When Was The Last Time You Had Sex?

[MDiver01]

I had it three times yesterday and I'm still worn out.

[bk3030]

about an hour ago.

[6655321]

a couple of days ago, i was a stallion.

[Mustard]

with another person?

[leafsmack0]

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b365/leafsmack0/1184740564641.jpg

this is a graphic depiction of my last sexual encounter.

[Mustard]

You had sex with Jesus?

[6655321]

in the mountains whilst holding a lamb.

[leafsmack0]

You had sex with Jesus?

No I had sex with a lamb, I admit it isn't the high point of my sexual career.

[Mustard]

It would have been more awesome if you had a threeway with Jesus AND the lamb.

[SimpleSean]

The only thing that makes it worth it is the wool that's softer than a grown sheep, the tighter orifices, and of course the bleating of a lifetime. Bleating is so underrated.

[leafsmack0]

It would have been more awesome if you had a threeway with Jesus AND the lamb.

Jesus never calls me back, that's why I drink.

[Mustard]

Jesus never calls me back, that's why I drink.
You know what... fuck that guy. You can do better anyway.

[leafsmack0]

You know what... fuck that guy. You can do better anyway.

thanks man, self esteem boost to tha max!

[Mustard]

thanks man, self esteem boost to tha max!
I'm here to help...

[leafsmack0]

I'm here to help...

You sir, are truly under appreciated in this community.

[medlar]

I'm having sex right now! As I type this.

[Poop Sailboat]

too GD long ago...i wont go into details

[ShitBreak]

Like...a month. It sucks.

[Poop Sailboat]

osumike has had sex sooner than i have

*cuts*

[Gary_Busey]

Like, 15 minutes ago. My head hurts.

[Poop Sailboat]

i hate you gary, you have sex and yuengling.

[Gary_Busey]

Actually, I drank all the Yuengling...

[Poop Sailboat]

you fucker!

[danimalcrackers]

i've always loved cracking my fingers/toes/other various joints. today i had the rare experience where the base of my dong cracks during SESS. it's like the 4th time it's happened. i think i've figured out how to do it. it is amazing feeling. is this just me? :\

[Claydon]

Friday afternoon.

[}{arlequin]

what a timely post. not sure what time it takes, but i went to the kitchen to put ice in a glass, and get water, and when i came back, she was out. so, drippily, i went to the couch. where the laptop lives. so i'm about minutes out

[Claydon]

what a timely post. not sure what time it takes, but i went to the kitchen to put ice in a glass, and get water, and when i came back, she was out. so, drippily, i went to the couch. where the laptop lives. so i'm about minutes out

your use of adjectives and perhaps even onamanapia is impressive.

now make with the half naked pics of her holding a glass of mac 18.

[}{arlequin]

yes. i think we're lacking a few honeymoon pics as well

[Claydon]

yes. i think we're lacking a few honeymoon pics as well

i posted one of her in a bikini and was called a fag for taking a picture of some random woman on the beach.



im just like the democrats... i just can't win.

[Mustard]

i know how to spell onomatopoeia off the top of my head...

draw your own conclusions about my secks life from that.

[vasili denisov]

i know how to spell onomatopoeia off the top of my head...

draw your own conclusions about my secks life from that.
Nomas, Onan, nomas, troppo poesia.

[Mustard]

Did you just watch Caddyshack too?

[Face]

10 minutes ago

[Face]

for reals!

[Philip Lombard]

you watched caddyshack 10 min ago?

[The GWD]

Face, pics or it did not happen.

[Face]

you watched caddyshack 10 min ago?
CURSES!

[Face]

Face, pics or it did not happen.
who do you think I am, ruffdog?

[The GWD]

who do you think I am, ruffdog?

ON A GOOD DAY.

[Face]

ON A GOOD DAY.
I don't think I like you anymore

[Mr. Brown]

a little over a week ago.

[Mustard]

10 minutes ago
how much was she?

[Face]

how much was she?
dinner

[Mustard]

dinner
Olive Garden?

