Dreamzzzzzzz

[Poop Sailboat]

post your weird ass dreams here.


I had a dream last night that there was Olympic soccer going on in an indoor coliseum that seated about 3000 people. It was England vs. Japan. The English guys came in with their nat'l anthem and then one of them got on the mic talking shit about America and George Bush. Of course the hometown redneck crowd was not happy. It went on for about 5 minutes then it went silent and I yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PLAY SOME FUCKING SOCCER!" The crowd went nuts. The English goalie then flipped me off. Then the Japanese team came in to a glorious cheer. Then some Japanese celebrity or beauty queen or whatever the fuck she was through a bouquet of roses at me after I was cheering for her. I tried to grab it but the guy next to me got most of it. I managed to get one rose and a cameraman from a newspaper took a picture of me with the rose in my mouth.


The End.

[Jericho]

Eerything I need to know about England,I learned from the British Bulldog

[ruffdog]

England is gay

[Genius]

Eerything I need to know about England,I learned from the British Bulldog
Everyone from England should be named Davey Boy.

[Poop Sailboat]

I DIDN'T START THIS THREAD FOR YOUR FAGGY ENGLAND LOVING!!!

[Jericho]

Don't be a dick, Craig!

[RedBEARD]

Too late.

[Poop Sailboat]

USA!!!!

[Kopek]

Last night was about about DJ and Stefanie from 'Full House' contemplating murdering Uncle Joey with a tire iron and how Carmen Electra was going to help. Add to that a short segment about the history of Don Quixote as played by Uncle Jesse and you have yourself an issue with going to sleep with that program still playing on my TV.

[NotAllBlack]

It went on for about 5 minutes then it went silent and I yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PLAY SOME FUCKING SOCCER!" The crowd went nuts.
The End.


Bygod you showed them imginary bastards. Thank goodness you didnt yell out "God shave the queen"

[Mustard]

Try to follow me on this one...

I was riding in the bed of a flat bed pickup truck with my father and my step mother. Along side me in the bed was my pet cow Bessie. (I've never had a pet cow FTR). This cow was tan and white, was very cordial, and spoke very articulately and with a British accent. Anyway we drove around on the countryside in the early morning just after sunrise, visiting various farms for apparently no reason. Eventually we drove up this hill and near the top Bessie wanted to get out because she saw some fish in a pond to the left that she wanted to eat (do cows even eat fish?). So the truck stops and Bessie gets out. I could see a car coming but she was running full speed towards the lake and I yelled out but it was futile, and Bessie ended up getting plowed head on by the car (which ended up being a purple 30s model Ford sedan). Bessie died. It was tragic.

[Face]

I've had a pet cow

[Face]

and no, cows don't eat fish

[Daydreamer]

How were the steaks?

[Mustard]

How were the steaks?
Funny you should ask... I don't know. The dream ended as I ran up to start dragging Bessie off of the road.

I imagine, since it is my dream after all, that the steaks tasted amazing, with nice marbling and very tender. It would be hard at first to eat my good friend and pet... but I'd get over it. Can't let all that beef go to waste ya know.

[Face]

It would be hard at first to eat my good friend and pet...
yeah you'd get over that pretty quick

[Mustard]

I would... but that first couple bites would all be tears of sadness. After that, they'd change to tears of joy.

[Face]

you're a sick, sick monkey

[Mustard]

Hey, food is food, and steak is steak.

[BIG PIZZLE]

I havent had a dream in a while. I may be dead inside.

[Poop Sailboat]

mother in law? sink, married?

[Mustard]

PIZZLE: QUIT KILLING HOOKERS

[Face]

Hey, food is food, and steak is steak.this is true

[Mustard]

mother in law? sink, married?
no no no... I'm not married to my mother in law. My father is.

Doh... I see my mistake. I meant step mother. my bad

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

I dreamt that I threw knives at my television, and that a guy from high school and I killed a opossum with a slingshot and ball bearing.

[Mustard]

Did the TV survive?

[Angry Ass Messican Dude]

Not in the dream. It was fucked up bad. I'm glad I wasn't sleepwalking. 1080P's aren't exactly cheap.

[Mustard]

Damn dude... what did the TV do to deserve that?

[Mustard]

I had a dream last night that I was hunting with a friend and my mom. Then outta nowhere a polar bear ate my mom whole. I felt this massive influx of rage and furiosity, and I shot the polar bear in the face with my 12 gauge. Then I tore open the polar bears chest with my bare (haha pun) hands, tore into his stomach, and rescued my mom. That was crazyness.

