King of the Action-Quip

[The GWD]

So you've just had your ass handed to you; fair enough, you probably deserved it. But for your assailant to be cool-headed enough to make a witty remark before, during, or after the ass-kicking/killing seems like an unnecessary blow to your self-esteem. Moderators can add somebody if they really see fit. I know you do that anyway. Brobees are gay. But I think I've got it down to the cream of the crop. So - Who is the Master of Action One-Liners?

Arnold Schwarzenegger

http://growabrain.typepad.com/growabrain/sch2.jpg

Examples:

"Stick around!" - Predator
"Let off some steam!" - Commando
"Hasta La Vista, Baby" - Terminator 2




Sylvester Stallone

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Sylvester-Stallone---Rambo-Photograph-C10102449.jpeg

Examples:

"You're gonna regret this the rest of your life - both seconds of it" - Demolition Man
"My contribution to birth control" - Tango & Cash
"Death. Court's adjourned." - Judge Dredd



Bruce Willis

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Bruce-Willis-Photograph-C11796808.jpeg

Examples:

"Yipee Kiya, Motherfucker" - Die Hard
"Looks like you won't be attending that hat convetion in July" - Hudson Hawk
"Who's the best cop now?" - Stiking distance



Steven Seagal

http://www.thebestmartialartsmovies.com/images/Steven%20Seagal.jpg

Examples:

"This is for my wife. Fuck you and die" - Hard to Kill
"One thought he was invincible, the other thought he could fly. They were both wrong" - Marked for Death
"You think this is being shot? This ain't being shot." - Under Siege 2

[Poop Sailboat]

great poll or greatest poll?

[Poop Sailboat]

Hey Sully, you know what I said about killing you last?




I lied.

[Eradicator30]

SEE YOU AT TEH PARTY RIGGSTER!!!

[ShitBreak]

Bruce Campbell.

[nuclearjew]

SEE YOU AT TEH PARTY RIGGSTER!!!
*Rick-ta

[Poop Sailboat]

Commando alone should make everyone vote for Arnold.

[Eradicator30]

Total Recall seriously has some of the best lines ever, and not just by Arnold.

Who told you to think? I DON'T GIVE YOU ENOUGH INFORMATION TO THINK!

Hey man, I got five kids to feed!

[nuclearjew]

VNaDZIrxh-0

[Le Goat]

Bruce Fucking Willis

[nuclearjew]

Surf's up, pal!

[The GWD]

Commando alone should make everyone vote for Arnold.

Demolition Man alone makes Sly a serious contender.

[Poop Sailboat]

and isn't "let off some steam" actually "let off some steam, bennett"?


not to be a purist or anything.

[The GWD]

and isn't "let off some steam" actually "let off some steam, bennett"?


not to be a purist or anything.

I've adapted that phrase into my everyday speech pattern so much so that the Bennet part has become useless to me.

Forget the movie, it's all about the lines.

[medlar]

"If I'm not me ..who the hell am I??"

[Philip Lombard]

Commando alone should make everyone vote for Arnold.
no contest

[Draven X 23]

No Clint Eastwood? Bruce Lee? Vin Diesel? Keanu Reeves? Christian Bale? or Sean Connery?

[nuclearjew]

YOU BLEW MY COVAHHHH!!!!!

[nuclearjew]

No Clint Eastwood? Bruce Lee? Vin Diesel? Keanu Reeves? Christian Bale? or Sean Connery?
hahahah

[Le Goat]

No Clint Eastwood? Bruce Lee? Vin Diesel? Keanu Reeves? Christian Bale? or Sean Connery?
preferably no you, but we'll settle for no them.

[Eradicator30]

Hahaha. You think this is the real Quaid? IT IS! *shoots everybody*

[Draven X 23]

Bruce Willis. You can have your cheesy Arnold quotes. I'll take the more bad ass ones. And Die Hard alone should win this for Bruce. And that was 20 years ago.

John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.

Supervisor (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0416429/): Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only...
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

Hans Gruber (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000614/): I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further...
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I decided to give you a call.
Hans Gruber (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000614/): Eh, that's... very kind of you, considering you are a mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Bzzzt. Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
[Indicating cigarettes in dead man's pocket]
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Whoa, these are very bad for you.
Hans Gruber (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000614/): Who are you then?
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.

John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): [huddled in an air vent, John pulls out his lighter, flicks it on, and recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...”

Hans Gruber (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000614/): This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): That was Gary Cooper, asshole.

Hans Gruber (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000614/): Attention Mr. Cowboy, or should I call you... Mr. McClane? Mr. Officer John McClane of the New York Police Department?
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Sister Teresa called me Mr McClane in the Third Grade. My friends call me John... and you're neither, shithead.