[Face]

Olive Garden?
we don't have an olive garden here

[The GWD]

how much was she?

dinner

No, Sink meant how much was she.

Not what was she.

(rimshot)

[Mustard]

we don't have an olive garden here
...please god you didn't take her to Burger King did you?

[Face]

...please god you didn't take her to Burger King did you?
no comment

[Archetype]

we don't have an olive garden here
Lies.

[Mustard]

no comment
well... at least it was cheap then.

saving clam to get the clam. good work sire.

[Face]

Lies.
we have an Olive Grove, but no Olive Garden

[Archetype]

Don't you live in Fucking Vancouver? How exactly, is this possible?

[Face]

I don't live in Vancouver

[Mustard]

we have an Olive Grove, but no Olive Garden
I think the real question on everyone's mind is this:

What did she think of your collectibles collection?

[Archetype]

Er, Victoria?

[Face]

I think the real question on everyone's mind is this:

What did she think of your collectibles collection?
she was impressed, she likes people who have creative outlets

[Face]

Er, Victoria?
bingo

[Mustard]

she was impressed, she likes people who have creative outlets
Thats awesome then.

You think this could go anywhere?

[Archetype]

she was impressed, she likes people who have creative outlets

Act fast, "outlet" mean very little.

[Face]

Thats awesome then.

You think this could go anywhere?
probably not, she's a nice girl and she's into me but she's kinda... how can I put this delicately... dumb

[The GWD]

probably not, she's a nice girl and she's into me but she's kinda... how can I put this delicately... dumb

So?

My gf's about as smart as Forrest Gump.

But...sex.

[Mustard]

there is only two acceptable things to do then mr. face.

hit it and quit it.
or hump it and dump it.

either way...

[Face]

there is only two acceptable things to do then mr. face.

hit it and quit it.
or hump it and dump it.

either way...
I'll continue to hit it as long as I can stand to

[Archetype]

My gf's about as smart as Forrest Gump.

Wow, she's old.

[The GWD]

That doesn't even make sense.

[Mustard]

well since she isn't exactly Stephen Hawking I bet you can keep taking her out to Wendy's and Taco Bell and she'll keep giving up the poontang.

[Face]

well since she isn't exactly Stephen Hawking I bet you can keep taking her out to Wendy's and Taco Bell and she'll keep giving up the poontang.
I'll take that under advisement

[Mustard]

you better. i'm the varitable king of being fat and getting cheap date poon.

[Archetype]

That doesn't even make sense.

Yeah, CBC Radio joke apparently. Wow, I'm fucked.

[Archangel]

i know how to spell onomatopoeia off the top of my head...

draw your own conclusions about my secks life from that.

you better. i'm the varitable king of being fat and getting cheap date poon.

However, "veritable" still appears to defeat you.


<3

[Mustard]

However, "veritable" still appears to defeat you.


<3
MOTHER FUCK SHIT COCK ASS!

[Archetype]

At least you're tall, sink.

[Mustard]

I prefer the adjective massive.

[Archetype]

I prefer the adjective massive.
Gigantic, humassive, bugantic, gargantuan, huge, circular, Roman, you literally got billions. Literally, but not mathematically.

[Archetype]

Fuck you all.

[Archetype]

My head has no hair.

[Archetype]

At all.

[Archetype]

Wish me had a camera.

[Fuh Q]

2 weeks ago unfortunately. I think next time, my gf's plane tickets might "go missing" unexpectedly

[Nature's Folly]

I think face getting laid is one of the signs of the apocalypse.

[xfancy]

2 weeks and 2 days ago

[hatepoppy]

3 hours and 45 mins ago.

well, 3:30 ago since i cummd'd.

i know you were wanting to know.

[medlar]

saturday night @ approx. 10:45pm till a car pulled in the driveway at 11:05 pm. It was a good way to see the summer holidays out.

[Claydon]

25 minutes ago

[Sir Droopy]

this morning at about 3:00am, the wifey and I were watching a tape of my best friends wife and his secretary getting done. :D

[BHM]

this morning at about 3:00am, the wifey and I were watching a tape of my best friends wife and his secretary getting done. :D
You, sir, are either so full of shit you're about to burst or I want to be you.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I've never had sex thread. It sounds painful.

