sure we've been through all of this somewhat recently, just look back a few pages. if you don't see it, look back a few more.

[mongo]

or just man up and stab some new poon.

[UNC]

It hard to get over the pain.

[mongo]

that's why god made alcohol.

[Jack Bauer]

if your sure she wont find out then go for it.

[TylerDurden]

if your sure she wont find out then go for it.

false. when you're sure she won't find out is exactly when she'll find out. man the fuck up and break it off if you intend on dipping your worm in something strange.

[Banon]

No matter who you with one day they will cheat on you. It today's way of life. Be it mentally or physically people think and act on cheating all the time. Get yours while you can, the guilty feeling goes away but the regret of not pounding hot poon never will.

James Banon 8:40

[Limp]

It's 8:42

[TylerDurden]

No matter who you with one day they will cheat on you. It today's way of life. Be it mentally or physically people think and act on cheating all the time. Get yours while you can, the guilty feeling goes away but the regret of not pounding hot poon never will.

James Banon 8:40

ordinarily i'd agree with you, but we differ on this one, broseph. you're only perpetuating the behavior of the women you speak of by taking this stance.

[Limp]

Fuck bitches.

[Banon]

show me a faithful woman and I'll fuck her.

[TylerDurden]

show me a faithful woman and I'll fuck her.

corrected for truth.

[Pax Britannia]

Whilst I think Banon is being a little too cynical women these days are now pretty much as bad as men. A good friend of mine has cheated on every single one of her boyfriends.

[TylerDurden]

Whilst I think Banon is being a little too cynical women these days are now pretty much as bad as men. A good friend of mine has cheated on every single one of her boyfriends.

i would cheat with wii.
i see you hidin' out down there. <3

[Pax Britannia]

I wouldnt cheat on my girlfriend. But i'd laugh loudly at Wii's jokes to make her jealous.

[WigglingWii]

I'm lurking. Lurky lurk...

[TylerDurden]

I wouldnt cheat on my girlfriend. But i'd laugh loudly at Wii's jokes to make her jealous.

like i said, if i found someone that clicked with me more than my current gf... i'd break up with the current first, then take my chances with the newb.

if you don't want to have the respect or courtesy to handle loose ends properly, stay the fuck out the game.

[Pax Britannia]

like i said, if i found someone that clicked with me more than my current gf... i'd break up with the current first, then take my chances with the newb.

if you don't want to have the respect or courtesy to handle loose ends properly, stay the fuck out the game.

Thats pretty much my philosophy.

[ElemenoP]

why are you tempted to cheat?

if this chick is better looking than your current chick, then dump your current and trade up.

if she's not, then is it because she'll do crazy shit in the sack that your current gf won't?

if you answer yes then you can either tell your current gf to start being open minded, or dump your current gf and trade up.

if it's because you're not really into your current gf anymore, you need to ask yourself whether it's due to her or yourself. if it's due to her, get the fuck outta there FIRST, and then bang this newbie. if it's you, put this newbie on hold and ride it out for a few weeks with your current. if after that time you still want to hit the newb, break up with your current and do what you want.

but whatever you do, don't just cheat. break up with her first. no one likes to be cheated on, and unless she's a whore of babylon i doubt your current gf has done anything to warrant such nasty revenge.

I agree with Tyler... but to make things easier...

Just break up with your current GF. The fact that you're even considering cheating on her is enough to say that the relationship is in shambles.

If you break up with her, you can still fuck this girl or guy and then come back to her later if you want. It's much easier to come back to a relationship when you haven't cheated.

And if you break up with her and you don't end up fucking this other person -- you can see what things are like without the GF to gage how happy/unhappy you are without her and then go from there.

Noone deserves to be cheated on. Either way whether or not she finds out, you're going to feel guilty and it's going to put a strain on the relationship... so just cut to the chase and break up.

Whether or not you come back to it again is entirely up to both of you.

[TylerDurden]

I agree with Tyler... but to make things easier...

Just break up with your current GF. The fact that you're even considering cheating on her is enough to say that the relationship is in shambles.

If you break up with her, you can still fuck this girl or guy and then come back to her later if you want. It's much easier to come back to a relationship when you haven't cheated.

And if you break up with her and you don't end up fucking this other person -- you can see what things are like without the GF to gage how happy/unhappy you are without her and then go from there.

Noone deserves to be cheated on.

quite. i agree 100%.

But it doesn't count if she's bound, gagged, and blindfolded. ~ James Banon

[Pax Britannia]

I wouldnt cheat on my girlfriend. But i'd laugh loudly at Ele's jokes to make her jealous.

[NOTKyle]

So my girl is 100% Armenian. And if any of you have seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, where the greek family won't take the white bread dude seriously, you get the picture of what I'm facing.

Her mom refuses to take our relationship seriously because I'm not Armenian, and my girl says that its starting to strain the relationship she has with her mom. Her mom has been cool to me the few times I've seen her, and seems like she likes me. I think literally the only reason I'm not being taken seriously is due to my unknown European heritage.