[WET HOT MESS]

This dream was reaaaallly long, but basically, I ended up in an Asian market and I was carrying a little girl... not mine, she was mulatto with piercing blue eyes, absolutely beautiful. Like a baby Alicia Keys. Anyway, we were singing nursery rhymes, strolling down the aisle until I smell something sweet and familiar. You know the type of familiar feeling that send goosebumps down your spine, then all over your body. If not, you probably haven't lived enough, but I gotta digress. Anyway, that smell, it was driving me crazy because I knew it, but didn't know from where. It felt like when I had words on the tip of my tongue, but couldn't quite get it and I knew it was something I'm supposed to remember but just can't reach it. Then the smell got stronger as if my nose could suddenly trace the lines of the scent, and I started walking faster down the aisles until I come to the preserved goods sections with pickled Asian stuffs. I start taking them down, settling them onto the ground and one of the people working there kept telling me I couldn't do that, but I dunno, I had to keep going. Similar to when I get inspired to do artwork, I can't put it down. So I kept pulling things off the shelf until I see a limp arm fall right down in front of me. I paused for a few seconds, then kept moving more stuff away, turned around and told the little girl to shut her eyes and sing to herself until she heard her mom's voice, and I went back to work. Turns out, behinds the shelves were a lot of dead bodies (by that time, the aisle had extended til it I couldn't see the ends) sandwiched between fencewires. The hand that had reached out to me was the last survivor (no idea how I knew it, it was a damn dream) and the lady who tried to stop me started calling security and they started arguing and I woke up.


Thanks for reading guys!

[NOTKyle]

Jesus christ.

[mbslugger89]

well i have dreams about people with fat fingers that resemble cartman.....

[White.Rabbit]

ew, anita...thats fucking scary

[mongo]

last night i had a real doozy of a dream. i was promoted to admin at gmf (sad that gmf has worked its way into one of my dreams), in the admin forum i found a secret thread about 2 members who killed themselves cause people at gmf were so mean to them. just as i was opening the thread to see what 2 members had done this, i woke up. weak.

[Blitz]

I've been having some weird dreams lately.

I dreamt that I drove past a terrible car accident. There was an old car of some sort, looked like a very old model thunderbird, and the entire front end was crumpled into the back end. It had been hit by a transport truck. There was blood on the pavement and I saw paramedics running with a body on a stretcher, down the on ramp to a highway. It was very quiet and there weren't any emergency vehicles in sight. There were birds chirping and the sun was shining brightly.

It really creeped me out.

I had another dream where I was walking down some residential areas, opening people's windows and sticking about 4-5 board games in their house. Not sure what the fuck that was all about.

Finally, I had a dream that I rescued my deceased cat. He was a house cat and he got out. I found him wandering on a busy street and quickly scooped him up before harm could find him. Too bad he was already dead.

[Summer]

I very rarely have sex dreams, so I thought I'd post this for the lulz.

Last night, I had a dream that I was fully clothed (jeans and tank top) on a sofa making out with a really young guy (like 18 or 19) In the dream, I wasn't conscious of my husband or son like I usually am, but I was of my age and remember wondering why I was about to get it on with someone so young. Anyway, there were other people in the room...a few guys and one or two girls. No one was really paying attention to us. Anyway, we started getting more into it, and the guy stopped and started apologizing to me profusely for blowing his load on my shirt. I was grossed out and mortified, and I remember trying to decide if I was going to quietly leave the room and change shirts or curse him out and humiliate him for being an idiot. So I went into a room where a girl gave me a shirt with cherries all over it and then I woke up.

[Archangel]

So Stax visited you during your REM phase?

[WET HOT MESS]

There's one dream where me and Pharrell were having a bitchslap fest. I think I popped one of his crowns. I didn't even know he had golden crowns. I think it had something to do with him wearing lots of gold and I called him Mr. T and he didn't like it. I hope El isn't mad at me.

Then there was another dream where I saved Kendra Wilkenson from execution... it's really long but there were these huge bugs, like a cross between a mosquito and a praying mantis with legs that functioned like scythes. Yeah, I saved her life and she had to crawl out of a dog hole into the streets of NYC where she got hit by a bus attached to a rollercoaster. I really dunno wtf.

And then there was another one where I was mowing some grass and then the ground became dirt and the dirt became sand and the sand turned into gold and then I buried someone in it. I dunno who, but I was making art for their tombstone.

I have been having too many weird dreams lately.

[Smuckers]

alright...I had a dream a few days ago that was stange as hell..

I'm walking into a grocery store with a friend I had in 7th grade...then theres a fight outside with teenagers. Somehow, that cuts away and now I'm crawling under a boat at a road in the middle of Kansas..then I look up and theres a tornado throttling the cornfields. I hold a man's hand (who appeared out of nowhere) and instead of running away, we just stand there and watch the tornado come our way. Then, as it inches closer, I start screaming and hug the man and then suddenly it's calm...then I'm walking into a convience store with games and see a ghost. Then, I walk out and find a letter and when I start reading it, people surrond me with condolences. But I don't know what the letter said.