[Hoser]

Sunday Morning about 11am.

[BooBooBear]

Last night. :)

[MDiver01]

3 hours ago, twice.

[Spanky]

2 years, 5 months, 12 days, 9 hours, and 5 minutes

[Bizz]

23 hours ago.

[White Rhino]

Fuck, My wife is trying to get pregnant. So it would be when is the last time I wasn't having sex for me. Which was back in May.

[mongo]

2 days ago. i didn't blow my wad though.

[Nature's Folly]

2 days ago. i didn't blow my wad though.

She can still get herpes even if you don't blow your load. Just saying.

[mongo]

well, it's not like your sister cares anyway.

[Nature's Folly]

well, it's not like your sister cares anyway.

She doesn't because i don't have one...thanks for playing, better luck next time. Oooo maybe a "i fucked your mom" joke is coming up...*crosses fingers and waits*

[mongo]

if i ever did fuck your mom, it's not like i'd know. after giving birth to the brother if free willy it's not like i'd feel anything anyhow.

[Philip Lombard]

if free willy what?

[Jericho]

2 days ago. i didn't blow my wad though.
That doesn't make sense. What's the fucking point

[Nature's Folly]

if i ever did fuck your mom, it's not like i'd know. after giving birth to the brother if free willy it's not like i'd feel anything anyhow.

Only a true woman could handle giving birth to someone as epic as me.

Your mother only hoped for a miscarriage, how she must curse her vagina every time she sees you.

[Void]

That doesn't make sense. What's the fucking pointThat mean's his butt-buddy buggered his poop-chute. And he didn't stimulate his prostate enough.

[White.Rabbit]

today. it was gooood

[janois]

Fuck, My wife is trying to get pregnant. So it would be when is the last time I wasn't having sex for me. Which was back in May.

Everytime my wife wanted to get pregnant, I always hoped for a few months of steady banging. But no, with my superhuman seed and her rain forest womb, one month or less before she would get knocked up.

[mongo]

That doesn't make sense. What's the fucking point

wait, there was one?

[White Rhino]

Everytime my wife wanted to get pregnant, I always hoped for a few months of steady banging. But no, with my superhuman seed and her rain forest womb, one month or less before she would get knocked up.


Maybe i smoke to much weed. The doc said I should stop.

[janois]

No, keep it up and dilute the gene pool even more. I want my kids to be validictorians.

[Jericho]

wait, there was one?
To having sex? Yeah, it's usually to bust a nut, moron

[NotAllBlack]

Ive rolled solo for at least a month

[CTricksterGirl]

Monday...twice...once at 3am, getting woken up to suck him off which led to sex, then at 11am again...what a fine labor day...

[BIG PIZZLE]

Mornign head is the greatest head.

[danimalcrackers]

morning head is the worst! you have to pee and its uncomfortable

[BIG PIZZLE]

What a crazy thought, animal crackers!

[danimalcrackers]

pee boners.

[Jericho]

seriously

[The GWD]

morning head is the worst! you have to pee and its uncomfortable

Any blowjob should never be described as "the worst". Unless if it's from a rabid, vampire-toothed hunchback.

[danimalcrackers]

i'll reword. there is no bad bj. just like pizza. there is only good pizza and REALLY good pizza.

[G-Man]

Well when you gotta go, you gotta go...

[vasili denisov]

-F6VysDNkpw

[6655321]

yesterday.

[feith]

Monday. =)

[InterningIsiah]

This morning. Wayy better then doing it at night.

[Claydon]

45 minutes ago

[RedBEARD]

I'm hoping to have my penis at least grazed upon this evening, but we shall see.

[fuldstændigamok]

Claydon's insistence on posting his masturbatory schedule is getting annoying. Or very funny. I don't know yet.

[Claydon]

Claydon's insistence on posting his masturbatory schedule is getting annoying. Or very funny. I don't know yet.

A jealous frenchmen...

shocking

[Smashing]

With my wife - yesterday.