Dwayne T. Robinson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0322339/): I got a hundred people down here, and they're all covered in glass.
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0322339/): This is Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge here.
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Oh you're in charge? Well, I got news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne T. Robinson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0322339/): You listen to me, you little asshole...
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now you listen to me jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!

John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Drop it, dickhead. It's the police.
Tony (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0936591/): You're not going to hurt me.
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Oh, yeah? Why not?
Tony (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0936591/): Because you're a policeman. There are rules for policemen.
John McClane (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000246/): Yeah. That's what my captain keeps telling me.

[nuclearjew]

Most of those aren't quips.

[Papelgod]

Commando alone should make everyone vote for Arnold.

The Running Man also had some pretty awesome quips.

It doesn't get much better than those two.

[Draven X 23]

So only puns are allowed?

[nuclearjew]

So only puns are allowed?
Who is the ass-kicking, one-liner spewing master?
King of the Action-Quip

[Eradicator30]

Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero!

[Draven X 23]

So far the only thing Arnold has been the master of are bad Puns.

[bpb]

Van Damme didn't have any one liners?

[vasili denisov]

So far the only thing Arnold has been the master of are bad Puns.
Amber Mendez: Jesus Christ.
Ben Richards: Guess again.

[The GWD]

No Clint Eastwood? Bruce Lee? Vin Diesel? Keanu Reeves? Christian Bale? or Sean Connery?

God no.

[_mozzy_]

Willis got it on without shoes in Die Hard. That's got to be worth something.

[Alcestis]

great poll or greatest poll?

Greatest. The Governator would approve.

[Bastard]

Arnold: You think I'm funny?
JY3cJKf-IBk

[Face]

what movie is that from?

[Claydon]

This should not even be poll, more like just plain common sense.

"Remember when I said I would kill you last?....................I lied."

[ruffdog]

This should not even be poll, more like just plain common sense.

"Remember when I said I would kill you last?....................I lied."

get the quote right

[The GWD]

I had to show some love to Sly. For two reasons.

Demolition.
Man.

[Stax]

Ahnuld wins.

[Genius]

GET TO DAH MOTHAFUCKING CHOPPAH!!!!!

[Poop Sailboat]

MAAAAACK!!!! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

[Poop Sailboat]

This should not even be poll, more like just plain common sense.

"Remember when I said I would kill you last?....................I lied."

Hey Sully, you know what I said about killing you last?




I lied.

i think there's an echo in here.

[Revolver]

iMjG2s6UOaw

[misterfatt]

steven segal over JCVD? are you kidding me? lungdren has better one liners than that tassle-covered-jacket wearing homo.

double impact
Alex (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Look like me? You, of all people, should know I would never in my life wear black-silk underwear!

Alex (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Maybe I'm drunk today, tomorrow I'll be sober, BUT YOU! WILL ALWAYS BE A FAGGOT!

Alex (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): I hear all sorts of bullshit everyday, pal. You want some advice? Take your fancy clothes and your black silk underwear and go back to Disneyland.

time cop
Max Walker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Freeze!
McComb (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0798779/): Do you realize how inappropriate that word is? Do I look frozen to you?
Max Walker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): You look like shit to me!

Eugene Matuzak (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0569226/): [after catching Ricky with virtual reality porn] Goddammit Ricky, if I catch you fucking this machine again, I'll break your neck!
Ricky (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0069069/): Sorry chief.
Max Walker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Looks like safe sex to me

nowhere to run
Clydie (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000275/): Where'd you learn to fight like that?
Sam Gillen (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Law school!

[pointing a shotgun towards a prisoner who's trying to steal his car]
Sam Gillen (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Steal the car, go to hell.

Country Store Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0338783/): What you doin' out this way?
Sam Gillen (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Hunting.
Country Store Clerk (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0338783/): In a suit?... What kinda huntin'?
Sam Gillen (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): Pink flamingos.

universal soldier
Luc (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): You're discharged... sarge.

Luc (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000241/): [looking down at his groin] Is that supposed to be there?

[The GWD]

Seagal trumps that ballet motherfucker Van Damme through the sheer power of his rock.

http://www.paunchstevenson.com/photos/seagal-guitar-300x380.jpg

[The GWD]

True Story: The beginning of Commando is my favorite part of the movie.

I like how they decided to get all that bonding-with-his-daughter-crap out of the way during the opening credits. It's so unlike the rest of the movie it's just hilarious. Random shots of Arnold doing shit with his daughter. Feeding a deer, throwing her around a lake while laughing maniacally.

[Mr. Brown]

I go for bruce only b/c his lines seemed like something that would really be said in the situations.

[c_thur]

seagal