Which of these magical objects would you take?

[Insomniac]

A - a notebook full of blank paper. Whatever you need to turn in in a printed format, you will find it inside this notebook. If you're in school, it will do your homework; if you need essays, this will write them properly formatted; if you have a white collar or newspaper job, this will have them ready for you as soon as you need them.
The catch: the overall quality is only as great as if you'd done it yourself so all it really does is save you the time of doing it yourself. However, you'll never be accused of cheating.

B - a car that will transport you anywhere you need to go. All you need to do is think of a place, and the car will take you there in five minutes.
The catch: you will arrive at your destination five minutes later than you honestly intend. That is, if you plan to go somewhere at 7:45 because you really want to be there at 7:50 or 8:00, you'll still get there at 7:55 or 8:05

C - a pen that writes the modern equivalent of Shakespeare or Joyce or Voltaire. Basically, you will almost universally be considered a genius.
The catch: once the ink runs out, the pen is worthless.

D - a wallet with an infinite amount of money in it.
The catch: it's all in one dollar (or the smallest non-decimal currency of your country) bills and people will naturally grow suspicious if you spend too much of it.

[Archangel]

The notebook. Easy.

I'm fucking great at writing, I'm just lazy. With that thing, I'd have tenure by age 35.

[zeronine]

Gotta go with the wallet. I could buy all the writing and car rides I needed with unlimited funds.

[TheLibrarian]

I'll take the wallet. Our smallest bill is $5 anyway.

[Archangel]

€1 coins? No thanks.

[vasili denisov]

The car. Right now, I'm always 15-20 minutes late. This'll cut it down to five.

[kid_vidrio]

I'm all 'car' too.
I'll never be universally recognized as a genius, and wouldn't want it on the back of some pen anyway, and as much as I like to travel, I can do without the process some times.
And, like vasili, I'm usually late anyway.

[Willam]

The Wallet. Hello dollar beer night and strip bars!!!!!

[Mustard]

I could get way more money if I had the notebook than the wallet.

Notebook.

[nickadams]

If I say the notebook, do I get to sex up Rachel McAdams in an abandoned building? No?
The wallet then. I'll just tell people I'm a carnie.

[Bill Paxton]

I'd take the wallet. And then buy one of each of the remaining items with my infinitely huge bank account.

[freegood]

If I could write 3 great plays/epic novels that I want to read, I'd choose the pen. But a pen could probably fit in a quarter of a play or a handful of short stories. Not much to make a book out of.

Notebook is definitely a time saver. Though the real catch might be the declining quality of your work for relying on it too much...

[Tar Heel]

What does this car look like? Is it some kind of crazy hooked-up Delorian, or is it all gay looking like a Prius?

[Bill Paxton]

What does this car look like? Is it some kind of crazy hooked-up Delorian, or is it all gay looking like a Prius?

It would fit the owner's style/personality.

So yours would be a pink prius wrapped in tampons.

[Tar Heel]

Sweet.

Does that mean yours would hate itself and be filled with razorblades?

[Bill Paxton]

Sweet.

Does that mean yours would hate itself and be filled with razorblades?

Yep, and it will leak transmission fluid out of its headlights as if to simulate tears...

[Fuh Q]

Gotta be the car for me. I have no use for the notebook, I dont really care whether people think Im a genius or not. The wallet full of £5 notes would be interesting, and no doubt useful, but as much as I moan about being poor, it gives me something to aspire to, if I had everything I wanted, life would be boring.
Im tired of using overpriced and crappy public transport, which takes a lot of time and a lot of money. At least with the car I wouldnt have to waste money on petrol (Im assuming?), wouldnt have to sit in traffic jams, or wait at bus stops, or hire taxis who charge £1x10^50 to go 3 miles. I could relax, comfortable in the knowledge that I will only ever be 5 mins late. Plus when I retire and dont really travel much anymore, I can sell it for millions of pounds and have a happy end to my life. Or if my health is shot, make someone else happy.

[misterfatt]

the wallet would save valuable time at the ATM and changing out for singles to make it rain.

[Da Raider]

wallet. That would enable me to quit working.

[Kilgore]

Pen

Having my name spoken and words read hundreds of years from now is better then a few bucks in my wallet now.