[Daydreamer]

I'm hoping to have my penis at least grazed upon this evening, but we shall see.


Are you trying to say something about your date?

[feith]

i'm pretty sure a good fuck is the only thing that could brighten my day...
day from hell.

[Cal]

None of you people have sex, that's why you're on here.

Only admins get the pussy, that's why we're cooler then you.

[Archangel]

Wrong.


Yesterday morning, but I won't be getting any until Monday.

[feith]

None of you people have sex, that's why you're on here.

Only admins get the pussy, that's why we're cooler then you.


negative sailor.
however i rarely get pussy, so you're right about that.

[BooBooBear]

Does with myself count?

[6655321]

last night.

[Chinaski]

This morning...with my wife. Does that count?

[jimdog99]

Yesterday morning. Aunt Flo came into town last night. Bummer... Damn blocker

[IHaveNone]

Last night

[MDiver01]

yesterday

[MDiver01]

today. I am sure am bustin a lot of nut lately.




cant complain.

[Claydon]

2 days ago

[Face]

this morning

HA!

[Claydon]

this morning

HA!

face....blow up dolls do not count

[Face]

oh there was blowing...

[SrJuanBimba]

Just got laid, came here to post it!

[Crypter]

good guys don't fuck and tell..

[JohnQRotten]

2 days ago but hoping to again this morning.

[WigglingWii]

Just got laid, came here to post it!

Was it your first time?

[chipsahoy]

Was it your first time?

His mom wanted to break him in.

[Mr. Brown]

Last night it was break up sex. Well she doesn't know we're breaking up yet.

[zillionaire]

Got ma bell rung last night. 's why I'm so chipper this morning.

[medlar]

Got ma bell rung last night. 's why I'm so chipper this morning.


I have never heard that term for getting a leg over before.

Last weekend and I think there might be some potential to mention about on Sunday. sans condoms. We'll see.

[TheImpossibleMan]

Just had five hours of freaky, unprotected sex. Awesome.

[hatepoppy]

with a boy!

[BIG PIZZLE]

Just had five hours of freaky, unprotected sex. Awesome.

I bet at one point, right when that dude was about to lose his load in your ass, you thought to yourseld, "OMG I'M TOTALLY GONNA POST ABOUT THIS ON GMF!!!"

[TheImpossibleMan]

Nah, I just live-blogged it on my website.

erosionofsanity.blogspot.com (www.tubgirl.com)

[nuclearjew]

Dude you're totally rawdog.

[runlive]

Just finished...wait for it...........now.

[Gary_Busey]

Weird.



Yesterday morning. Then I went for a bike ride. Perfect way to start a day.

[Poop Sailboat]

i will put up the classic pathetic internet nerd response.


next month it'll be a year.

[TheImpossibleMan]

Got ma bell rung last night. 's why I'm so chipper this morning.
No shit, I'm not trying to diss on you or make a stereotypical internet response, but this is incredibly gay. "Got my bell rung" sounds like you got fucked in the ass. Seriously.

[Hodge]

Takes one to know one I guess.

[Poop Sailboat]

when you bone kid rock his jargon wears off on you

[Kerjack]

i will put up the classic pathetic internet nerd response.


next month it'll be a year.

Ya rly, I hate this thread.

[Poop Sailboat]

Ya rly, I hate this thread.
your response makes me feel a lot better about my own situation.

[Mustard]

why was this thread even made? all it does is promote suicide from GMF's virgins........

Ah ha! I get it now.

[mongo]

about 3 hours ago. she's ugly (skinny, but not hot), i was drunk, and the huskies lost. i figure that makes it all ok.

[Bill]

like 5 imuts ago, shes apassed out in muh bed

[Le Goat]

like 5 imuts ago, shes apassed out in muh bed

pics

[Bill]

funkc suhut shit nigg er eat muhuh shit

[The GWD]

about 3 hours ago. she's ugly (skinny, but not hot), i was drunk, and the huskies lost. i figure that makes it all ok.

Fucking Huskies. Fucking Washington sports teams in general. FUCK.