That's all I remember.

[ruffdog]

alright...I had a dream a few days ago that was stange as hell..

I'm walking into a grocery store with a friend I had in 7th grade...then theres a fight outside with teenagers. Somehow, that cuts away and now I'm crawling under a boat at a road in the middle of Kansas..then I look up and theres a tornado throttling the cornfields. I hold a man's hand (who appeared out of nowhere) and instead of running away, we just stand there and watch the tornado come our way. Then, as it inches closer, I start screaming and hug the man and then suddenly it's calm...then I'm walking into a convience store with games and see a ghost. Then, I walk out and find a letter and when I start reading it, people surrond me with condolences. But I don't know what the letter said.

That's all I remember.

fag

[Da Raider]

i have strange dreams all the time, but i pretty much forget them as soon as I wake up. I had a strange dream a couple nights ago that I still remember.

I'm introduced to some South Afrikaner (atleast that's what I surmise based on his accent) for some work on his boat. Not sure what waters we are on, I just remember that they are crystal clear blue. He kinda looks like the crocodile hunter and he sports a safari hat. Anyway, there's all these wooden crates on the boats and his crew is moving all the crates. I'm about to ask him whats in the crates when one of them falls and breaks open. I see weapons and drugs spill out. I look at the guy and he has this sheepish grin on his face. He asks me if this is gonna be a problem and i tell him that I've got the entreprenerial spirit. He laughs, smiles and tells me that's why he hired me. Anywa, we end up going to do this deal with some people on this tourist boat. All I know is when we get there, the other boat is completely flooded and there's dead bodies floating everywhere. The water was warm and crystal clear and we went diving in to see what happened. There was a huge group of alligators (or crocodiles) lurking under the tourist boat. I don't recall any blood, seemed like the people all drowned. Anyway I got the fuck out of the boat. Next thing I remember, I'm in the bathroom looking at the mirror and massive amounts of blood start oozing out of my left nostril. My face looks pale white.

That's when I woke up. I have no idea what any of that shit means.

[wacker]

A couple of nights ago I had one where john ratzenberger was a family friend of my neighbour and I ran into him on my balcony.

[Smuckers]

I'm going off dreamin' after this post, but I had a "WTF?" dream last night

I'm in a town and I walk into an empty store..then I grab a tire from the wall (which was out of nowhere)...then I get some man and spin him into the tire hole..lol. Somehow, it switches to me on a slide and I land on my face and start crying. Then, suddenly I'm in fog mist on a dark trail and I see a wolf who starts asking for directions in spanish...I say 'i don't understand' and he shows his teeth but I give him ham. All I remember.

[White.Rabbit]

I had this really awful dream last night that my whole family and my boyfriend were sent to a concentration camp. which oddly enough was run by my boyfriend's israeli relatives.

We were seperated and then I watched my mom, sister and boyfriend die a horrible slow death. I somehow escaped but when I got out I couldn't find my Dad and I wasn't sure where he was or if he was even alive.

In some parts of the dream I remember being really small and flying and trying to hide. I think I was a fly or some kind of bug.

[Syndicate]

I had this fucked up dream that I got into a Westside Story type knife fight with David Bowie last night, and we were surrounded by a mob that consisted soley of the 85' Bears.

I was doing ok, and then The Thin Whit Duke stabbed me in the face, and I woke up....

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

[Jericho]

Jim McMahon laughs at you

[Mustard]

I had this fucked up dream that I got into a Westside Story type knife fight with David Bowie last night, and we were surrounded by a mob that consisted soley of the 85' Bears.

I was doing ok, and then The Thin Whit Duke stabbed me in the face, and I woke up....

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
It means that Phil Donahue will become Barack Obama's Press Secretary.

That will be $60.

[mongo]

it means i'm your daddy!

[Skybase]

I had a dream that I was at this lake place of ours with a crapload of people. Just hanging out, swimming etc when Jesus came walking down the steps. He was tossing some very light dust into people's eyes, which would then sink back into their heads into hollowed darkness. People started moaning and screaming, running into trees, walls, falling off the dock etc. he did this to about everyone then got to me. I was crying and begging him to leave me be which he did. He told me that I was to bear witness, and to warn people that he was coming and to spread his word. He then walks off across the lake. Across the top of the water. . .and I look around simply seeing people crying, falling, etc.

I'm not a strongly religious person. Why the hell do I have to have a Jesus dream?

[Mustard]

it means i'm your daddy!
You shut yer whore mouth, Pat Sajak!