[chaos2015]

i would take the car and just travel the world

[Marshy]

the car. all you do is just plan on being 5 minutes late and adjust accordingly.

[misterfatt]

if you had the wallet, you could just buy the other magical objects.

[Banon]

Summer's tits need to be an option.

[TheImpossibleMan]

The car is by far the most worthless. The pen is the most tempting, but seems like fool's gold, as you wouldn't be able to write a single novel with just one pen. The wallet promises infinite money in small bills while the notebook is a time saving device. I'd take the wallet - I actually like learning and working, and the notebook would deny me the chance to actually learn something.

[misterfatt]

Summer's tits need to be an option.
they're more mythical than magical, like a unicorn.

they'll never be tamed.

[Bill Paxton]

maybe i'd take the pen and just write really clever comic strips for the rest of my life.

EDIT: Thats probably what the guy from PBF took. Now his pen has run out.

[Marshy]

i guess after thinking it over... i'd take the wallet because you would never have to leave a strip joint again.

[Rover]

If I could write 3 great plays/epic novels that I want to read, I'd choose the pen. But a pen could probably fit in a quarter of a play or a handful of short stories. Not much to make a book out of.

Notebook is definitely a time saver. Though the real catch might be the declining quality of your work for relying on it too much...Insomniac specifically cites Joyce though. Joyce only wrote 1 book, 1 really, really long book. Plenty of great authors have only written 1 book. If I could get a Proust or Joyce length novel out of the pen, I'd go with that. But I wouldn't go for the one novel to propel me into life after death. I'd pump out 250 page Grisham novels that would eliminate my need for a magical wallet.

[zillionaire]

Oh, yeah... the car. I am content in every other aspect of my life, but I do wish I could travel more. If the magic car didn't need to be filled with magic fuel, I wouldn't need the magic wallet.

[heelsguy]

the pen.

i would write the next great screenplay--outline first, in case the ink runs out too quickly--going back and filling in details and script dialog etc. I would sell it and be rich

[Mr. Brown]

I'm decent when I have to do reports and that's all my job really is. I'd be able to open up my resume building company and not have to do much or any work. I could go back take classes, learn what I want and not have to worry about the last min 20 essays.

[freegood]

Thinking about the dollar bills... Just open up a vending machine company as a front.

[spentrent]

I'd take the wallet. I'd pay people to be my wallet miners and dollar processors.

"Take whatever you want, but make sure I have 10 grand in 100 dollar bills by the end of the day."

That answer is probably not in the spirit of the question, or maybe it is.


Why not the notebook? I like to write. Why take something that does it for me?

Why not the car? This was a close call for me. Awesome device for a chronically impatient fuck like myself. I figure I'd rather have funds than instant travel. What's the longest trip anywhere anyway? A couple of weeks? The trip itself usually turns out to be rewarding.

Why not the pen? I've already convinced myself that I'm brilliant. Do I care whether I am remembered by generations to come? No.


In the end, cash on hand is a life enabler. You can do anything you want, right now.

[halfabubbleoff]

Easy. the notebook.

I am already considered skilled at poetry and prose. I just lack the time to put ink to page. With this, I could quit my "day job" and write full time!

[momsshizzle]

I'll take the car.

[Philips25]

Wallet... smallest denomination note in the UK is a £5, I'd be fine with that.

[Nosebuckle]

The wallet. I would just have to adapt to changing money like a drug kingpin/stripper and I'd be set

[hatepoppy]

this is a tremendously gay thread.

carry on.

[yard]

i'd have the wallet.....

keep cashing in the ones for larger denomination

[NOTKyle]

I'm a lazy fuck, so the notebook it is.

Plus I'm a counterfitter, so it'll just produce my $100 billz anyway.

DONE AND DONE

[VoxAngelikus]

Thinking about the dollar bills... Just open up a vending machine company as a front.



Or just tell people you're a bartender.


I'd take the car. So many places to see, so little time to travel to them. If I could see the Northern Lights, or the Grand Canyon, or anywhere I wanted within 5 minutes, what the fuck do I care if I show up 5 minutes late?

[Area Man]

The others are cool the but the honest answer has to be the wallet. It would take away any fear of starving to death and it would give me the freedom to do whatever I want without having to always consider the prudent option.