Anyways, great minds think alike, because I was just going to bring this thread up because I had sex like 3 minutes ago. And my girlfriend's totally pissed because I came right before she was going to, then I pushed her off of me.

[Bill]

bithc donot g et mad ebcau nsuie I come first bitch i was fuckming

[Archetype]

nsuie?

[Bill]

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b41/drunksincerity/337173737_l.jpg

I get to fucnk tihs on the regular!

[Archetype]

Her nose has weird silver boogers coming out of it. You should watch for that next time you take a picture of her.

[The GWD]

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b41/drunksincerity/337173737_l.jpg

I get to fucnk tihs on the regular!

Her roots are showing.

[Le Goat]

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b41/drunksincerity/337173737_l.jpg

I get to fucnk tihs on the regular!

http://jj.am/gallery/d/58111-1/mummy.jpg

[Archetype]

I kinda want. That snot is hot.

[Face]

can we see her tits? You know, so we can make an objective assessment

in other words, I want to assess her as an object

[Bill]

shierns has tiny tits but shes a chef and shes cokoks me food and sintins awesome

[The GWD]

in other words, I want to assess her as an object

She has more metal on her face than Optimus Prime, so that's not so outrageous.

[mongo]

i wouldn't fuck that w/ a skewer.

[Archetype]

shierns has tiny tits but shes a chef and shes cokoks me food and sintins awesome
I don't believe you.

pics, mother of god, pics

[The GWD]

shierns has tiny tits but shes a chef and shes cokoks me food and sintins awesome

I just realized who she reminds me of.

http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~st96d633/GIF%20image%20Veronica%20Source

Not all women bring you lasagna at work, most of 'em just cheat on you.

[Bill]

i wouldn't fuck that w/ a skewer.
im channelingin ,all my soberness intot hisn enxt phrase...

GOD YOU ARE A FAGGOT

[vasili denisov]

I'd give that wiccan a dickin. That aritificial ginger can gargle my jizzim.

[mongo]

GOD YOU ARE A FAGGOT

wanna make out?

[Bill]

wanna make out?
yes

[The GWD]

I'd give that wiccan a dickin. That aritificial ginger can gargle my jizzster.

That looks like fun, let me try.


That chicks a goth.
When I get through with her, her heart will be as cold as Hoth.


I don't think I win.

[mongo]

yes

ok, but no french kissing till the second date. just pecks for now.

[Bill]

EAT M Y COKC MNIGHGGER!

[The GWD]

http://forum.gorillamask.net/images/reputation/reputation_pos.gifWhen Was The Last Time... (http://forum.gorillamask.net/showthread.php?p=113377#post113377) 09-14-2008 01:22 AMvasili denisov (http://forum.gorillamask.net/member.php?u=45) More metal than Darth Vader, I'd like to invade her.



Vasili is like Edgar Allen Poe, wrapped in Sigmund Freud, with a fresh coat of Jim Morrison.

[Bill]

she also has like 18 tats

[mongo]

tats are yucky.

[Bill]

YOU ARE SO FUCKING GAY

[mongo]

i have this thing for chicks w/ class. sue me.

[Bill]

Class = no ass

fuck that shit, gimme trappy bitches with tats and piercings who know how to fuck any day

[Face]

i have this thing for chicks w/ class. sue me.
class huh?

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a58/face101/Herpy1.gif

how's that working out for you?

[mongo]

give me a chick who has never fucked and 3 months, i'll give you a fucing rock star.

[mongo]

also, the i love cock sig's aren't all that funny. fags.

[The GWD]

also, the i love cock sig's aren't all that funny. fags.

Sig'd!

No, I don't sig people. The only person awesome enough to sig is me.

Wait.

[Face]

also, the i love cock sig's aren't all that funny. fags.
fuck you, I think it's hilarious

[Archetype]

Sig'd!

No, I don't sig people. The only person awesome enough to sig is me.
Tempting.

[White.Rabbit]

last tuesday :(

[Jericho]

Oh, poor girl. Fuck you.

[MDiver01]

twice yesterday

[6655321]

yesterday morning and last night. and the night before that.