[WET HOT MESS]

I had this dream where I was about 10 or something and we had decided to move elsewhere, rather than the course that was really taken, and I made friends with this pretty blonde girl, though I can't quite describe her face because the dream is already fading. Anyway, we started off just breaking into cars for fun and then we went more extreme into breaking into people's houses. That stuff kinda wore off so we went crazy by taking people's microwave and put all sorts of shit in there. We shoved in woodblocks, calculators, cell phones, cookie plates, baking sheets (don't ask how it fit, it's a dream), and we'd set it to 10 minutes, run out and watch the houses explode. It was so much fun because we targeted a bunch of the snobby girls with fake noses and watching them have a MJ moment really made our day... or night. I dunno. I woke up with an urge to burn something.

[Hodge]

I've been having recurring dreams where I have actually gone back to school. In different dreams it's later on in the semester and there's this one class (English, I think) that I keep skipping. I've actually skipped it so much that I only really attended the first day and said fuck it. The thing is that I haven't opted out or anything so I'm gonna get an F on my transcript.
During the last dream in the saga I'm near the end of November and now I'm trying to opt-out before the last day of classes. I hate dreams that stress you out.

I think I take life too seriously.

[dantino]

I lie absolutely still, willing the fourth dimension to stop. Above me rests a goddess, stepping to the familiar dance of love, wooing me with her strategic flickers of eye contact and her half-stammering moans of ecstacy. The grind of flesh on flesh and the images of absolute beauty bring me closer to nirvana. The arch of the back, the curve of the ass, our complete nakedness, her hands gripping at my chest, her response to my touch, the sweat that flys off of us, spreading the smells of sex that invade my nostrils, they all call forth the release from within me that I crave. I think "Baseball baseball baseball", I dig my claws into her thighs, I yearn for her to hurt me, anything to delay this moment. I find myself speaking words that aren't mine.

"it is the spring of my life; I should bloom to the blazing pinnacle of youth, then fall from the vine of the innocents."

She chants, "Oh daddy, fuck me!"

"Life hasn't even started, and already I'm plagued by regret. I'll be forever haunted by ghosts of memories of dreams of what might have been--I could have been a contender!"

she responds "Oh my god Dante, I love it when you talk dirty!"

"I've withered on the vine and am left to rot under the gleaming sun ensconced in the still blue sky."

She yells, "Lords of Cobalt I'm cumming!"

I'm over the edge, unable to control myself anymore I accept what's about to happen, first the orgasm, then the release, then black. Unsure of whether I've closed my eyes or gone blind I continue cumming, the final thrust, then a sharp pain and a strange warmth in my chest. My vision comes too and I see her staring down at me with a kindness in her eyes, a wetness just starting to swell in the whites of her eyes. I look down at my chest and see a blade buried in it, skin to the hilt.

What a way to go.

[WET HOT MESS]

Was that a lemon?

[dantino]

Was that a lemon?


Was that a question directed at me?

If so, no. It was a story that I wrote up based on this one recurring dream that I have. I'm not really sure what it means.

[NOTKyle]

I just had a dream that me and EG were roommates in an art school and he collected #2 pencils, and had like boxes full of them.

He was friends with someone that wore plaid.

That is all.

[WET HOT MESS]

So I've been having weird dreams about a second prom and a black dress identical to the one I wore to prom. Except the real one was cream color. I dunno, I remember beating people with wood blocks. That's been going on for like... 3 days. I barely remember them except for random tidbits that won't go away. Like a texture or a smell. I always wake up feeling out of place.

Anyway, last night's dream was really weird. Me and a couple of my girlfriends were walking around some blocks full of small shops runned by old town folks. We go into this one boutique that appeared to be going out of business because that's what I interpreted it as. We went around and saw marble mannequins wearing bold colors, bright ass orange and deep blue, and stuff. I remember the place looking so distinct, the colors seem to jump out of place, as if I were wearing 3d glasses. Everything seemed almost cartoonish how the colors stood apart. So we wander around towards the back of the store, hoping that there were more dresses, but instead it lead into another store on the other side of the block. It was a really depressed looking book store with a few messy shelves full of paper and books a little off the middle of the store. There was a register desk next the window entrance. An old man was minding his own business, reading newspaper behind the desk. His outfit really bothered me, he was in a red pinstripe shirt, blue tie, blue pants, dress shoes. He just really stood out like from another time. The carpet was faded blue and me and my girlfriends were browsing through the books. They were all old, used, tattered, really antique books. There were old medicine books, old textbooks, newspaper, tons of misguided pamplets and magazines about controversial subjects (drugs, homosexuality, abortion, etc), things that shouldn't be in circulation anymore. I see letters, so I grabbed them and they were blood stained and I put them back. But I grab them again and find out they were from the civil war era so I decide to take it. Then I browse around the same 3 shelves over and over to find something to buy, mostly out of pity for the old guy. One of my friends grab a big black book and call us to check it out. As soon as she opened it, her face melted off and she fell to the floor dead, yet we walked away and around like nothing happened. Another friend find some old art drawings from a starved to death artist, but as soon as she tucked it under her arm, she started puking up blood everywhere. The shelves were painted with her blood vomit, still she kept walking to the old man only to fall dead at his feet. I don't think he even looked up. I don't know what was wrong with me, I don't seem to mind the scene, but I started getting really interested in these strange collection of books and start grabbing language textbooks and anything that might catch my interest. I even pick up the book that ate my friends face. It was as if I were captured in a frenzy and I was in my own world. I don't even know how to describe the sensation, it was light and heavy at the same time. I step over the dead friend and other friends start showing up magically. I don't remember much after that except for the fact that I sat there and started reading while people just died in morbid ways around me.