This is racism right? Is this any different than a white mom hating a black boyfriend just for being black?

[mongo]

you're not an american citizen?


GTFO!

[Will-Kill]

I would say that would kind of make her a Bigot, she doesn't hate you for what you are but she doesn't like you because you are different. Over time if her mom can't accept you then that's her problem, if you make her daughter happy then she should be happy....would she rather have someone in her race that treats her daughter like crap or just settle with you? (yeah its a extreme difference but she should grow up and be happy her daughter is happy)

[Jack Bauer]

just punch her in the ovaries

[Will-Kill]

Or in the Dejurem

[ruffdog]

i need help buying a gift that has/will have sentimental value
and that will last a long time. preferably to mark a special date.

and no im not buying any fucking diamonds

[The Dude]

I'm almost certain you've asked this question before

[ruffdog]

yes and i failed miserably last time

[Pharon]

i need help buying a gift that has/will have sentimental value
and that will last a long time. preferably to mark a special date.

and no im not buying any fucking diamonds
How about herpes?

~Leah

[ruffdog]

no thanks

[WET HOT MESS]

A baby.

[Pharon]

A baby.
Let's make one for him.

[ruffdog]

i dont want retarded asian babies

[BIG PIZZLE]

Hows about a picture frame with a picture of your junk.

[Pharon]

dick in a box?

[The Dude]

yes and i failed miserably last time

sentimental value is a completely subjective term. without very specific details about the relationship, inside jokes, special dates, etc---how the hell do you expect someone to suggest something that would have sentimental value?


if it was me, i'd probably have a bracelet made

[ruffdog]

i buy her enough jewelery as it is

[The Dude]

right, but is what you buy something that anyone could buy or something specifically made with her in mind?


fuck it, you're beyond help. As I said, no one who isn't party to the situation can give you advice on something with sentimental value.

[jemeske]

A gift that has sentimental value probably isn't going to be discovered by internet weirdos like Anita.

[WET HOT MESS]

Make her something.

[hatepoppy]

you should photoshop your face over each of the cats from the backstreet boys in their pablo francisco poses. and make a 4'x6' fucking poster of it.

[ruffdog]

done

[The Dude]

Make her something.


kid can't fucking tie his shoes without asking whether he should loop over or under and you expect him to make somthing?

[Jack Bauer]

how about getting her a frame with pictures of shit you guys did together. im pretty lame a presents. i usually just buy expensive shit as to look as though i put thought into it

[Bizz]

i need help buying a gift that has/will have sentimental value
and that will last a long time. preferably to mark a special date.

and no im not buying any fucking diamonds

How about adopting an endangered animal such as a panda bear and naming it something relevant, then give her the certificate.

Or you could have a star named after her.

If either of those don't get you some muddy fucking then you have no game.

[hatepoppy]

does the bitch work? if so, is it an office w other broads? bc you could like order some personalized vermont teddy bear and have it delivered to her at work. that way, the other cuntsll get all drippy and jealous like on teh commercial, and you have a commemorative keepsake thats like, vaginal and stuff.

[mongo]

pop her anal cherry. she'll remember it for a long long time.

[Datači]

Unless she's really drunk like mongo was when i popped his.

[Jericho]

What did you get her last time that failed miserably?

[Jack Bauer]

a dead puppy?

[hatepoppy]

does the bitch work? if so, is it an office w other broads? bc you could like order some personalized vermont teddy bear and have it delivered to her at work. that way, the other cuntsll get all drippy and jealous like on teh commercial, and you have a commemorative keepsake thats like, vaginal and stuff.
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[mongo]

What did you get her last time that failed miserably?

a gmf account.

[Satan]

Someone needs to change the thread title to "ruff is hopeless".

[hatepoppy]

buy her a big black fuckin dildo.

[Jericho]

Ruffdog has girls like a fuckin dickhead

[The Dude]

Ruffdog couldn't catch an STD with Tommy Lee's dick

[hatepoppy]

Ruffdog has girls like a fuckin dickhead
and boys like a fuckin buttjoel?

[Da Raider]

i need help buying a gift that has/will have sentimental value
and that will last a long time. preferably to mark a special date.

and no im not buying any fucking diamonds

I gave you good advice this time last year. You admitted it was good, went and did the opposite and fucked everything up.

Moran.

[Jack Bauer]

what was your advice raider?

[The Dude]

i believe it was "kill yourself"

[Ninja Pope]

So, I had a date with a 20-year-old last night. Nice face, GREAT body. She wants to see me again today and has already offered to buy me dinner on Friday. Then she invited me on a double date with some friends of hers on Saturday.

Should I hit it, or am I risking a Stage 5 Clinger situation?

[mongo]

put it in her ass.


oh, and post pics. now.

[Ninja Pope]

put it in her ass.


oh, and post pics. now.

I just met her last night, so I don't have any quality pics yet. When I have them, I'll post them.

[ruffdog]

more like ruffdog wins