[Malone]

Yesterday morning and afternoon.

[MDiver01]

this afternoon.

[Satan]

KfF6hTAvQ_M

[Poop Sailboat]

KfF6hTAvQ_M
let it all out, Rich.

[RedRaider]

Saturday

[NOTKyle]

Today an "I'll do anything to you" was whispered in my ear, but a room mate was coming back in a few minutes so it's just a coupon.

What should I ask for?!?!?!

[Satan]

ATM

[NOTKyle]

I was thinking blumpkin, just to test her limits.

[Face]

shit in her mouth

[NOTKyle]

That wouldn't even be fun face. Let's get real.

[NOTKyle]

Besides, only she would enjoy the doody mouth. I need some satisfaction. My lust is unquenchable.

[Satan]

That wouldn't even be fun face. Let's get real.But it would be hysterical

[Face]

That wouldn't even be fun face. Let's get real.
oh come on, it'd be awesome!

[Face]

Besides, only she would enjoy the doody mouth. I need some satisfaction. My lust is unquenchable.
have her give you a shit mouthed blowjob after

[Satan]

and jizz in her hair, chicks love that

[NOTKyle]

Now you're talking!

[Mustard]

What should I ask for?!?!?!
3 minutes of the missionary position.

[STDSkillz]

3 minutes of the missionary position.

Aw fuck, c'mon dude, that's just dirty. Everyone was keeping it classy in here, then you showed up. Filthy shit.

[xfancy]

1 Month and 1 day ago
::cries::

[medlar]

I had such a vivid dream last night I could very well have had sex.

::applaudes Hannibal::

[White.Rabbit]

yesterday. aw yeah

[BIG PIZZLE]

Yesterday morning, in a hotel room, up against a mirror.

[MDiver01]

I had some mad make up sex 2 days ago. Awesome.

[Claydon]

6 days ago

i guess the honeymoon is over

[Face]

claydon will never have sex again

[Satan]

6 days ago

i guess the honeymoon is overhahaha

Your misery makes me feel better.

[Face]

Even I'VE had sex more recently than Claydon!

[Claydon]

hahaha

Your misery makes me feel better.

but i am working on my 6th new castle, so my misery is minimal.

plus i just finished a d/l of a new japanese porn without the mosaic censuring shit.

goooooooood times

[Face]

you're more excited to be looking at porn, than fucking your new bride

over/under on how long before divorce? I give it 3 months

[Satan]

So you got a bitch wife just so you could drink and wack it to internet porn? Be a man and go stick it in her ass.

[Claydon]

So you got a bitch wife just so you could drink and wack it to internet porn? Be a man and go stick it in her ass.

meh... she was whining about pms tonight. something about her boobs being painful or something.

[Satan]

meh... she was whining about pms tonight. something about her boobs being painful or something.
Tell her to suck it up

[Face]

meh... she was whining about pms tonight. something about her boobs being painful or something.
and what about the previous 5 days?

[Claydon]

and what about the previous 5 days?

ive been working a lot, doing a shit ton of homework, and FUCKING SPORE IS REALLY RUINING MY LIFE!

DAMN YOU EA!

[Face]

here

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a58/face101/Shovel-1.jpg

you just keep digging yourself in deeper and deeper, maybe this'll help

[Okie Medicvet]

people have sex?

[mongo]

if i was claydon and married to that thing, i'd rather jerk off too.

[The GWD]

If I was Claydon's wife I wouldn't want to be fucked, either.

[mongo]

why not? it's not like she feels anything.

[The GWD]

Nothing except shame.

[mongo]

and boredom.

[Bastard]

I imagine Claydon’s wife is an alcoholic and staggers around the house as she sloshes her drink about, while yelling rants about him being a real man and smashing his decanters, while he cowers in a corner until she passes out.

[mongo]

then she goes to the ****** next door and gets a real 12 inches.

[Claydon]

Oh the hilarity, all of you go on and on about me, which is clearly a displaced anxiety in regards to the fact that you all are still virgins.


oh and.....3 hours ago.