I think my subconscience is trying to tell me something.

[Mustard]

Yes, yes it is. Its telling you to be more of a whore, and less of a prude.

That will be $75.

[WET HOT MESS]

Do you take GMFs? Because I don't care, that's all you're getting.

[vasili denisov]

I was in the changing room and had just taken a shower. I put on a very expensive business suit, slowly. I was walking up the tunnel of a sports stadium, passing somber, downcast people every few feet. They gave me looks of encouragement, and would say "Good luck, commander", "Commander, our hopes are with you."

Then I was on the field of the stadium, on a day thick with clouds. I sat at a small cheap Staples desk, and right across me sat a blandly handsome man, in an excellent suit, staring hard in my eyes. I knew that it was very important not to break looking from his stare, I couldn't say why, just, whatever I did, don't look away, though of course I would. As these thoughts passed through, out of my vision someone was walking slowly, and I heard the word "Commander" repeated again and again. I looked over, because my eyes are like light, just drawn to points of mass. It was a woman of obvious beauty, long thick dark hair, in an orange taffeta dress. I looked intently at her face, because I kept feeling that it was heavily burned, then covered well with make-up, yet though I stared and stared, I couldn't see some small scar that would give the game away. When I looked back at my opponent, his eyes were closed and his smile wide, of rotted yellowed teeth. As I looked the teeth became crumbled, burning buildings.

I was in a jeep driven along a cityscape that had been torn into by a billion dust-sized fists, then set on fire. A dark clump of smoke, large as any mountain range hung behind it. We came to a stop before some wreckage, something large and metal, maybe a crashed plane, and an old woman in agony crawled slowly towards us. Something was repeated over and over, she was saying, help me, jesus, help me, I thought. Thank god she's crawling like that, I thought, and I can't see how burnt her face is. "Mam, this isn't a church", my driver said, "This is a jeep."

I remembered then that bank vaults were kept closed during the great San Franciso fire because the air was so hot the money might catch flame. I hope someone remembered to take that precaution, I thought. And I remembered during the San Franciso earthquake all kinds of immigration paperwork was lost, so chinese workers were able to stay in the country. This will mean more chinese girls, I thought. Score.

[TheImpossibleMan]

I dreamed I was watching a Superman movie that had only just come out, and it was really good. The more I watched it, however, the more it became like Rush Hour 3, up to the point of Chris Tucker appearing in the film and cracking wise at Superman and the two exchanging barbs, and the film taking a dive in quality. Lois Lane died at the end, and it was sad and poinant, but Tucker almost ruined it. After the film, I remember marveling at the fact that so many good superhero movies (Iron Man, the Dark Knight, and now this Superman) had come out this year.

[The GWD]

Chris Tucker showing up in buddy cop style with Superman, and you say that's where the film took a DIVE in quality?

[TheImpossibleMan]

The jokes werent funny.

[Face]

last night I dreamed that a friend of mine chopped up his girlfriend's dog and threw it in a swimming pool... he had a reason why and it made sense at the time

I think I might need therapy

[Archetype]

So last night/today, I had this dream that was a weird amalgamation of pieces of my life mixed with various wonderfully subtle references that I'm only now starting to catch. Lately, a lot of my dreams have been like that, where my subconscious slips me things I'm totally unaware of. For instance, there'll be a quite vivid situation, where I'll be in the middle of a debate or group discussion, with not just one or two viewpoints, but a full array of ideas. And to top it off, someone will ask a question to which I know the answer, but can't think of it, and someone else will pop up with said answer before I can think of it. Like having multiple unconscious minds all at work.