All of these could be used to make millions but the wallet is a guaranteed solution

[Insomniac]

The car is by far the most worthless.


Actually, the car could probably earn you the most money and be the most beneficial, to yourself and the human race.

[Will-Kill]

Wallet, it would be nice to never worry about bills, food, rent, clothes etc

I could work for fun and not worry living paycheck by paycheck, buy all the food I want, live where I want to live and buy the best clothing, and Travel to where ever I want.

[Jason]

The wallet. No one would be suspicious if you got a part time job at a fair or a carnival. Carnies are always bringing loads of ones to the bank.

[MemphisVon]

The Car.

Who cares about being on time anyway...

[MDiver01]

the wallet sounds the best but how do you buy a car with ones or anything expensive?

[MemphisVon]

A shitload of ones

[Kerjack]

the wallet sounds the best but how do you buy a car with ones or anything expensive?


You go to the bank and have them count and change it out a briefcase at a time.

[MDiver01]

wouldnt it be weird coming in with $30000 in ones?

[Kerjack]

For $30,000 I really don't care.

[Jason]

wouldnt it be weird coming in with $30000 in ones?

There are plenty of good excuses. Perhaps you own an arcade and you need to empty out the quarter exchanging machine. Or a vending machine.

[hatepoppy]

with the wallet, you could like, totally buy infinite scratch off lottery tickets. you could use them to launder the magic dough. and you're only ever taking out one dollar at a time, who's gonna know?

[epyon001]

the notebook -- research and writing makes up the majority of my work day

[BooBooBear]

Why the wallet of course. :D

[Draven X 23]

I'd go Notebook. I'm very lazy when it comes to writing out anything.

[MemphisVon]

with the wallet, you could like, totally buy infinite scratch off lottery tickets. you could use them to launder the magic dough. and you're only ever taking out one dollar at a time, who's gonna know?

http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l266/Revolos55/Macros/GuinnessBrilliant.jpg

[DjAg]

I love writing and already have people asking me to write love letters for them and such, so the ntoebook and pen are out... I'd have to flip a coin between the car and the wallet since I, like everyone else, am always late anyways.

If I HAD to choose, I'd pick the car... I'd leave 4 minutes late and arrive in a single minute. Sweet. Although I'm probably misunderstanding something and fucked that all up.

[Roll]

Wouldn't Option B break the space-time continuum?

[MDiver01]

the catch of the car is that even if you tried to leave 5 mins early so you could make it on time, it would still get you there 5 mins late.

[Roll]

Teleportation shmeleportation. I'm taking Option 4 to the titty bar, for sure.

[Kerjack]

My wallet has fourteen ones in it right now, lets see what happens when I take them out.


...


....


...


Maybe it has to boot up or something.

[Charlatan]

The notebook's a fairly easy choice for me. I do good work, but I'm so damn lazy.

[rectifier]

Is the wallet empty?

[Sir Droopy]

The wallet. Though my penmanship is enviable, I don't have a writer's mind, so the notebook would go to waste as well. Plus, how would I tip you for washing my car & clearing out my driveway of snow?

[G-Bus]

Car for me. Time isn't of concern when your seeing the world.

[phule]

Notebook, I can write, i just don't taking the time to fini

[MDiver01]

that was gay

[dadaelus]

The wallet. (Hope it says Bad Motherfucker on it.) I would become the patron saint of strip clubs. All singes, but I pay by the minute.

[freegood]

Note to self: anyone walking to the bank with a wad of ones, steal their money and take their wallet.

[Area Man]

or ask if they'll strip for you

[Insomniac]

I don't know if it's worthy of a bump, but I wondered if anyone had changed their mind.

[freegood]

I could take the wallet open up a paper mill/recycling plant and have an infinite supply of material. Make a house out of ones.

This would probably make more money than the rate of transferring bags and bags of ones and reduce the chances my employees getting wise.

If I was really hard up, I could add some zeroes to my ones...

[the creeps]

wallet, it is automatic. everything else requires some level of work on your part. with the wallet all you have to do is pull ones out all day.

who gives a shit if people look at you funny. at least you are not paying with pennies.

[vasili denisov]

The notebook

Your government descends into tyranny. You're inducted into the federal workforce, and through the power of your magical notebook, you are able to offer incredibly productive assistance in your country's campaign of genocide.