But this one was unique, in that it felt like a well thought out story. I can't remember all of the details, but it started out with this relatively high-ranking corporate pawn (A younger Tim Robbins), an executive of sorts. The day begins like any other, hectic but fairly normal. But as the day goes on, he notices something that pops up in some research, marketing maybe, that part wasn't clear yet; numbers that didn't add up. He can't check into it at the moment, but he decides to stay late and look into it, thinking it's an error in the computing that'll come back to bite him in the ass.

The environment is surprisingly vivid. He has himself a corner office with a sort of clean, hygienic look. The outer walls are almost entirely replaced by giant windows, and the floor, desk, and everything except for the large leather chair look to be made from stainless steel. His computer is a sleek, minimalist look, I suppose taken partly from the design of the Imacs, but with a slight curve to the base. I guess this is my normal vision of what a corporate goon's office might look like, really classy and minimalistic.

So after the day is over, he returns to his desk, bit of a straight cut to the night. As he works on further research into the anomally, it turns out to be an error alright, but not the kind he expected. Someone's been funnelling money into an alternate source, and someone failed to properly cover it up. Mr. Robbins can't figure out where without likely raising some red flags to whomever it is that's been stealing the money. It's obvious that the source is much higher than him, so he resolves to use a more secure platform to gain entry into whatever this is.

As the weeks wear on, he slowly discovers that it isn't simply someone stealing money (cliche? what can I say, it was a dream). Someone's been putting together a side project with company funds. All signs are beginning to point towards some kind of corporate espionage to take down the entire firm. He can't figure out why.

He hears a light crash (his home looks a lot like Kevin Costner's in Mr. Brooks, now that I think about it, classy, but with a more wooded look than his office). Immediately he turns off his computer, flicks the lights off, and grabs his gun from one of his drawers. Generic looking gun, but something is off about it, like it's more than would your average executive have around for protection. He knows what he's doing with it.

Quickly towards against the wall, he slides forward, ducked down, towards the entrance of the room. His hand moves towards the door to close it, and he notices a red dot on it, and hastily moves it away as someone shoots, right into his computer screen. He jumps down on his stomach and shoots several times in the direction of the fire, then rolls out of the way, jumps to his feet and turns his direction to the other door. Before he reaches it, the but of a gun hits him square in the nose, and he goes down like a sack of bricks.

When he comes to, the room is still dark, but now he's in an old rusty chair. Immediately he realizes the place is unfamiliar, but stays calm as a weak light just above him flickers on. A man comes forward and says something to the effect of "We've been watching you." Oddly enough, the entire time his actual name is never mentioned. Maybe because I never needed one.

He looks to his feet and arms, expecting to be restrained, but nothing, so he leaps forward to disarm the man in front of him, but the man is much faster, and his arm wraps around Robbins' attacking limb, and flips him on his back with the man's other hand firmly attached to his throat. "Behave, now." After a few seconds, the man releases his grip and Robbins moves slowly to his feet (it's occured to me how ridiculous it might seem that Tim Robbins of all people would be a self-trained action star in this dream, but it was still cool).

The man goes on to tell him about certain corruption within the business, and while all legal, is completely despicable, so him and his unnamed associates were "forced" to take matters into their own hands, in what would seem a slightly less legal fashion. As it develops, they've put together somewhat of a militaristic "rebel" force, and looking to add our protagonist to their ranks. I'm guessing this is somewhat related to my recent quick skimming of Blackwater's wikipedia entry.

Over the next few months, there's somewhat of a training montage, as they initiate him into their "secretive" organization, as he continues to work for the firm during normal hours, putting together certain plans and information. No real "why" as to Robbins sudden denouncing of this corporation, but it's also Tim Robbins, so yeah.

It gets set up so that he's about to go on his first "mission", so Robbins puts the work in to take a 2 week vacation.

Fast forward to a chopper, a lot like Rainbow Six Vegas 2's, only mirrored, with the opening on the left side, and the seating slightly different. There's a man he met during his training there, apparently the leader, and he's introducing the crew. The man says something philosophic about "man needing vices," saying that so and so likes his hookers, and that you'll never see the other guy, a bald, rough but clean looking black dude, without a dip in his mouth. Robbins says "How's it going," and the black guy just responds with a simple "Fuck you."

Looking out over the city they're flying above, it becomes clear that the city is Western, but apparently was hit by some kind of terrorist attack, cutting it off from the rest of the civilized world. Apparently, the firm was funding projects to "rebuild" the city, but the money used was actually going to something along the lines of drugs or something else that wasn't actually explained. There's a yellow hue to the place, so I believe it's located in some kind of desert.

The team lands on some rooftop, and they move towards some predefined area, not exactly sure where they're going. Robbins starts talking about some specifics about the firm in relation to where they are, but none of the guys knows what he's babbling about and the leader responds with some sort of "you aren't at the firm anymore, you're working for us." To which Robbins says something along the lines of "You don't understand..." and starts saying that he's seen the layouts of where they are before, where certain monuments should be, and busts out his computer, pulling up a high-tech schematic of the place, mentioning that he didn't know what it was before, but now he understood, yada yada. The leader says, "See, I knew there was a reason they brought you on, couldn't be your fighting skills..." refering to the moment in his house where the man took him surprise, "That was you??" "Would you two faggots quit flirting, there's 3 bogies (or whatever the proper term is) something something."

That was when I woke up.

[JustinCase424]

I had a short dream. I was in my house and was looking at this Blackberry I found on the ground. I put my sim card in it and the cops called. They told me to give the phone back and I said No. They said they were going to arrest me if I did not return the phone. So I hopped in my car and was immediately followed by three cop cars that came out of nowhere. I shot onto the highway and before I knew it, I was up to 150mph. All of a sudden, a deer appears in the middle of the road. I swerve to avoid him and my car starts flipping (just like in Casino Royale). The car stops flipping and comes to rest in a ditch. Then my phone rings. I pick it up and the cops say I did a good job and that I can keep the phone now.

[The Dude]

So I had this weird dream last night where i was fighting in the UFC, I don't remember who, and I KTFO this guy much like koscheck vs. yoshida seen here:

UzCTsZ284ZQ

As I was celebrating, one of my exes came into the octagon and put my hand down her pants and whispered in my ear "Can you feel how fucking wet that just made me?"


that's all i remember

[WET HOT MESS]

I need to stop hanging around here...


So I'm out with a bunch of my girlfriends to watch some movie, and as soon as I enter the room, my girlfriends all morph into old ass GMF dudes with beards and shit, me still holding the popcorn and soda. We were supposed to be at someone's house, but I end up in a theater. I'm confused as hell so I sit down in the middle row seats and random GMFers are there like it's some fucking convention. The previews starts with weird foreign movies, and then poof, I see Mongo on the big screen. He's sitting on the floor next to the bed, half crying with a passed out drunk girl sprawled face down across the bed, moaning and drooling all over the place. Mongo picks up his broken emo glasses and starts crying, the audience starts roaring in laughter. Mongo proceeds to dig in his red back pack and pulls out a sewing kit and someone sitting next to me leans in and I saw streaming tears of laughter, while Mongo is still up there crying. Timmy then pulls out some thread and I see this D&G shirt with a ripped sleeve, and I'm still confused as shit, like what kind of crap movie is this, and everyone is laughing so I chuckle along, just to fit in. Then Mongo bangs his head on the floor and tears at his hair crying and the audience starts howling in laughter. I see Rich shooting soda out his nose and then random GMFers calling him a fagshionista. Our beloved Brian Peppers look alike ups himself to get him a soda bottle, cracks it open, camera zooms into his running mascara, and he takes a big gulp. Someone behind me shouts, "YOU'RE A FAGGOT" and throws something onto the screen, leaving a dark stain across his face. I'm really weirded out and then wake up.

[Jericho]

That cannot be real. Fantastic, though

[mongo]

fucking awesome.

[WET HOT MESS]

Totally real. So real that I think that's a sign I need to stop coming here so much.

[mongo]

either that or you need to ban me.

[WET HOT MESS]

Fuck that, I need to ban myself.

[Jericho]

Totally real. So real that I think that's a sign I need to stop coming here so much.
It's not as weird as me and Jew running a fraternity and killing a leopard

[Thewellz]

I had this really weird one years ago that is still remember for some reason. I was in the music video for "I Disappear" by Metallica and at the part where the plane is flying, I was running away and tripped. But when I fell i didnt hit the ground I fell into another movie. Then I got into another chase scene in that movie and it all repeated, falling into movie after movie till I woke up.

[Jericho]

I swear to fucking god, every time that I ever have a sex dream, something fucking happens and I never gat laid.

Last night, I had a dream that Vanessa Minillo and I were in a bed making out. She was in a bra and panties, and every single time I made a move down there, she kept stopping me and asking me if I was going to text her. I'm like yeah,I'll fucking text you.What the fuck? Are we gonna do this or not? And she's all I don't know if you'll text me. Then we start making out again for a bit and the door busts open and it's fucking Eddie Murphy high as fuck on PCP or some shit, and animal strong and he started beating the crap out of me. Manillo leaves in a hurry,and I'm like What the fuck, Eddie,and I woke up after he rocked me in the balls over and over for like a minute. My balls hurt until like noon today. What the fuck is that? I can't even get laid in my imagination

[Face]

that suddenly makes me feel a lot better about my current predicament

[Pax Britannia]

I swear to fucking god, every time that I ever have a sex dream, something fucking happens and I never gat laid.