The car

Our comprehension of time is wrong; our neurological construct of a brief universal instance is expanded into billions of years. The car, is five minutes late in this time outside of human consciousness. You go to a bar to meet a girl, expecting to be five minutes late, and find yourself on an earth now a cold rock, the sun a burnt out cinder. You have some awareness of your mistake in the moment that you asphyxiate, the planetary atmosphere having long ago evaporated, your death a mercy from a lonely existence as the last man on earth.

The pen

It creates a poetic, yet monstrous paean to brutal nihilism, a work of magnetic violence that would do the Marquis De Sade proud. You ask yourself whether it is your own consciousness that willed this, or whether the pen created independent of you. Those who find your work alluring are cruel aesthetes, others are repelled by it. Though you know it will make you famous (and infamous), you are so upset that this work represents humanity's final essence and purpose that you burn it.

The wallet

Another, equally downbeat episode.

[Archangel]

wallet, it is automatic. everything else requires some level of work on your part. with the wallet all you have to do is pull ones out all day.

who gives a shit if people look at you funny. at least you are not paying with pennies.

I'd rather spend my time writing essays than pulling out bank-notes all day.

[taters]

Notebook. Arriving late isnt worth arriving at all. Having infinite ones would eventually get me arrested and my secret found out, and I would never want recognition for any kind og writing that I did not actually do.

Time saved is something that has value in itself, you cant get it back once you loose it, and its not cheating because its your own work.

[freegood]

I'd rather spend my time writing essays than pulling out bank-notes all day.

One dollar is a drop in the bucket in the face of big money. One of those cool suitcases filled with primarily ones would have less than 2 thousand dollars inside.

The paper mill idea is probably the best way to make the wallet into a waterfall. Or maybe if gas prices are up, you burn the money at an incinerator and power up a city.

Devil's in the details. If you accidentally wished for a 100 billion bucks, your city could be flooded with now useless money.

[BIG PIZZLE]

To the strip club *****!

[007]

The car, it's like the movie "jumper"

[vxicexv]

The wallet. I am on board with the strip club idea.

[Archangel]

Tells you a lot about a person when he's basically offered the opportunity to write an amazing play or novel, but instead goes "lulz make it rain at teh club".

[medlar]

It's a hard choice between the car and the notebook.

Homework is always on the back of my mind and nothing is worse when your watching a movie or doing anything else but. I get alot of it being in my last year, and seeing as I'm maintaining my grades, it would be good to have less of it cutting into my valuable leisure time with this notebook to take care of the business. Cuts down on the procrastination to get things started.

Beyond school this notebook is going to make certain that any architectural, landscaping design, novel manuscript or recipe and will efficiently place/dispose the soccer players of my top euro team. All that I do will be outstanding.

[Phil Theehor]

The pen for me.

I can get myself places, write whatever I need for work and earn a good living. What I could never do (my own Salieri's lament, perhaps) is write the Great American Novel. Writing is not itself the issue—it’s the lack of inspiration. I'd give just about anything to write something great—even if it was semi-fraudulent (as it would be if I were merely acting as a channel for the pen).

[Black_Sun]

Gotta go with the wallet because I'm in debt. And if anyone started to get suspicious of all my singles, I'd just tell them I'm the greatest male stripper since the dawn of time.

[midnight.l2acer]

i say the notebook its the most powerfull thing there. money only takes you so far. car will break down and a pen will run out a paper is kept safe will never rip

the notebook FTW

[Kerjack]

The car creeps me out. It will take me anywhere in 5 minutes but I'll always arrive 5 minutes later then attended. But if I leave intending to get there in 5 minutes I arrive in 10 minutes. So either I blinked out of existence for 5 minutes or the car took 5 minutes longer then it was suppose to.

[justhere]

I'm a writer, so the notebook. Being able to revise my work without having to spend weeks/months reevaluating it would be a god send. Although, I'm alleviated from the pains of revising, I would be denied the joy of writing.

[wonderllama]

Wallet...you can always change it once it is out of your wallet.
Like was said earlier, if you have enough money, you can buy a car, buy a pen, buy a notebook.

With enough money, you won't NEED to visit other people in a hurry, they'll be coming to you and it won't matter if you are late...you're rich!