Last night, I had a dream that Vanessa Minillo and I were in a bed making out. She was in a bra and panties, and every single time I made a move down there, she kept stopping me and asking me if I was going to text her. I'm like yeah,I'll fucking text you.What the fuck? Are we gonna do this or not? And she's all I don't know if you'll text me. Then we start making out again for a bit and the door busts open and it's fucking Eddie Murphy high as fuck on PCP or some shit, and animal strong and he started beating the crap out of me. Manillo leaves in a hurry,and I'm like What the fuck, Eddie,and I woke up after he rocked me in the balls over and over for like a minute. My balls hurt until like noon today. What the fuck is that? I can't even get laid in my imagination

Sounds to me like your gay for Eddie Murphy.

[cleetus]

I've always had flying dreams, but recently I've had these dreams that I can breath under water. I swim around the fish and shit just like I'm one of them. But it's not the subject of the dream thats bizarre, it that I've been having them every single night for weeks. I mean every night a different swimming dream.

[Archetype]

I swear to fucking god, every time that I ever have a sex dream, something fucking happens and I never gat laid.

Last night, I had a dream that Vanessa Minillo and I were in a bed making out. She was in a bra and panties, and every single time I made a move down there, she kept stopping me and asking me if I was going to text her. I'm like yeah,I'll fucking text you.What the fuck? Are we gonna do this or not? And she's all I don't know if you'll text me. Then we start making out again for a bit and the door busts open and it's fucking Eddie Murphy high as fuck on PCP or some shit, and animal strong and he started beating the crap out of me. Manillo leaves in a hurry,and I'm like What the fuck, Eddie,and I woke up after he rocked me in the balls over and over for like a minute. My balls hurt until like noon today. What the fuck is that? I can't even get laid in my imagination

Was it a gallon of PCP?

[Jericho]

Was it a gallon of PCP?
I don't know. He was all wild eyed and shit and just kept on punching me

[Archetype]

I don't know. He was all wild eyed and shit and just kept on punching me

That's gotta be the funniest image I've pictured today. I hope he was laughing too.

[Jericho]

He was snarling mad,and kept calling me ****** bitch

[WET HOT MESS]

Jeri, I think you're crazy like me.

[Jericho]

Jeri, I think you're crazy like me.
Maybe. Can you get laid in a dream?

[WET HOT MESS]

Well I have that going for me. And I usually survive any assault.

[The Dude]

so last night i dreamed that I flew out to SJ to hang out with GTSCH and when I got there we hopped in a car, drove to Seattle, and beat the shit out of Mongo.




I think I come here too often.

[WET HOT MESS]

I was on a table and I was being stealthy like a cat and then I stole some shit. I think I might've been catwoman in my dream.

[TylerDurden]

like... halle berry catwoman or michelle pfeifer catwoman?

[Pax Britannia]

Michelle Pfeifer catwoman made me feel tingly in my nob end when I was a wee lad.

[WET HOT MESS]

Halle Berry's rendition was all sortsa 'tardation. I love me some Halle, but that was laym. Michelle, now that's crazy sexy.

[TylerDurden]

i concur with your assessment.
i knocked out more than a few knuckle babies to michelle's rendition.

[6655321]

i just dreamt i was trapped in a specialty foods store, it was weird. they had every kind of seafood under the sun, including yellow lobsters and a giant baloney that was in the shape of a whole pig.

[NOTKyle]

I had a dream that I lost a game of madden. It was a weak fucking dream.

[mongo]

i had a dream last night that the ugliest girl i have ever banged called me up and said that she had had my kid a while ago and i owed her child support now. talk about a buzz kill.

[hatepoppy]

i had a dream last night that the ugliest girl i have ever banged called me up and said that she had had my kid a while ago and i owed her child support now. talk about a buzz kill.
you shouldnt talk about your sister that way.

[WET HOT MESS]

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream where I was having dinner with a blurry man. He talked a bit, but I wasn't paying attention. I had a plate full of dirty pennies and a soup spoon that I used to scoop them up and I tossed them behind my shoulder. I had a lilac dress, but that turned into a black cocktail dress moments later. I went to the bathroom and stared at the mirror for a few minutes and my neck snapped backwards like a broken twig. Blood started gushing from my neck and the skin was like dried leaves and still cracking. I stuck my fingers down my neck trying to scrape for something. I pulled out a rope and woke up. This description does that dream no justice.

[Face]

I'd recommend shock treatment

[WET HOT MESS]

Two decades too late.

[Face]

lobotomy?

[WET HOT MESS]

Sometimes, I still think I should become a horror movie director just so I can share my fucked uppedness with the people of the world.

[WET HOT MESS]

Before or after my neck broke?

[6655321]

i've been having alot of flying dreams lately.

[6655321]

totally.